Aging Gracefully

The Science of Older and Wiser

Posted on by Dr. Toni

From THE NEW YORK TIMES

By PHYLLIS KORKKI
MARCH 12, 2014

Since ancient times, the elusive concept of wisdom has figured prominently in philosophical and religious texts. The question remains compelling: What is wisdom, and how does it play out in individual lives? Most psychologists agree that if you define wisdom as maintaining positive well-being and kindness in the face of challenges, it is one of the most important qualities one can possess to age successfully — and to face physical decline and death.

Vivian Clayton, a geriatric neuropsychologist in Orinda, Calif., developed a definition of wisdom in the 1970s, when she was a graduate student, that has served as a foundation for research on the subject ever since. After scouring ancient texts for evocations of wisdom, she found that most people described as wise were decision makers. So she asked a group of law students, law professors and retired judges to name the characteristics of a wise person. Based on an analysis of their answers, she determined that wisdom consists of three key components: cognition, reflection and compassion.
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INFLUENTIAL Joan and Erik Erikson devised a theory on human development. Credit The New York Times

Unfortunately, research shows that cognitive functioning slows as people age. But speed isn’t everything. A recent study in Topics in Cognitive Science pointed out that older people have much more information in their brains than younger ones, so retrieving it naturally takes longer. And the quality of the information in the older brain is more nuanced. While younger people were faster in tests of cognitive performance, older people showed “greater sensitivity to fine-grained differences,” the study found.

It stands to reason that the more information people have in their brains, the more they can detect familiar patterns. Elkhonon Goldberg, a neuroscientist in New York and author of “The Wisdom Paradox,” says that “cognitive templates” develop in the older brain based on pattern recognition, and that these can form the basis for wise behavior and decisions.

According to Dr. Clayton, one must take time to gain insights and perspectives from one’s cognitive knowledge to be wise (the reflective dimension). Then one can use those insights to understand and help others (the compassionate dimension).

Working from Dr. Clayton’s framework, Monika Ardelt, an associate sociology professor at the University of Florida in Gainesville, felt a need to expand on studies of old age because of research showing that satisfaction late in life consists of things like maintaining physical and mental health, volunteering and having positive relationships with others. But this isn’t always possible if the body breaks down, if social roles are diminished and if people suffer major losses. “So these people cannot age successfully? They have to give up?” she recalled asking herself.

Wisdom, she has found, is the ace in the hole that can help even severely impaired people find meaning, contentment and acceptance in later life.
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She developed a scale consisting of 39 questions aimed at measuring three dimensions of wisdom. People responding to statements on Professor Ardelt’s wisdom scale — things like “a problem has little attraction for me if I don’t think it has a solution,” or “I can be comfortable with all kinds of people” and “I’m easily irritated by people who argue with me” — were not told they were being measured for wisdom. Respondents later answered questions about hypothetical challenges and crises, and those who showed evidence of high wisdom were also more likely to have better coping skills, Professor Ardelt found. In general, for example, they said they would be more active than passive about dealing with hardship.

An impediment to wisdom is thinking, “I can’t stand who I am now because I’m not who I used to be,” said Isabella S. Bick, a psychotherapist who, at 81, still practices part time out of her home in Sharon, Conn. She has aging clients who are upset by a perceived worsening of their looks, their sexual performance, their physical abilities, their memory. For them, as for herself, an acceptance of aging is necessary for growth, but “it’s not a resigned acceptance; it’s an embracing acceptance,” she said.

“Wise people are able to accept reality as it is, with equanimity,” Professor Ardelt said. Her research shows that when people in nursing homes or with a terminal illness score high on her wisdom scale, they also report a greater sense of well-being. “If things are really bad, it’s good to be wise,” she said.

The Berlin Wisdom Project, a research effort begun in the 1980s that sought to define wisdom by studying ancient and modern texts, called it “an expert knowledge system concerning the fundamental pragmatics of life.” A co-founder of the project, Ursula M. Staudinger, went on to distinguish between general wisdom, the kind that involves understanding life from an observer’s point of view (for example, as an advice giver), and personal wisdom, which involves deep insight into one’s own life.

True personal wisdom involves five elements, said Professor Staudinger, now a life span psychologist and professor at Columbia University. They are self-insight; the ability to demonstrate personal growth; self-awareness in terms of your historical era and your family history; understanding that priorities and values, including your own, are not absolute; and an awareness of life’s ambiguities.

Wisdom in this sense is extremely rare, Professor Staudinger said, and research has shown that it actually declines in the final decades. As a coping strategy, it is better to be positive about life when you are older, she said, and the older people skew that way. They are more likely to look back on their lives and say that the events that occurred were for the best; a wise person would fully acknowledge mistakes and losses, and still try to improve.

True wisdom involves recognizing the negative both within and outside ourselves and trying to learn from it, she said.

