Adult ADD – from Mona Lisa Schultz

Learn now to pay attention and feel like you’re sharp as a tack, or at least not, as they say, the dullest tool in the shed.

Woman with Satellites

In a world that drives us crazy with all that information that comes at us from everywhere, it’s so easy to feel like you’re losing your mind. It used to be that the world was so much simpler with less information to keep in mind and fewer balls to juggle in the air.

You remember when we got news on the TV or the radio. We only had four channels. Remember how you had a TV with the rabbit ears, or a hangar with aluminum foil. You’d get four channels, CBS, ABC, NBC, and if you were lucky and you put the aluminum foil a certain way, you’d get PBS. And then, when you went out to your car, you’d get AM and you’d get FM. If you had a phone, you got one call at a time, and if someone tried to call you, and you were talking to someone else, they got a busy signal, and they’d just have to wait. There was no such thing as call forwarding or people with multiple lines. But today, the world is not so simple. There are so many more channels of information that bombard your brain at any time, it’s so, so overwhelming. It makes you feel that you’re driven, distractible, and have ADD.

There are literally thousands of channels and ways of getting information, either satellite radio or satellite TV. Then we have cable, iPods, cell phones, voice mail, we have so many different ways of getting information, that it’s no wonder that we are driven to distraction. However, most of us don’t have the typical ADD that people fling Ritalin at or Adderal at. You know, the type that’s distractible, inattentive, and impulsive – the kids who get the Ritalin thrown at them usually have problems paying attention to details. They can’t pay attention to the work for long periods of time. They don’t follow through with their homework. They’re disorganized. They don’t plan ahead. They lose things all over the place, and they’re hyperactive. They fidget in their chairs, they leave their seats, they’re always running around. They’re so driven. It’s easy to say, just throw Ritalin at that person. We’re going to learn how that particular type of brain may have problems paying attention in the classroom, learning in captivity, if you will, but that type of brain may be uniquely designed to be a satellite dish for intuition.

You my have trouble, in your forties, your fifties, or even later, paying attention in the world and you may feel that you have late onset ADD or early onset dementia, but that’s just not the case. There are four basic ways in which you can feel like you’re developing attention deficit disorder (ADD), and there are ways in which to solve those problems.

The first of four different ways of feeling that you’re losing your mind, you can’t pay attention and you can’t remember is if your hormones are a mess and your immune system is on the fritz. If you have chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, environmental illness, chronic infections like sinus infections, allergies, if you have rheumatoid arthritis or some other kind of joint problem, or if you are in some type of treatment for cancer like chemotherapy, when your immune system or your hormones are on the fritz, you are not going to be able to pay attention, and you’re going to think that you have ADD and you’re going to want your doctor to give you Ritalin and that would be a mistake.

The second type of distractibility is when your emotions are a mess or you’re panicked and frenzied. If you have depression, if you have anxiety, panic, it’s hard to pay attention because all of your circuits are focused on other emotions, and there are many people who think they have attention deficit disorder and they feel somewhat better initially on Adderal or Ritalin, but after a month or so, their brain is a fuzzball again.

The third type of attention where you think you have ADD is when your attention is elsewhere, something else is bothering you inside. All your attention circuits are busy, so you’re not going to be able to pay attention to the outer world in class or at work and you’re going to make mistakes, and you’re going to think you have ADD, and you’re going to want medicine for it, and once again, medicine will be a mistake.

The fourth type of attention deficit is when you have satellite dish intuition, and that is where your attention problems are really a form of intuition. Your attention may be focused intuitively on others, people who are in pain, agony, or suffering, so much that it’s almost like your bi-locating. Your brain is with someone else and it’s not present at your desk at work or at home with your partner. In this particular situation, someone might say to you, “Hello! Base to Ruth? Come in Ruth!” You might feel like you’re a space cadet or a space shot, and they might want to medicate you, but in fact, your problem is not ADD, you have a problem with intuition.

