Dr. Toni
2010: The Destination of Your Dreams by Debbie Ford
It’s so easy to make promises about the year ahead. You will follow your diet, be more financially responsible, be kinder to your spouse, spend more time at the gym…But, for most, the promises you make today will be empty dreams six months from now. So let’s examine this. I would suggest this happens because real change doesn’t occur when you just want something or wish for another reality. Real change happens when you feel genuinely inspired, turned on by possibility and unwilling to settle for anything less. It happens when you commit with all of yourself to a new way of life, to a new future. So how do you do this?
To feel inspired and lit up and to make room for optimism, enthusiasm, and lasting change, you must lighten your emotional load by addressing your past issues, your emotional blocks, your negative beliefs, your feelings of unworthiness and any infantile desires that drive you to repeatedly head off in a direction counter to your dreams. If you drop your commitments, it is not because you want to be seen as a quitter or a loser but because unconsciously you are more committed to an outdated self — an old identity that feels comfortable and safe even though it might have stopped serving you years ago. Often, psychological laziness will have you switch your life over to autopilot and fall asleep at the wheel rather than stay awake to what will fulfill your heart’s deepest desires and your soul’s purpose.
On this eve of a new year, a very fertile time to look over your past and commit to a new future, you can ask these simple questions to unload some old baggage and steer your life in the direction of a brilliant and thrilling future — the ride of your life.
1. What are your deepest desires for this new year?
2. What are you willing to give up to get them? What habits, limiting beliefs, unhealthy relationships or situations?
3. When did you become unwilling to do whatever it takes to have what you want?
4. What cravings or unmet needs will drive you away from your desired destination?
5. What structure of support will you need to ensure this new future?
6. Who could you count on to be your co-pilot to ensure that you will neither fall short of the runway nor overshoot your desired outcome? Who will help you stay awake?
If you wish to fly to new heights, begin by setting your sights on a destination you can reach and then create a flight plan, a map that will be your guide. And if at any time you don’t feel like following your flight path, stop, take a deep breath, call forth your vision for your future, then pick up your phone, dial your co-pilot and ask them to remind you that veering off your route really isn’t worth the pain of repeating the past. Veering off will only leave you in the same repetitive pattern of wanting, wishing, fantasizing, and then feeling intensely disappointed when you land at a destination other than the phenomenal future that awaits you.
So today, YOU have the power to choose the destination of your dreams, create a flight plan and stick to it. So gather your courage, your strength and your commitment and get onboard, making 2010 the most inspiring year of your life.
With love and blessings,
Midlife Transition: Getting Clear On Your Passion
Getting Clear On Your Passion
If you’re clear on your passions, then you’re just about ready to walk The Path.
But what if you’re NOT clear?
What if you’re one of the many people I meet who feels completely disconnected from their sense of Passion? What if when asked to describe your “ideal life” or “vision”, you don’t even know where to begin?
First, you need to know that this “disconnect” from your sense of passion is simply another form of resistance.
Many times, we stop putting attention on our passions early in life when our more traditional system of education and upbringing tends to put a child down a path on which the child has no real input.
If what you have learned about your passions are that they are “okay for a hobby but not a way to make a real living” or something similar, then it is no wonder that have disconnected yourself from your feelings of passion. It would be too painful to live with a sense of yearning to do something you believe you cannot do, so you create a story that you “don’t know what your passions are.”
I’m not saying that you do this intentionally, because I don’t believe you do. It’s simply a kind of emotional defense mechanism. If you believe that you don’t know your passions, then you don’t have to take responsibility for not living them. “If only I knew my passions”, you might say, “I could put this Law of Attraction stuff to work in my life and things could change.” But in saying that, you affirm to yourself that you DON’T know your passions, and that story becomes more and more real to you until you truly believe that you don’t have anything in your life that you’re passionate about.
Instead of feeling “bad”, you have chosen to feel “numb.”
Clearly, there is no real power in feeling numb. You can’t attract anything with numb, except more numb. And too many people are going through life numb to their sense of passion, robbing themselves and others of the gift that they are to the world.
This idea that you don’t know your passion, while it feels real right now, is an idea that you need to be willing to give up if you want to move into a fully satisfying life. We’re here to live our passions, so let’s not waste another minute not doing that!
Here are a few things to think about to help you tap into a lost sense of passion:
1. What do you daydream about? When your mind “goes off”, there’s a reason it goes where it goes. Many times our daydreams are our subconscious giving us a taste of what could be.
2. What would you do all day if you could do ANYTHING and money were not an issue for you at all? This is a very common question used to help people tap into their passions, because if you can truly generate the feeling of being freed up financially, you clear the way for yourself to think about what you’d TRULY like to do. But if you think about all this in terms of “will it make me money”, you are cheating yourself.
You must not judge your passions on your beliefs regarding their money-making potential. Walking The Path takes care of that as we’ll discuss more in Part 2, “The Journey.”
I’ll note that the answer to this question for many people is “Nothing! I would just do nothing all day.” And that is a totally fair answer, and I invite anyone with that response to do a lot of visualization around a day filled with doing nothing, and see how those visions naturally evolve. They’ll lead you to your passion…
3. What or who inspires you? If you can’t immediately access your own sense of Passion, or put a label on it, I invite you to think about what or who in the world inspires you…and why.
You can learn a lot about yourself by looking at how you interpret people and situations. If someone inspires you because of what they’re up to in the world, could that tell you more than a little something about what YOU might want to be up to in the world?
If you’re inspired by some kind of creative expression like art, music, film, or theater, what exactly about the experience is inspiring you? Just because you’re inspired by art, for example, doesn’t mean that you have a destiny as an artist, however.
Things that inspire us aren’t always the thing we’re supposed to be or do. However, anything that evokes inspiration in us, opens a portal to the essence of who we are.
Next time you feel inspired by anything or anyone, it may be an interesting exercise to ask yourself why you’re inspired. What part of yourself is being activated in this moment? What action – however large or small – do you feel called to take?
There are entire courses available to help you discover your sense of passion, but I believe that these few questions – if honestly answered – will give you very deep insight into what you’re about.
by Bob Doyle