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Modern definitions of wisdom tend to stress kindness — even if it’s not on the order of Buddha, Gandhi or the Dalai Lama. Wisdom is characterized by a “reduction in self-centeredness,” Professor Ardelt said. Wise people try to understand situations from multiple perspectives, not just their own, and they show tolerance as a result.

“There’s evidence that people who rank high in neuroticism are unlikely to be wise,” said Laura L. Carstensen, a psychology professor and founding director of the Stanford Center on Longevity in California. “They see things in a self-centered and negative way and so they fail to benefit emotionally from experience, even though they may be very intelligent.”

Professor Carstensen does not consider herself a wisdom researcher because “there’s a piece of me that thinks it’s not useful to use a term that’s been around for 1,000 years.” Some researchers are skeptical about testing for such an amorphous trait as wisdom.

But Professor Carstensen does study emotional regulation, and says that is a key component of wisdom.
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Sweet oven-baked grits and millet with pecans and maple syrup

Good Irish coffee starts with the cow
Thai peanut sauce marries well with shrimp and pineapple

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If you are wise, she said, “You’re not only regulating your emotional state, you’re also attending to another person’s emotional state.” She added: “You’re not focusing so much on what you need and deserve, but on what you can contribute.”

Daniel Goleman, author of “Focus” and “Emotional Intelligence,” said, “One aspect of wisdom is having a very wide horizon which doesn’t center on ourselves,” or even on our group or organization.

He said an important sign of wisdom was “generativity,” a term used by the psychologist Erik Erikson, who developed an influential theory on stages of the human life span. Generativity means giving back without needing anything in return, Dr. Goleman said. The form of giving back could be creative, social, personal or financial, and “the wisest people do that in a way that doesn’t see their lifetime as limiting when this might happen,” he said.

Dr. Goleman interviewed Erikson, along with his wife, Joan, in the late 1980s, when both were in their 80s. Erikson’s theory of human development had initially included eight stages, from infancy to old age. When the Eriksons themselves reached old age, though, they found a need to add a ninth stage of development, one in which wisdom plays a crucial role. “They depict an old age in which one has enough conviction in one’s own completeness to ward off the despair that gradual physical disintegration can too easily bring,” Dr. Goleman wrote in The Times.

In the final years of life, “Even the simple activities of daily living may present difficulty and conflict,” Joan Erikson wrote in an expanded version of her husband’s book, “The Life Cycle Completed.” “No wonder elders become tired and often depressed.” The book adds: “To face down despair with faith and appropriate humility is perhaps the wisest course.”

“One must join in the process of adaptation. With whatever tact and wisdom we can muster, disabilities must be accepted with lightness and humor.”

Whatever the nature of one’s limitations, simplifying one’s life is also a sign of wisdom, Dr. Clayton said, for example, by giving your things away while you are still alive. Some people have trouble with the idea of settling for less — “they’ve gotten so used to the game of acquiring more,” she said.

Settling for less and simplifying is not the same as giving up. In fact, when older people lack challenges, self-absorption and stagnation may take over, the Eriksons said. The key is to set goals that match one’s current capacities.

Continuing education can be an important way to cultivate wisdom in the later years, researchers say, for one thing, because it combats isolation. But training in practical skills may be less useful for older people than courses in the humanities that help people make sense of their lives, Professor Ardelt says. She and other researchers recommend classes in guided autobiography, or life review, as a way of strengthening wisdom. In a guided autobiography, students write and share their life stories with the help of a trained instructor.

Dr. Clayton says there’s a point in life when a fundamental shift occurs, and people start thinking about how much time they have left rather than how long they have lived. Reflecting on the meaning and structure of their lives, she said, can help people thrive after the balance shifts and there is much less time left than has gone before.

How It is to be Old

Posted on by Dr. Toni

From Ronni Bennett in TIME GOES BY – How It is to Be Old

Having fallen asleep with the television on a few nights ago, I woke a couple of hours later to the fragment of a sentence just before a commercial began: “…young people wondering how it is to be old.”

Sleep for me is a fragile thing easily lost to wakefulness so I quickly turned off the TV and did, for once, get back to sleep.

When I woke the next morning, it was with that phrase, “young people wondering how it is to be old” rolling around in my head and I am now dumping it on you, dear readers, with a couple of thoughts to go with it.

There are old people who insist they feel the same as they did when they were 20 or 30 or 40 or whatever younger year they choose. Although I’ve never said it out loud before now, I don’t believe them.

If that were true, it would mean they have learned nothing in their decades of life. That their worldview remains as it was at 20. That they have endured no heartbreak or unbounded joy, are still befuddled with youthful self-doubt and have no experience to inform their choices.

Which cannot possibly be true. Of course old age is different from youth and it should be. It is meant to be.

As I considered that sentence fragment, I did some wondering of my own: perhaps I missed a crucial lead-in to it because I don’t believe the young give much thought to what it’s like to be old. I didn’t get around to it with any seriousness until I was into my fifties.