So, what do you do if you have these four problems? This morning I did a reading on John, 29, he called me for a reading said, “What do I do? I’m making so many mistakes at work.” When I read him, I saw that he was working in an organization that was horrendous. There were people over him that were very impatient. I didn’t even think it was the right company for him. When I went to John’s body, I looked at his head, it felt all red and inflamed. I looked at his neck, thyroid, heart, breasts, lungs, every area of his body, and I saw that his bowels were in an uproar and his skin was all red. And in fact, John had hives. He said, “Why am I making all these mistakes? Why can’t I pay attention, and why do I have these hives?” I said, “John, your intuitive guidance is telling you through your distractibility and your rash that this is not the right work for you. You need to look for a better organization where you feel safe and secure.” Because John had so much inflammation in his system, his mast cells and his immune system were releasing cytokines, cortisol, and norepinephrine. They were literally frying his brain apparatus for attention and preventing him from paying attention.

The second type of attention deficit disorder can be seen in Tina, 43. Tina called me for a reading and wanted me to tell her what her health was letting her know what about her life was out of balance. I said, “Tina, you had huge trauma in your life growing up. There was drama. There was violence, and in fact you feel like the issue of home is terrifying for you.” When I got to her body, I saw that her brain and body were responding to the trauma from the past, reverberating. I saw that her brain felt like a fuzzball. Her mind was always going on panic and the fritz. I looked at her chest, and it felt like she had pressure in her chest, it was hard to take a deep breath, and in times she felt numbness in her hands and her toes. And in fact, Tina told me that she had post-traumatic stress disorder and panic attacks, obsessive compulsive disorder, and she wanted to know if she had ADD as well. I said, “Tina, so many of your brain circuits are focused elsewhere due to the trauma that you had growing up (she told me that she was an orphan at age 12, both her mother and father were killed in an accident), that so much of her panic circuits were in the past, that not much attention could be focused on today, and so that medicating her for attention deficit disorder would be missing the boat completely, that she has to deal with the appropriate mode of treatment for her trauma, and then she would be able to pay attention to the present.

Whether your problem is with your horomones and immune system, emotions or you have satellite dish intuition where your intuition is going to loved ones or those around you who are in need, so you can’t pay attention to the present, because you’re paying attention to their lives as well, it is important to get in touch with how your distractibility is part of your intuitive guidance system. It is necessary to learn the earliest signs when your intuition and your attention is going somewhere else so that you can focus on the present. You will want to explore ways to prime and treat your immune system if that’s what’s causing you to be distractible, to prime your attention if your emotions are out of balance, and most importantly, to learn to recognize and use your intuitive guidance if that is causing you to be distractible so you can return your focus to the present.

Coaching and Mentoring: Are the Generations Expectations Different?

Coaching and Mentoring: Are the Generations Expectations Different?
Matt M. Starcevich, Ph.D.

(For individual usage only, not to be used in team building, organizational publications or training programs)

With people living longer and staying in the workplace longer, four generations are likely to find themselves working together. Popular literature suggests that ones generation makes a difference in work ethic, values and career expectations with a resulting potential for collision, conflict and confusion between the generations. One of the keys to effective coaching is recognizing that people are all different and not to ascribe my motives, values, and goals but to understand and adjust to these differences.

Our question: Are the coaching and mentoring expectations different, unique or similar across generations?
During the third quarter of 2007, one hundred and twenty-three people responded from the following accepted generation groups:

# of respondents Generation group Born between Estimated population size[i]
10 Traditionalists or Seniors 1920-1945 75 million (25% still in workforce)

42 Baby Boomers 1946-1964 80 million

38 Generation Xers 1965-1977 46 million

33 GenY, Millenials, GeNext 1977-2002 76 million

Forty nine percent were male and fifty-one percent female. Our hope is that these results will give some insight to the notions that the generations are different and not to suggest an impossible prototype for how to coach these millions of individuals.

Generalizations Made About Changing Expectations:

Work is not the most important thing.

