Dr. Toni - Paths to Transformation

Aging As a Spiritual Crisis, Wit and Wisdom

Posted on November 16, 2018 by Dr. Toni

A few years ago, I came across an article by Bernard Starr in an online journal, Religion and Spirituality.

Dr. Starr titled the article “The Spiritual Emergency of Aging: Surviving ‘Thirty Something’ and Beyond.”

I wasn’t interested in the issues of the 30-something drama. Even my daughters were well past such youthful angst. It was the ages “beyond” that interested me, especially his concept of a spiritual crisis. I saved the article and read it again, recently, as I pondered life as an old person.

Wit and Wisdom has highlighted many of the ages and stages in life’s journey. We speak of the opportunities that later life can bring. We talk about our place in community life. We emphasize our problem-solving skills and our wisdom. We learn to enjoy freedom from the tasks of raising children and making a right livelihood. We may even rejoice in being “older” but never old.

And we are kidding ourselves. Most of us will become old. Yet I feel uncomfortable even using the word “old” here, for it is fraught with negative images that we try to avoid. Many of us will experience the dreaded frailties of old age. We will grumble mightily about the indignities of age, or perhaps make a joke of it, saying “Old age ain’t for sissies.”

But we will cling to life, even to life as an old person.

Within the very real physical difficulties of old age, there lies a significant spiritual crisis. It is a crisis of identity. Who am I?

The tasks and roles that have made life worthwhile gradually slip away. Who am I, if not the parent who provides, the trusted and competent worker, the valued member of the civic or church committee, the one who can be counted on to bring the goodies to coffee hour? Who am I, when I can no longer take my place in the world. Who am I, if I cannot be as I have always been?

We are forced to come to a new understanding of personal worth. Each of us is more than the tasks we have done, the successes we have accumulated. We are more than the failures we have endured. It is not easy to come to this understanding, for we have spent so many years in a tough culture that values productivity above all else.

“But how shall I achieve such a peaceful mind,” a reader might ask. I have a few suggestions that I put in the form of … New Year’s Resolutions!

Well, why shouldn’t octogenarians and those beyond get into the spirit of the season? Add your own thoughts.

Resolution 1: Raise the subject of late life with a good friend. Share your hidden fears and perhaps laugh at yourselves a little.

Resolution 2: If you are a “just the facts, ma’am” kind of person, add a bit of reflection to your life. This might be a book of poetry to read or listening to soothing music on a regular basis.

Resolution 3: Do what you need to do to protect your health (exercise/diet/appropriate medical care).

Resolution 4: Ask your minister or rabbi to develop a sermon on the crisis of late life. The topic can be valuable to younger people as well, as they face their own aging and that of loved ones.

Resolution 5: Engage with other people, age mates and others. I know this is not easy, especially in winter. Check the Keene Senior Center for small group activity. It is critical to stay connected.

Resolution 6: If you are isolated by circumstances, request a visitor from the Neighbors program of the Retired Senior Volunteer Program or a parish visiting program.

Resolution 7: Rejoice as you are able. Tap your toes a bit.

Late life can be difficult. There is much to do, to make possible a safe and satisfying old age. Society has a role here, through government, community institutions and faith communities. Neighborhoods can be important as well. The aged, too, have a role to play. We, the old, must do what we can to age responsibly and well.

Martha Bauman enjoys observing and studying the issues of aging, both in her own life and in the life of the community. She welcomes your comments about senior issues. Email mabauman@myfairpoint.net

10 Tips to Prepare for Golden Years

Posted on November 16, 2018 by Dr. Toni

Take stock now of plans, health, finances, expert says

By Paris Achen
Columbian Staff Reporter

This first wave of the silver tsunami began this year when the baby boomer generation began to turn 65.

Between now and 2030, all 76 million baby boomers will turn 65, placing an unprecedented toll on Medicare and Social Security resources. By 2030, 55 percent of the federal budget is projected to go toward the two benefits programs, according to the Congressional Budget Office.

“I don’t know how we are possibly going to sustain baby boomers’ future, and that’s the near future,” said Vancouver gerontologist Gail Haskett. She spoke at a Rotary Club of Vancouver meeting Wednesday at the Red Lion Hotel Vancouver at the Quay.

That’s why baby boomers need to do everything they can to prepare for old age, said Haskett, owner of Vancouver-based Aging Resources Inc., a national firm that provides geriatric care management and family/caregiver consultation services. Here are her top 10 tips for doing just that:

• Challenge your concept of retirement. The baby boom after World War II marked not only a record surge in population but a generation that would experience longer life expectancy. In 1945, life expectancy was about 66 years. In 2010, it exceeded 78 years, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Medical advances have made it possible for some people 65 and older to continue being productive in the workforce.

When considering retirement, don’t assume that retirement at 65 is the best choice. The main question to consider is whether you can afford to retire, but there are other factors to consider before you make a decision about when to take on a life of leisure.

“Are we mentally prepared for it?” Haskett said. Some retirees who give up jobs become angry or depressed because their job was their main source of fulfillment.

Whether you retire at 65 or later, it’s important to start doing the things you enjoy now, Haskett said. That way you don’t miss out on the things you love because you postponed retirement. Plus, developing interests and hobbies outside of work also helps better prepare you for spending your time once you finally do retire.

“Create a bucket list now and start doing it,” Haskett said.

• Make a retirement budget. More than half of baby boomers haven’t calculated how much they’ll need to save for retirement, according to AARP.

One amount doesn’t fit all. Some experts say you need at least 70 percent of your pre-retirement income, but if you are low-income, you’ll need about 90 percent. The amount also depends on your standard of living. Consult a financial planner or an online calculator to determine how much you’ll need.