Recalling this set me in mind of something Penelope Lively writes in her 2013 memoir, Dancing Fish and Ammonites [emphasis is mine]:

”…not only do you know (even if it is getting a bit hazy) what it felt like to be in your twenties, or thirties, but you remember also the relative unconcern about what was to come.

“You aren’t going to get old, of course, when you are young. We won’t ever be old partly because we can’t imagine what it is like to be old, but also because we don’t want to, and – crucially – are not particularly interested.”

Lively goes on to explain that as a teen she spent a lot of time with her 70-ish grandmother who acted as a mother substitute [this time the emphasis is Lively’s]:

”I was devoted to her,” she writes, “but I don’t remember ever considering what it could be like to be her. She simply was; unchangeable, unchanging…

“I never thought about how it must be to be her; equally, I couldn’t imagine her other than she was, as though she had sprung thus into life, had never been young.”

Although Penelope Lively is a – (sorry, can’t help myself) lively and interesting writer, I don’t always agree with her about aspects of aging. In this, however, I think she is correct.

When I make the effort to inhabit my younger mindset – in school days and my twenties – I recall being surprised to think of the old people I knew as my own age. When they spoke of events in their childhoods, it was impossible for me to picture them as young.

For me, Lively states it exactly as it felt for me then – they always had been as they were. And I don’t think we elders should go about trying to convince young people we were once their age. Like us, they will get to it in due time.

Because I have the book off the shelf and just for fun, here is some more from Lively that speaks to me:

”Certain desires and drives have gone. But what remains is response. I am as alive to the world as I have ever been – alive to everything I see and hear and feel…

“I think there is a sea change, in old age – a metamorphosis of sensibilities. With those old consuming vigors now muted, something else comes into its own – an almost luxurious appreciation of the world that you are still in.

“Spring was never so vibrant; autumn never so richly gold…People are of abiding interest – observed in the street, overheard on a bus.

“The small pleasures have bloomed into points of relish in the day – food, opening the newspaper (new minted, just for me), a shower, the comfort of bed. “It is almost like some kind of endgame salute to the intensity of childhood experience, when the world was new.”

Exactly as it is for me these days.

80 Ways to Feel Young and Stay Sharp

Posted on by Dr. Toni

80 Ways to Feel Young and Stay Sharp
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Feel young stay sharp

Aging is a natural, inevitable part of life. As we grow older, it becomes easy to look back wistfully on years past and wish we could reclaim our youth. While your 20?s may be the peak of physical capability and mental clarity you will ever reach, that doesn’t mean that all the years that follow have to be a letdown. In fact, all the wisdom and knowledge that you’ve accumulated with your life experiences can make them better than ever!

You can still look and feel young and vibrant for years if you take care of yourself the right way. But retaining your vitality is about so much more than doing the Sunday crossword and eating your vegetables – though those can play a part. Here we’ve compiled an abundance of tips for promoting the health of your body, enhancing your mind, and feeling young at heart no matter your age.

Preventive Maintenance
Preventive Maintenance

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Before we dive into all the healthy habits you should adapt, here are some things you should cut down on, eliminate completely, or keep in mind for your personal wellness and safety.

1. Avoid degenerative substances. – Regenerative substances work to rebuild your body and keep it healthy, while degenerative substances tear it down. It has been said that the top five degenerative substances are processed foods, sugar, alcohol, caffeine, and rancid fats and oils. A study was even done that found a correlation between depression and processed foods. Thus, it is wise to only consume these things in moderation.

2. Limit your intake of omega-6 fatty acids. These generate inflammatory hormones in the body and can be found in corn, cottonseed and soybean oils, and safflower.

3. Don’t rely on supplements for the nutrients you need. Supplements have been touted as a godsend, but you shouldn’t become dependent on taking them in place of foods that naturally contain healthful nutrients. Not to mention, these megadoses of nutrients may interfere with your body’s natural defense mechanisms.

4. Cut your calorie consumption. A lower daily intake of calories can prevent the slowing of your metabolism as well as slow the aging process. To make this easier, control the portion sizes of your snacks and eat your meals off of small plates.

5. Trim your belly fat. Research has shown that an excess of fat around your torso can triple your risk of dementia later in life. While you don’t have to be especially slender to be healthy, this fact is important to take into consideration.

6. Protect your skin. Not only should you take precautions to avoid skin cancer, but it’s also good to remember that healthy skin is a primary contributor to a youthful appearance. Thus, you should wear sunscreen to prevent premature aging, do not excessively tan or visit tanning beds, treat dry skin, and exfoliate often to remove dead skin cells.

7. Clean your teeth. As your dentist always reminds you, make sure to brush and floss your teeth. You can also use whiteners to keep your smile looking fresh and young.

8. Look after your heart. Your heart, right alongside your brain, is a major hub of activity in your body. Among other things, it keeps oxygen flowing through your body and manages your immune system. It is good to watch your cholesterol, monitor your blood pressure, and adopt positive habits to ensure that your heart stays healthy.