The Now Generation (Xers and GenY) are often depicted as detached and uninvolved in work. Our data does not support this generalization.

When asked: I would describe myself as working to live versus living to work. On a 1-5 scale,with 1=Strongly Disagree and 5= Strongly Agree, average responses were:
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
4.10 3.69 3.84 3.64

Clearly the Seniors, as expected feel work is important. What is surprising is that the other three generations on average are approaching an agree score. One would have suspected much lower scores particularly from the GenY respondents, granted they are the lowest but still in the 3+ range.

Long term careers with one organization are a thing of the past.

Our respondents were not as emphatic.

How long do you plan on staying with your current organization?
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
– Less than one year 25% 19% 15.8% 18.2%
– At least the next 5 years 25% 47.6% 68.4% 57.6%
– Plan on staying my entire working life 50% 33.4% 15.8% 24.2%

With retirement approaching the Seniors responses are understandable. However, focusing on the other generations what is surprising is about half chose to respond at least the next 5 years. Economic and geo-political conditions might be contributing to a greater commitment to one organization than thought especially from our youngest generation. Granted roughly less than twenty percent didnt see spending more than one year with the current organization but half or more of the respondents, Now Generations (Xers and GenY) are willing to commit for at least the next 5 years, slightly more than the Boomers, and, almost a fourth of the GenY plan on staying my entire working life. This makes one wonder about the validity of this generalization especially for the GenY respondents to this survey. On a more positive note maybe organizations have changed to make staying for the long haul more attractive.

One career path is a thing of the past.

The Now Generation has been stereotyped as having temporary careers while keeping all options openeverything is transient. Our data does not support that there is a difference between generations when thinking about career paths.

Question: I would say that I am trying to build a portfolio of careers with many options versus developing in one career or career path. On a 1-5 scale with 1=Strongly Disagree and 5= Strongly Agree, responses were:
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
3.50 3.10 3.29 3.52

Keeping ones options open, developing career choices, and being willing to change careers is not the sole trait of any one generation. Interesting is that Seniors and GenY have a similar average score on this question. Downsizing, mergers, moving jobs off shore, global marketing has not fallen on deaf ears for all our respondents they get the message be flexible and adaptable in an ever changing world.

Job security has been replaced as the primary Performance Reward

Literature suggests that for Boomers the reward for hard work is money while the motivators for Xers are time with family and outside interests and GenY wants work that has meaning. Responses to two of our questions dont fully support these generalizations.

Which of the following is your strongest reward preference?

Seniors

Boomers

Xers

GenY
My income package: cash rewards, employee stock options plans, aggressive salary treatment, etc. 20% 23.8% 21.1% 24.2%
My career development: acquiring new skills, work in a job/project with better long-term career prospects, opportunity to attend professional training, etc. 30% 47.6% 55.3% 51.5%
My job satisfaction: more autonomy in work, opportunity to move to more preferred jobs/projects, etc. 50% 28.6% 23.7% 24.2%

A fairly constant percentage of the respondents still value My Income Package regardless of their generation. If we add the two categories, My Career Development and My Job Satisfaction the results indicate only a slight difference across all four generations. Boomers are supposed to be driven by money, title and recognition, Xers prefer time with family and outside interestnot according to these results. GenY wants work that has meaning, yes but they are no different than Boomers or Xers.

Which of these two choices best describes your Career Drivers or Career Aspirations?
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
Good pay: security of having a job for your entire working life; good retirement benefits; a job entailing a good social status; working for a stable or growing organization, being well rewarded for continuous service; and working regular hours 30% 47.6% 44.7% 27.3%
Rewards that are clearly linked to performance: an opportunity to learn new things and upgrade your skills; the opportunity to work abroad/travel; cooperative a supportive co-workers; progressive working conditions e.g., flex-time, job sharing; and the opportunity to use cutting edge technology and facilities 70% 52.4% 55.3% 72.7%

Although the Boomers and Xers want more pay and retirement stability, the majority of all the generations want performance based rewards and the opportunity to learn new things in a progressive work environment. Interesting that the Seniors and GenY are about equal in their preferences in this area.

