Follow Your SOUL to Avoid Midlife Crisis

‘Tis the Set of the Sail — or — One Ship Sails East

Ella Wheeler Wilcox 1916

But to every mind there openeth,
A way, and way, and away,
A high soul climbs the highway,
And the low soul gropes the low,
And in between on the misty flats,
The rest drift to and fro.

But to every man there openeth,
A high way and a low,
And every mind decideth,
The way his soul shall go.

One ship sails East,
And another West,
By the self-same winds that blow,
‘Tis the set of the sails
And not the gales,
That tells the way we go.

Like the winds of the sea
Are the waves of time,
As we journey along through life,
‘Tis the set of the soul,
That determines the goal,
And not the calm or the strife.

Achieving Goals – at Midlife.. Positive strategies that can help

I’ve provided several positive thought strategies to help you overcome negative patterns that have prevented you from achieving your goals in the past. Choose several you feel will help you most and incorporate them into your daily life. Write down these strategies and remind yourself to pause and change your way of thinking each time you find yourself being critical of yourself. As you become more comfortable with Continue reading “Achieving Goals – at Midlife.. Positive strategies that can help”

2010: The Destination of Your Dreams by Debbie Ford

It’s so easy to make promises about the year ahead. You will follow your diet, be more financially responsible, be kinder to your spouse, spend more time at the gym…But, for most, the promises you make today will be empty dreams six months from now. So let’s examine this. I would suggest this happens because real change doesn’t occur when you just want something or wish for another reality. Real change happens when you feel genuinely inspired, turned on by possibility and unwilling to settle for anything less. It happens when you commit with all of yourself to a new way of life, to a new future. So how do you do this?

To feel inspired and lit up and to make room for optimism, enthusiasm, and lasting change, you must lighten your emotional load by addressing your past issues, your emotional blocks, your negative beliefs, your feelings of unworthiness and any infantile desires that drive you to repeatedly head off in a direction counter to your dreams. If you drop your commitments, it is not because you want to be seen as a quitter or a loser but because unconsciously you are more committed to an outdated self — an old identity that feels comfortable and safe even though it might have stopped serving you years ago. Often, psychological laziness will have you switch your life over to autopilot and fall asleep at the wheel rather than stay awake to what will fulfill your heart’s deepest desires and your soul’s purpose.

On this eve of a new year, a very fertile time to look over your past and commit to a new future, you can ask these simple questions to unload some old baggage and steer your life in the direction of a brilliant and thrilling future — the ride of your life.

1. What are your deepest desires for this new year?

2. What are you willing to give up to get them? What habits, limiting beliefs, unhealthy relationships or situations?

3. When did you become unwilling to do whatever it takes to have what you want?

4. What cravings or unmet needs will drive you away from your desired destination?

5. What structure of support will you need to ensure this new future?

6. Who could you count on to be your co-pilot to ensure that you will neither fall short of the runway nor overshoot your desired outcome? Who will help you stay awake?

If you wish to fly to new heights, begin by setting your sights on a destination you can reach and then create a flight plan, a map that will be your guide. And if at any time you don’t feel like following your flight path, stop, take a deep breath, call forth your vision for your future, then pick up your phone, dial your co-pilot and ask them to remind you that veering off your route really isn’t worth the pain of repeating the past. Veering off will only leave you in the same repetitive pattern of wanting, wishing, fantasizing, and then feeling intensely disappointed when you land at a destination other than the phenomenal future that awaits you.

So today, YOU have the power to choose the destination of your dreams, create a flight plan and stick to it. So gather your courage, your strength and your commitment and get onboard, making 2010 the most inspiring year of your life.

With love and blessings,

How To Redesign – Midlife can be your Best Life

I wanted to share this wonderful work from Dennis Merrit Jones — one of my favorite authors…: I couldn’t have said it better…

“Life is a blackboard upon which we consciously or unconsciously write those messages which govern us. We hold the chalk and the eraser in our hand but are ignorant of this fact. What we now experience we need not continue to experience but the hand which holds the erasure must do it’s neutralizing work.” ~ Dr. Ernest Holmes

As you enter into the New Year, I invite you to ask yourself this question: What’s new about me in 2009? If you are like many people you may look in the mirror and say there is nothing new that I can see; same old hair, same old teeth…same old body…same old aches and pains…same old relationships…same old job. Essentially, I see the same old me. I propose it doesn’t have to be that way because change is always constant–we just aren’t aware of it. Even down to the molecular level, change is continually happening. However, if the belief system that creates the template into which life’s energy flows is the “same old” mold as it was last year, life has no alternative but to give us a replay of last year. This is true at the level of the physical body as well as the body of our emotions and relationships. Life is energy seeking a place to happen. You are the conduit through which it happens. Energy is not choosing “how” it manifests in your life–you make that choice. My understanding of the aforementioned quote by Ernest Holmes is that we hold the power to change our future by understanding that while we can’t change the past, we can choose not to recreate it by dragging it into the future. Recently, I heard someone jokingly quip, “The future isn’t what it used to be.” The reality is the future will be exactly how it used to be until we learn to consciously pick up the eraser and the chalk.

We have the ability to inscribe something new on the “blackboard of life” in 2009. Metaphorically, we hold the chalk and the eraser because we have freewill and the ability to choose again. Sadly, however, most people are unaware of the amazing creative power they wield when they couple their intentional thoughts and deepest beliefs with a universal law that says, “It’s always done unto you as you believe.” This is why I don’t play the New Year resolution game because it’s dealing in willpower, which is working at the level of effect (from the outside-in) rather than cause (from the inside-out). Essentially, willpower won’t! It won’t sustain us for the long haul because it’s being held in place only by the conscious mind and that part of the mind tends to get distracted, bored, tired and restless, and then it’s off in some other direction which is generally counterproductive to our deepest desires. We have to go beyond the conscious mind and work at the level of our most deeply held beliefs about the way things “are” and the way they can be.

So, where do we start? How do we embrace what it means to be able to redesign 2009 by inscribing something new and improved on the blackboard of life”? We have to be willing to go where we have not gone before, to move beyond the old mindset. What better time that right now? While this exercise could be done on a computer, I recommend doing it with paper and pencil to provide a more visceral/tactile experience. Using a pencil with an eraser, draw a vertical line down the middle of a piece of paper. On the left side of the paper write down the experiences you have had in the past year that you would like not to recreate again in 2009. On the right side of the paper, adjacent to each of those statements, write down what you would like to see as your reality in the next twelve months. Each time you write down a new awareness in the right column, erase one in the left column you wish to release. With each erasure feel the “lightness of being” that comes with the knowing you don’t have to recreate the same experience next year. Spend as much time as possible lightly holding the new view of your life and try to embody the feelings you will have when you arrive at that vision. For now don’t concern yourself with how this will happen. Once you are clear on the what, the universe will guide you in the actions required to manifest the how. Realize that in this process you have just taken hold of the chalk and the eraser.

Happy New You!

Momentum in Midlife

Today I heard a lecture from someone who used to work with Tony Robbins. I want to share a process he shared with us. I think it fits in my latest midlife musings.

For anything to happen in life, for a true Midlife Reinvention,
you need to take it through several stages before setting goals:
Get Clear
Get Certain
Get Excited
Get Focused
Get Committed
Get Momentum
Get Smart

You can probably fill in the meaning of each of these. Let’s share our ideas on this. You know how I feel about getting clear! It’s what I focus on with all my coaching clients. It’s step one…and two and three..