9. Quit smoking or don’t start. Smoking presents a whole host of problems that can affect both your physical appearance and your overall health. Besides giving you extra wrinkles, it also can cause lung disease, diabetes, cancer, and even damage your memory.

10. Stay away from drugs. They can significantly impair your mental clarity.

11. Take precautions. This may make you feel like a little kid again, but even doing relatively small things such as always wearing your seat belt or putting on a helmet when biking are important. You never know when one of these choices might save your life or protect your brain from harm.

12. Regulate your multitasking. While many people swear by multitasking, it actually isn’t a very efficient practice. Studies have shown that it affects how well you process and recall information. If you really want to remember what you are working on, concentrate on one thing at a time.

13. Resist mobility aids until you truly need them. Staying active is the key. Build up your strength and endurance to retain your muscle tone, rather than buying a cane or walker and relying on it to keep you moving while you allow your muscles to atrophy.

14. Schedule regular checkups. See your doctor every 6 months to a year to stay informed about the state of your health. If you notice any negative symptoms between visits, take detailed notes so you can come to your next appointment prepared.

15. Learn more about your medication. Do a bit of digging into any medications you are currently taking to make sure they aren’t causing memory impairment. This may be done through checking the side effects on your own, asking questions or reading discussions in forums, or talking to your doctor. Then if it is an issue, adjust your dosage or switch medications entirely.

16. Manage any chronic conditions. Living in denial will not make your health problems magically go away. Whether it is something going like fibromyalgia or an ailment like thyroid problems, remove the things in your life that make them worse and take the steps you need to feel better.
Eat, Drink & Be Merry
Eat, Drink and Be Merry

Photo by Flickr user markshoots.

In the last few years, there has been a lot of buzz about certain powerfoods that greatly enhance your diet and increase your longevity. But what are these so-called superfoods, and what specifically do they do for your body? And are there any other generally helpful eating habits to remember?

17. Always eat breakfast! What they say about breakfast being the most important meal of the day may have a grain of truth. Among other benefits, eating a healthy breakfast can give you a more nutritionally complete diet, improved concentration and performance, and better weight control.

18. Include omega-3 fatty acids in your diet. Of all the superfoods, those containing omega-3 fatty acids are probably the most widely acclaimed. An excellent, natural source of this fat is fresh fish. Salmon is the very best choice, but there are plenty of other fish that will do. These include:

Tuna
Anchovies
Sardines
Herring
Trout
Arctic char
Halibut
Mackerel
Bluefish
Sturgeon

Try to find wild fish instead of farm-raised, as those may have high levels of contaminants.

If you aren’t the biggest fan of fish, never fear. Many other foods also contain omega-3s. Walnuts, winter squash, kidney beans, pinto beans, pumpkins seeds, flaxseed and flaxseed oil, and soybeans are great options.

19. Make like a plant and absorb some chlorophyll. Chlorophyll purifies your blood, body, and skin. It can be found in veggies like spinach, celery, kale, parsley, collard greens, and watercress.

20. Protect your brain with leafy greens. For even more rabbit food, try cabbage, lettuce, broccoli, cauliflower, Swiss chard, Brussels sprouts, bok choy, and arugula, as they have been said to maintain the health of your brain and dramatically slow the process of aging.

21. Try a bit of CoQ10. Foods containing Coenzyme Q10, or CoQ10, can help treat high blood pressure, and they may even delay aging and improve skin, although no definitive research has been conducted as of yet. While CoQ10 is naturally present in a variety of foods, the highest amounts can be found in organ meats – such as heart, liver, and kidney – as well as beef, pork, peanuts, parsley, avocado, and soybean oil.

22. Improve your complexion. Clear up your skin naturally by munching on carrots, squash, oranges, grapefruits, lemons, papayas, or pineapples.

23. Reduce your depression. There are a handful of different foods that have nutrients which combat the symptoms of depression. For example, did you know that oatmeal is a source of serotonin? You could also be eating oysters and cashews for the zinc, or asparagus and avocados for the folate.

24. Season your food. Some spices may ward off Alzheimer’s, lower your blood pressure, and even protect against certain cancers. So when you prepare your next meal, considering sprinkling on some garlic, rosemary, sage, turmeric, or lemon balm.

25. The talk about tomatoes. New studies say that the red pigment in tomatoes called lypocene protects your cells from DNA damage caused by exposure to the sun. So break out the tomato paste to thicken your chili, or eat a bit of pizza or spaghetti.

26. Super fruits. You’ve probably heard all about the benefits of blueberries. These little berries are anti-inflammatory, packed with antioxidants, and may even reduce the effects of dementia. Goji berries are another super fruit, full of vitamin C, iron, and a bunch of other vitamins and minerals. Here are even more fruits you could be snacking on for a health boost:

Pomegranate
Apples
Bananas
Mangos
Watermelon
Raspberries
Apricots
Cantaloupe
Strawberries

27. Get enough calcium. I’m sure your mom reminded you plenty of times while you were growing up to drink your milk in order to keep your bones strong. That advice didn’t strictly apply to your childhood, as this need for calcium will never go away. Not to mention, consuming dairy products can help with weight loss and prevent the onset of osteoporosis as you age.