This set of data does not support the gaps and differences that the popular literature would suggest for these two generalizations about differences in Performance Rewards between the generations.

Coaching and Mentoring Expectations and Relationships

Do the generations have different expectations for coaching and mentoring discussions?

During coaching discussions with your immediate manager would you prefer:
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
The focus be on improving your weaknesses 10% 54.8% 50% 66.7%
The focus be on improving your strengths 90% 45.2% 50% 33.3%

During mentoring discussions with your immediate manager would you prefer:
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
The focus be on improving your weaknesses 40% 53.7% 57.9% 54.5%
The focus be on improving your strengths 60% 46.3% 42.1% 45.5%

All generations except the Seniors slightly favor that both coaching and mentoring discussions focus on improving weaknesses. Seniors favor that both discussions focus on improving strengths. One explanation is that the Seniors have worked through out their entire career on training, growing and developmental plans:

*

their weaknesses may be few or unchangeable,
*

they want to building on strengths that have been converted from weaknesses or finding where their true niche strengths can best be used by organizations.

Are the Strengths and Weaknesses different in job performance and personal development discussions? An earlier study (http://coachingandmentoring.com/mentsurvey.htm ) suggests that the coach is job-focused while a mentor person is person focused. If this is true, the strengths and weaknesses discussed would be different in the coaching versus the mentoring interactions.

Is there a difference in the style of feedback preferred between the generations?

We are lead to believe that the Now Generation doesnt want one-on-one meetings but prefers instant messaging formats; our data does not support this generalization.

I would prefer that my coaching and mentoring discussions utilize the technology of text messaging, email or telephone conversations versus one-on-one meetings. The scale used for all the following questions: 1-5 with 1=Strongly Disagree and 5= Strongly Agree, all scores are averages for each generation group.
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
3.30 3.57 3.68 3.48

During a coaching or mentoring discussion I prefer bite sized pieces of information in a short and concise form versus long drawn out conversations.
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
2.20 2.50 2.45 2.76

High tech, low touch does not appear to be valued during coaching and mentoring discussions. There is slight to little difference between the generations, coaches and mentors need to continue with the high touch face time all generations require.

Is there a difference in the amount of feedback preferred between the generations?

The literature suggest that Seniors believe “No news is good news” Baby Boomers “Once a year, formal and documented is needed” Xers “Give me feedback all the time” and GenY “Electronic connection is fine by me.” Our data does not provide that clear of a distinction.

I would describe myself as requiring a lot of feedback, reinforcement, support and attention.
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
1.90 2.26 2.55 3.03

GenY is supposed to require the least support but they have the highest average score: a 3 is an uncertain score, whereas Seniors disagree. More interesting than the generational differences is the similarity in the low levels of all the scores, maybe they are saying, treat us as adults, let us do our thing, help when needed but dont micro manage, or do all generation desire to be their own boss.

Is there a difference in type of training solutions preferred between the generations?

In our internet, distant learning world one would believe that there is a shift from formal training courses to quick learning events; our data does not support this generalization.

If with my coach or mentor we develop a training solution I would prefer this to be quick learning events versus a training course that occurs over a number of days.
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
2.09 3.07 3.45 3.09

A 3 was an uncertain choice, which could be interpreted as it depends.” Even with this qualification we expected more agreement especially from the GenY generation, which have been called the Digital Generation.” An alternative interpretation is that training remains a personal event where face-to-face interaction with others is valued. Your choice, but the data does not give a resounding vote for distant or internet based learning as a preference.

Is there a difference in type of coaching or mentoring information discussed between the generations?

We are lead to believe that the Now Generation has less identification with their organization – a more me generation so appealing to loyalty and institutional goals and values are irrelevant; our data does not support this generalization.