• Start saving. Twenty-nine percent of baby boomers have saved less than $10,000 for retirement. After you know how much you need to retire, make savings goals and start saving immediately, Haskett said. Contrary to popular advice, Haskett said, she discourages people from buying long-term care insurance because the benefits are often restricted in ways they might not expect. For example, the policies often don’t cover the cost of a caregiver to shop, clean or feed a policyholder who is feeble, she said.

• Shed all debt. Half of households headed by someone between 55 and 64 had credit card debt in 2009, according to the Federal Reserve. The same age group accounts for 16.9 percent of bankruptcies. Consult a credit counselor and begin a debt reduction plan.

• Take care of your health. Exercise an hour a day, and eat plenty of fruit and vegetables. It will enhance your quality of life today and in old age, Haskett said.

“Every impaired person I know wishes they had taken better care of their health,” Haskett said.

• Plan ahead for impairment and death. Drawing up a living will with advance directives can help guide your family through difficult choices about your treatment in old age. Establish health care power of attorney to allow your spouse or family member to make health care decisions for you when you can’t.

“Otherwise your family is going to go through a lot of consternation trying to decide what to do, whether you’re aged or passed away,” Haskett said.

• Convene a “What if … ?” meeting. Meet with your family to share with them what you want to happen if you are incapacitated or die.

• Prepare your home. About 90 percent of baby boomers prefer staying at home rather than going to a care facility in old age, according to AARP. Modify your home so you are able to stay there. Remove any barriers that would prevent you from getting around the house in the event of impairment. Certified age-in-place specialists can offer some advice on what to do.

“Some people wait until something happens, and then, it’s too late. They have to go to a facility at least while changes are being made.”

• Makes friends outside work and family. If your social life revolves around work or family, you might be setting yourself up for isolation in old age, Haskett said. Take stock of who you know and who will help fill your social needs when you retire. Engage in activities that will help expand your social circle.

• Have a positive attitude. A good attitude helps people to cope with the challenges of aging and the challenges ahead of the country, Haskett said.

Paris Achen: 360-735-4551; http://www.twitter.com/Col_Trends; http://www.facebook.com/ColTrends; paris.achen@columbian.com.

Aging is a Triumph, Not a Tragedy

Posted on November 16, 2018November 16, 2018 by Dr. Toni

So spake the great geriatrician, psychiatrist and elder advocate, Robert N. Butler, who died in December 2010. According to his biographer, W. Andrew Achenbaum, he helped

“…to transform the study of aging from a marginal specialty into an intellectually vibrant field of inquiry.”
Personally, I doubt I would have become an elder advocate myself without having had Butler’s books to teach me.

Robert N. Butler cover artRobert N. Butler, M.D. is the title of this just-published biography of the great man who won a Pulitzer Prize for his 1975 book, Why Survive? Being Old in America and before that, in 1968, coined the term “ageism” as an analog to racism and sexism.

”Butler well understood that ignorance, prejudice, and stereotypes clouded the vision of vital, productive, fruitful aging that he wished to promulgate,” writes Achenbaum.

“In late life,” he continues, “Butler concluded that ageism was even more pernicious than he initially had realized…Butler now called ageism a disease, a morbid fear of decline and death that crippled individuals.”
Robert Butler may not have crushed ageism during his long career but his other achievements transformed attitudes and beliefs about old age that continue to help elders’ well being now and will continue to do so into the future.

Butler was appointed by President Gerald Ford to be the first director of the National Institute on Aging. Later he established the first U.S. department of geriatrics at Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York City.

In 1990, he founded the International Longevity Center (ILC-USA) to pursue the study of health and productivity of old people. Among the organization’s projects was the Age Boom Academy created in 2000 to

”…deepen the understanding on the part of 150 journalists of how the perils and promises of societal aging affected their respective news beats. Ideas germinated in the academy often found mass circulation,” explains Achenbaum.
In 2009, I was privileged to be one of the dozen journalists that year at the week-long Age Boom Academy – all expenses, as every year, paid in full. Dr. Butler brought together the crème de la crème of age researchers and experts from every sub-field imaginable and by the end, it was like being granted a masters degree in aging. Here is one of my stories about the Age Boom Academy.

[DISCLOSURE: Achenbaum quotes from my 2008 interview interview with Dr. Butler which you can read here.]

Achenbaum, who is professor of social work and history in the Graduate School of Social Work at the University of Houston, does a fine job of recounting Butler’s achievements that benefit elders – the remarkably large number of reasons the book is subtitled, Visionary of Healthy Aging.

But it is the many quotations from Achenbaum’s previously unpublished conversations with Butler along with the book’s epilogue – Butler’s unfinished “life review” in his own words – that most captured my attention.

Some thoughts from Butler you too may find provocative:

“Why do we have so much trouble enjoying the moment? This was not as true when we were children.”
“When a young person writes a novel he writes an autobiography; when an old person writes an autobiography, he writes a novel.”
“There is a dark side to the lives of those of wealth and privilege; they do not need to carry out the most elemental aspects of existence, the preparing of their own food and taking care of their own personal needs. In a perverse sense, elementality is a luxury of poverty.”
“Old age is no longer equivalent to disease, infirmity, frailty, decrepitude and slowing down. The brain is proving to be subject to repair and growth and this plasticity promises greater cognitive health.”
“The challenge is how to better understand, shape and value this new old age. Older persons themselves should define this portion of their lives, and not passively allow the culture to do so.

“They are the pioneers who have interest into the redefined old age and do not accept aging and disability as inevitable, unpreventable and untreatable. Society and culture, of course, have catching up to do.”