28. Don’t forget your whole grains. Oats, brown rice, buckwheat, barley, millet, and quinoa are all good ideas for promoting a more well-balanced diet. They contain vitamins, minerals, fiber, and a bit of protein.

29. Indulge in dark chocolate. For a healthy dessert or a tasty treat, try dark chocolate. It has been proven to lower your blood pressure, improve blood flow, and prevent the formation of blood clots. Just remember that chocolate is better for your health when it’s in moderation, and try to find some with 60% cocoa content or higher.

30. Snack on other specific sweets. For instance, peppermint can cause an increase in alertness and memory by acting as a stimulant, and ginger is able to ease arthritis pain.

31. Drink plenty of water. It is always important to stay hydrated. However, there are several factors which influence what proper hydration really means. These include:

Weather and climate conditions
Amount of clothing worn
Physical activity
Exercise intensity and duration
Level of perspiration
Type of medication(s) you are on
Existence of certain medical conditions (diabetes, heart disease, cystic fibrosis)

32. Brew some coffee. Too much caffeine can be a bad thing, as you already learned, but just a cup may boost your brainpower.

33. Fix a cup of tea. Drinking tea can also have positive effects. Green tea, for example, can reduce the risk and recurrence of several kinds of cancer. Black tea, white tea, and chamomile all have their own unique benefits.

34. Have a glass of red wine. Numerous studies have been done on resveratrol, the compound found in grape juice and red wine. It is possible that drinking these things will mean experiencing fewer problems of old age, such as heart disease or cataracts. However, researchers haven’t stumbled on anything concrete yet, so you should stick with one glass a day – just enough to reap the health benefits without going overboard and inviting a different host of problems.
Get Active
Get Active

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It’s no secret that staying fit is good for your body, but did you know that it also promotes the health of your brain? Read up on the different types and amounts of exercise and the rewards they offer, both physical and mental.

35. Don’t sit around. Some health professionals say you should not go for over an hour without getting up and moving around at least a little bit. If you have a desk job, take a short break to get a drink of water, use the restroom, step outside if the weather’s nice, or at least stretch some.

36. Do yoga. The practice of yoga comes with loads of benefits, such as better posture, greater flexibility, reduced stress, and an energy boost!

37. Take a walk. According to Gary Small, MD, the director of the UCLA Center on Aging, “Walking for just 10 minutes a day lowers your risk of Alzheimer’s by 40%.” Other regular physical activities that do not require much exertion, such as biking, gardening, or yardwork, will also do the trick.

38. Lift weights. This will help you lose fat and retain your muscle tone.

39. Play a game of catch. Besides all the running involved with retrieving the ball, playing catch refines your hand-eye coordination as well as your brain’s visual and tactile responses.

40. Get your heart rate up. A little exercise never hurt anyone – in fact, it helps a great deal! It increases your blood flow and production of endorphins, prolongs your life expectancy, and lowers your risk for disease. Not only that, but research suggests more exercise means less brain shrinkage and better cognitive function over time. Make sure to achieve a balance of both aerobic and anaerobic exercises for the best results.

41. Take dance lessons. Whether it is waltzing or salsa dancing, learning how to dance is both physically and mentally stimulating.
Maintain Your Mind
Maintain Your Mind

Photo by Flickr user Generation Bass.

The experts all say that your brain is just like any other muscle – if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it. I’m not suggesting you start binge-reading classic novels – not yet, anyway. Rather, there are small changes you could make in your daily life to preserve the functionality of your brain.

42. Don’t feel bad for forgetting. Having a hard time recalling information or blanking on someone’s name is not just a problem of old age. Whether you are 16 or 60, everyone forgets things. Keep this in mind, instead of calling it a “senior moment” or falling prey to negative stereotypes, because this could become a self-fulfilling prophecy if you allow it.

43. It is okay to make a note of some things. You aren’t weak if you keep a schedule, write down a grocery list, or post upcoming events on an online calendar. There is nothing wrong with utilizing the address book in your phone or setting an alarm so you take your medication on time.

44. Save your mental energy for important things. By all means, create a designated spot where you lay down your keys if that frees up room in your brain for concerns that are of a higher priority.

45. Don’t find yourself dependent on certain tools. While looking up a specific phone number in your contacts is perfectly fine, using your phone’s calculator for basic addition or subtraction is not. Do simple math in your head instead. And learn how to spell the words you use in written conversation – don’t let spell check fix them for you.

46. Repetition is the key to learning. This does not mean drilling the same piece of information into your head within a small window of time. You will achieve better retention if you spread out how often you revisit the same material over several hours or even days.