During our coaching or mentoring discussion I need to know whats fair and makes sense: e.g., why should I do something, why does it matter and why should I care, etc.
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
3.80 3.67 4.03 3.33

During our coaching or mentoring discussion I need to know whats relevant: e.g., whats meaningful and critical, the reason behind the direction or policy, the big picture, etc.
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
4.60 4.29 4.37 4.0

During our coaching or mentoring discussion I need to know that the objectives and goals are clear and appropriate.
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
4.60 4.38 4.45 4.09

During our coaching or mentoring discussion I need to see how the feedback I receive from my manager, mentor, peers, or customers is tied to direct benefits for me.
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
3.70 3.69 3.58 3.55

Big picture: there are only slight differences between what the generations want during a coaching or mentoring discussion, in one voice they are saying:

* Why, whats fair and makes sense

* Whats relevant, the big picture

* Clear objectives and goals

* Whats in it for me

How the context these are related to may be different, but the need is the same, knowing the uniqueness of each individual will help the coach or mentor best determine how to operationalize these wants during their discussions. The important conclusion here is that there appears to be little differences between the generations; organizational goals, loyalty and values are important to all.

Summary

The responses clearly call into question the current stereotypes of generational differences being propagated by the popular press. For the questions asked here there is more agreement than disagreement in their view towards work, careers, coaching and mentoring discussions. This represents a first step at defining what each generations preferences are but does not shed light on how these are different in actual practice. E.g., Verbalizing that I desire a lot of feedback, reinforcement, support and attention does not describe how each generation interprets what this specifically means.

As any good coach or mentor will say, it depends on the individual. For us, the bottom line is that stereotypes about millions of people in a given generation are misleading. What counts is do you, as a coach or mentor, make the personal contact and discussion time to fully understand the uniqueness of the other person regardless of their generation?

Three responses reinforce this anti-stereotyping of the generations:

Additional comments or thoughts that would help us better understand what is unique about coaching and mentoring your age group.

People are unique not numbers or ages (Senior)

There is a universal need to be understood and heard (Xer)

I need to truly connect with the coach or mentor on a personal level (GenY)

[1] Lynne C. Lancaster, When Generations Collide: How to Solve the Generational Puzzle at Work. Management Forum Series, March 17, 2004, Synopsis by Rod Cox.

The Midlife Transition- looking back – to be a Kid Again

Oh, to Be a Kid Again

Decisions were made by saying “eeny-meeny-miney-mo.”

Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, “Do over!”

“Race issue,” meant arguing about who ran the fastest.

Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in “Monopoly.”

Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening.

It wasn’t odd to have two or three “best” friends.

Being old referred to anyone over 20.

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.

It was magic when Dad would “remove” his thumb.

It was unbelievable that dodge ball wasn’t an Olympic event.

Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot.

Nobody was prettier than Mom.

Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.

It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the “big people” rides at the amusement park.

Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.

Abilities were discovered because of a “double-dog-dare.”

Saturday morning cartoons weren’t 30-minute ads for action figures.

No shopping trip was complete unless a new toy was brought home.

“Oly-oly-oxen-free” made perfect sense.

Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down would cause giggles.

The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.

War was a card game.

Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.

Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.

Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin.

Ice cream was considered a basic food group.

Older siblings were the worst tormentors but also the fiercest protectors.

A Guide for Midlife: Navigating the Six Universal Crises

Midlife will occur differently to everyone but you now have the opportunity to change what can be a crisis into a more complete and purposeful life, says a new book, A Guide for Midlife – Navigating the Six Universal Crises, written by McKenzie Magee.

“It is important to understand what a midlife crisis has to offer,” says Magee. The author has a unique approach on how to meet the challenges of surviving and thriving in your 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s.

Magee’s book offers valuable advice from her own midlife crisis and the personal experiences of others. She calls upon science, psychology, astrology, and spirituality in order to Continue reading “A Guide for Midlife: Navigating the Six Universal Crises”