47. Switch up your routine. Sometimes our brains need to be woken up. This could mean driving a different way home than the route you normally take. Or it could be performing a task with a different hand, like stirring a pot of food, brushing your teeth, or cleaning your house.

48. Stay organized. Clearing the clutter – both tangible and intangible – will limit your distractions and help you stay focused on the task at hand.

49. Continually make improvements. In all aspects of your life, you should strive for efficiency. Learn quicker or more effective ways to complete household chores, correct your memory of words you most commonly misspell, implement more useful organizational systems, and more.
Stretch Your Smarts

Stretch Your Smarts

You shouldn’t ever quit presenting your brain with challenges or puzzles to solve, because if you get stuck in a rut of habit and routine, that’s when it starts to stagnate. Here are our ideas for combating that.

50. Do brain exercises. This is probably the advice you’d been expecting from this article: filling out the Sudoku or completing the crossword puzzle in the newspaper. However, when it comes to brain games, your options are virtually endless. Some other great ones are Mah Jong tiles, jigsaw puzzles, brainteasers, anagrams, and word puzzles. Pick the ones that sound the most appealing to you.

51. Break out the board games. We’re not talking Candy Land, either. Opt for something more like Scrabble, Boggle, or chess. Or if your close interpersonal relationships can handle it – Monopoly.

52. Play some Bingo. Or there is always Bingo. Playing a few rounds can improve your mental speed, memory, and ability to scan your surroundings for information.

53. Play video games. Not all video games are mindless and bloody. There are many out there that involve strategy, problem solving, and remembering lots of details.

54. Listen to Mozart. A recent study claims that enjoying one of Mozart’s concertos may temporarily raise your I.Q.

55. Study a new language. This stimulates the brain’s frontal lobes, which most often fade as the years drag on. Once you have a reasonable vocabulary under your belt, challenge yourself to read publications or watch television shows in the language of your choice.

56. Don’t be afraid to branch out. Read different kinds of books than you normally do, watch documentaries or thought-provoking movies, and don’t play the same video games over and over again. The mind thrives on variety.

57. Stay informed. Be aware of what’s going on in the world around you. Keep up with the news through your chosen medium, whether it’s the TV, radio, newspaper, or various online sources.

58. Surround yourself with intelligent people. They will introduce you to fresh perspectives, pursue interesting topics of discussion, and broaden your vocabulary. Don’t spend too much of your time on people who don’t have much substance.

59. Continue learning new things. School is not the only place you should be getting an education. Life is a journey of constant discovery and adventure. New insights or intriguing facts could be waiting anywhere you look; the key is not to stop seeking them out.
Remember to Breathe
Remember to Breathe

Photo by Flickr user Denise Cross.

In the midst of all this talk about personal fitness and self-improvement, it may be tempting to jump right in and put too much on your plate right away. But as it is written in Ecclesiastes 3, there is a season for every activity under the heavens. There is a time to work, and there is a time to be still.

60. Try to relax. Stress can accelerate aging, it destroys brain cells, and it damages the hippocampus, the part of the brain which deals with short-term and long-term memory and the consolidation of information.

61. Tackle any depression or anxiety. Besides the added stress they bring to your life, anxiety disorders or clinical depression increase difficulty concentrating, making decisions, and remembering things.

62. Meditate. The act of meditation – even for as little as 10 minutes a day – decreases cortisol, or what has been called the stress hormone.

63. Treat yourself to a sauna. Aside from giving you a healthy glow, it also softens your skin, improves blood circulation, and transports essential nutrients through your blood.

64. Pamper yourself. Moisturize your skin, get your nails done, or take a nice, relaxing bubble bath. This will help you feel better about yourself and look more youthful.

65. Get enough sleep. Strive for the recommended amount of sleep each night – for adults, it is 7-9 hours – and rest whenever you feel tired. Sleep serves to improve your reaction times, memory, and I.Q., and it helps consolidate your memories more efficiently. Sleep deficit causes proteins to build up on your synapses, and chronic sleeping problems have been linked to cognitive decline in old age.

66. Slow down. Take your time when completing tasks so you do them well and don’t have to correct any mistakes you made in haste.

67. Take time to disconnect. Numerous sources have said that electronic interruptions lead to a loss of concentration as well as problem-solving skills. They may also lower your I.Q. by an average of 10 points. So feel free to turn off your phone or step away from the computer every now and then – that email, Facebook message, or text can wait.

68. Stay positive. Ultimately, you should strive for contentment in your everyday life. Don’t fixate on the regrets of your past or the enigma of the future; concentrate on the present and live fully in each moment. This can have both emotional and physical benefits, as cultivating optimism may reduce the risk of heart disease and frailty.
Your Personal Life & Passions
Your Personal Life & Passions

Photo by Flickr user 23am.com

Finally, don’t neglect your meaningful relationships or personal interests in favor of intellectual pursuits or upholding a workout schedule. Connecting with your passions and the people around you is just as valuable.

69. Stay social. Besides the happiness that naturally comes with spending time with those you love, research has found that socializing is just as much of a cognitive exercise as crossword puzzles. It utilizes the parts of your brain that are associated with planning, decision making, abstract thinking, language skills, and response control. Not to mention, it also reduces cortisol.

70. Revitalize your relationship. It has been proven that people who are happily married experience numerous health benefits. These include increased longevity, decreased likelihood of developing chronic conditions, an improved immune system and decreased frequency of illness, and better mental health. However, the inverse is also true – an unhappy marriage can have negative effects on your health. So why not carve out some quality time with your spouse, or work on resolving an issue that’s been a point of contention for too long? It could be beneficial for you both.

71. Get involved. Consider joining a club, participating in a book group, attending a class, or doing volunteer work. These combinations of social and mental activity greatly stimulate your prefrontal cortex, and they are all rewarding in their own ways.

72. Own a pet. Having a pet – a dog or a cat in particular – can greatly improve your quality of life. It lowers your blood pressure, reduces loneliness and depression, lowers cortisol and increases serotonin, and much more.

73. Take up a hobby. Do something that makes you feel energized, something unrelated to your job that is just done for your own pleasure. Hobbies are an excellent way to channel your stress into something positive, and they give you a sense of purpose.

74. Express yourself. You don’t need to be an incredibly gifted artist to display your individuality. Your personality can shine through crafting, writing, playing a musical instrument, and even cooking and the clothes you wear! Self-expression helps you better process and assimilate information and experiences.

75. Make goals for yourself. It is good to have aspirations, whether they are personal or professional. Setting goals can boost your momentum, self-esteem, passion, and excitement. They give you a positive focus, a sense of control, and the knowledge that you’re living a full life.

76. Do things that make you happy. Don’t feel guilty about your leisure activities of choice; every waking second does not need to be spent doing something that could be considered productive. As Marthe Troly-Curtin put it, “Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.”

77. Have a laugh. Laughter engages numerous different regions of the brain, and figuring out the punchlines of jokes activates the parts of the brain that are vital to learning and creativity.

78. Shift your mindset. Instead of fighting it, accept the fact that you are growing older – but don’t let this knowledge rule your life. You shouldn’t allow room for any unnecessary negativity. Rediscover your enthusiasm, because feeling young at heart actually combats the physical and mental effects of aging, ultimately leading to a more satisfying life overall!
Additional Resources

Aside from the various articles and blogs I’ve cited, here are another couple of information sources you may find enormously helpful:

“Aging Well” at Help Guide – Explore topics relevant to living well over the age of 50.
“100 Ways to Keep Your Mind Healthy” at Open Education Database – Even more suggestions for taking care of yourself and protecting your brain, along with links to resources for each item on the list.

80 Ways to Feel Young and Stay Sharp by Sarah

“Lessons on Gratitude from Ram Dass” is locked Lessons on Gratitude from Ram Dass

Posted on by Dr. Toni

One of the spiritual lessons I have found quite useful over the years is that there is a great deal of difference between pain and suffering.   Pain is a sensation in the body or in our psychological bodies. Suffering comes only because of the way we choose to interpret the pain as something NOT GOOD – and therefore Not GOD!

I’ve worked with many people who, in the process of aging, have discovered that one of the most poignant ways we learn is through our bodies when they experience illness or pain. I’m reminded of the story about one of the founders of Unity, Myrtle Fillmore. She cured herself by blessing and thanking each organ of her body, praising intelligence within and encouraging it to come to new life! Rather than complain about the pain, she looked for ways to feel gratitude.

Before we can actually begin to be grateful for what we are experiencing in our bodies, we first need to accept what is. There’s a difference between healing and curing. Healing is KNOWING there is nothing wrong!! – Curing is about fixing something so that it can meet our expectation of health or wholeness in any area of our life, remembering that our expectation may not be the highest HEALING!

I have a friend who exemplifies this perfectly. Recently, I got a letter from Jan – who has been mostly confined to bed in utter pain for the past several years. She wrote a long litany of all the reasons she was grateful I was in her life these past few years. It was very moving for me and I’m so asserted that it was healing for her as well.

I recently read a book that reminded me of this once again. Many of you may know Richard Alpert who is more popularly known as RAM DASS. He’s been a leader in the human potential movement since the psychedelic 60’s with Timothy Leary. He then spent years following a guru from India, Maharajii– and doing teachings on higher levels of awareness all over the world.   He wrote several books – one of the most famous being Be Here Now. In the last few years, he had a stroke that left him paralyzed and one of his more recent books is on coping with Aging, Change and Dying. It’s called Still Here. Profound reading!

Ram Dass and Jan got me thinking a lot about the aging process and the opportunities it provides for living either in gratitude or complaint.

Ram Dass talks of several areas of suffering of those who are aging. (I could argue that most of these apply to all of us.) He calls these the usual suspects.

a) Memory Lapse – many people experience bouts of what they call senility (isn’t that one of our greatest fears – losing our minds?) But in the stories he tells, every person feels a sense of gratitude for finally they are able to live in the moment! Could that be what memory loss is attempting to teach us? It’s worth pondering.

b) Loneliness – learn to be quiet and be the witness of it with no denial of feelings. Feel what is. Be aware of your desire to cling to old experiences – or to the desire to relieve the loneliness by whatever means possible..

How to be grateful when you feel lonely? Know that loneliness is not aloneness – which is a moment for the Soul – be quiet, meditate, get to know yourself,

We are never alone. Reach out to someone nearby through your soul who may be feeling the same way. Through compassion and a genuine wish for the suffering of others to cease. When it can’t worry about itself, the ego becomes powerless to feed its own fears. Loneliness can become one of our greatest connections to God and to one another.

c) Embarrassment — Ram Dass at 63 tried to jump on a stage and wound up with his leg mangled and bleeding. He was almost ready to pass out. What he said of this experience was that it gave him the opportunity to let go of self-consciousness. He advises that when we allow ourselves to BECOME the embarrassment and give it complete domination then we can actually feel gratitude rather than complaint.

d)     Powerlessness – when we feel powerless, we are actually viewing the world as a foe rather than friend. So, one secret of spiritual practice is that our limits may become our strengths if we learn to work with them skillfully.   As our bodies slow down, we can use this change to increase our mindfulness. I invite you this week to look at what you think is your major limitation – and for ONE WEEK – see if you can find how it is really your greatest strength. Our cross is really our crown.

e)      Loss of role/meaning – before the ego attaches meaning to itself, we simply ARE.

The way to recognize meaning in life is to KNOW that Life is bigger than whatever we are going through at the moment.   Get a lifelong perspective – or better yet, a many lifelong perspective. If you think of the evolution of a soul, it MUST go through many phases…like the earth –that had to go through eruption – and major breakdown for each new breakthrough – like the caterpillar becoming the butterfly.
How to be grateful?   See everything, even sadness and depression, if that is your experience, as part of the soul’s evolution. If we look back on our lives, we’ll always see that depression was a precursor to amazing spiritual growth.   Mindfulness keeps life in perspective.

How we face situations in life really determines what those situations can offer us.

If you find that it’s difficult to be grateful in the moment, at least rake the time each night to go over the day – Forgive and release that which you would like to have been different – Letting it go every day insures that you’ll not be carrying it for years to come.

There’s a greeting that I put on all my phone messages that I’d like to leave with you today – it’s something we can choose each moment – Have a Great and GRATEFUL day!!

Spiritual Lessons from the Aging Process

Posted on by Dr. Toni

One of the benefits I have found in aging is learning finally to admit what I don’t know and can’t do. When I was young, I used to berate myself for the things I didn’t do well and work hard to learn them; as I age, I stick with what I know well and I hire those who can do what I can’t!

One of the other experiences that we can see as GIFT as we age, is that we can begin to learn to ask for and accept help. When we become more vulnerable and dependent on others, we often don’t like the idea. Most of us fight to not lose our independence.

Actually, when we are younger, we delude ourselves into thinking we’re independent, when in fact, we’re constantly dependent on others. We depend on our parents to feed, clothe and change us when we are born. We depend on our employers for our paychecks, or our customers to buy our goods or services. When we drive, we depend on the people who deliver gas to the station. The only thing that doesn’t change is what’s inside us.

Having faith and cultivating faith is first and foremost about trusting in life and learning to trust in other people.

Our ego desire is still always about autonomy. And our loss of autonomy could produce feelings of frustration, anger, and bitterness or, it could allow us to grow in our awareness of the interdependence of all of life and that indeed we are all ONE. Once again, an important spiritual truth.

It is my belief that all of us are here to grow into truly experiencing ONENESS & God-consciousness. This growth is an evolution of consciousness that when we allow it, occurs quite naturally through the lessons that life provides, especially as we age.

The soul chooses to experience circumstances that will help it cultivate an ever-deepening ability to love unconditionally and consciously embody its true nature which is Divine. When we FULLY learn this, we come to know that we are never alone.

As we age, many of our loved ones leave us, whether through divorce or death, and we may feel increasingly alone and lonely. When we are no longer defined by jobs that gave us meaning and satisfaction, we could in fact, feel like we’ve lost our identity. If we are no longer “productive” in the ways we used to be, what is our role?

These very things can become our greatest catalysts for growth. When we do our life review, we can see the talents we have been given and perhaps haven’t used fully. As we age, we have more freedom to give of ourselves without looking for a monetary award or without needing approval and acceptance. It becomes a time of true generative sharing. There are some spiritual teachings that tell us that until we reach this level of selfless giving, we have not yet achieved our purpose for being.