Coaching and Mentoring: Are the Generations Expectations Different?

Coaching and Mentoring: Are the Generations Expectations Different?
Matt M. Starcevich, Ph.D.

(For individual usage only, not to be used in team building, organizational publications or training programs)

With people living longer and staying in the workplace longer, four generations are likely to find themselves working together. Popular literature suggests that ones generation makes a difference in work ethic, values and career expectations with a resulting potential for collision, conflict and confusion between the generations. One of the keys to effective coaching is recognizing that people are all different and not to ascribe my motives, values, and goals but to understand and adjust to these differences.

Our question: Are the coaching and mentoring expectations different, unique or similar across generations?
During the third quarter of 2007, one hundred and twenty-three people responded from the following accepted generation groups:

# of respondents Generation group Born between Estimated population size[i]
10 Traditionalists or Seniors 1920-1945 75 million (25% still in workforce)

42 Baby Boomers 1946-1964 80 million

38 Generation Xers 1965-1977 46 million

33 GenY, Millenials, GeNext 1977-2002 76 million

Forty nine percent were male and fifty-one percent female. Our hope is that these results will give some insight to the notions that the generations are different and not to suggest an impossible prototype for how to coach these millions of individuals.

Generalizations Made About Changing Expectations:

Work is not the most important thing.

The Now Generation (Xers and GenY) are often depicted as detached and uninvolved in work. Our data does not support this generalization.

When asked: I would describe myself as working to live versus living to work. On a 1-5 scale,with 1=Strongly Disagree and 5= Strongly Agree, average responses were:
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
4.10 3.69 3.84 3.64

Clearly the Seniors, as expected feel work is important. What is surprising is that the other three generations on average are approaching an agree score. One would have suspected much lower scores particularly from the GenY respondents, granted they are the lowest but still in the 3+ range.

Long term careers with one organization are a thing of the past.

Our respondents were not as emphatic.

How long do you plan on staying with your current organization?
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
– Less than one year 25% 19% 15.8% 18.2%
– At least the next 5 years 25% 47.6% 68.4% 57.6%
– Plan on staying my entire working life 50% 33.4% 15.8% 24.2%

With retirement approaching the Seniors responses are understandable. However, focusing on the other generations what is surprising is about half chose to respond at least the next 5 years. Economic and geo-political conditions might be contributing to a greater commitment to one organization than thought especially from our youngest generation. Granted roughly less than twenty percent didnt see spending more than one year with the current organization but half or more of the respondents, Now Generations (Xers and GenY) are willing to commit for at least the next 5 years, slightly more than the Boomers, and, almost a fourth of the GenY plan on staying my entire working life. This makes one wonder about the validity of this generalization especially for the GenY respondents to this survey. On a more positive note maybe organizations have changed to make staying for the long haul more attractive.

One career path is a thing of the past.

The Now Generation has been stereotyped as having temporary careers while keeping all options openeverything is transient. Our data does not support that there is a difference between generations when thinking about career paths.

Question: I would say that I am trying to build a portfolio of careers with many options versus developing in one career or career path. On a 1-5 scale with 1=Strongly Disagree and 5= Strongly Agree, responses were:
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
3.50 3.10 3.29 3.52

Keeping ones options open, developing career choices, and being willing to change careers is not the sole trait of any one generation. Interesting is that Seniors and GenY have a similar average score on this question. Downsizing, mergers, moving jobs off shore, global marketing has not fallen on deaf ears for all our respondents they get the message be flexible and adaptable in an ever changing world.

Job security has been replaced as the primary Performance Reward

Literature suggests that for Boomers the reward for hard work is money while the motivators for Xers are time with family and outside interests and GenY wants work that has meaning. Responses to two of our questions dont fully support these generalizations.

Which of the following is your strongest reward preference?

Seniors

Boomers

Xers

GenY
My income package: cash rewards, employee stock options plans, aggressive salary treatment, etc. 20% 23.8% 21.1% 24.2%
My career development: acquiring new skills, work in a job/project with better long-term career prospects, opportunity to attend professional training, etc. 30% 47.6% 55.3% 51.5%
My job satisfaction: more autonomy in work, opportunity to move to more preferred jobs/projects, etc. 50% 28.6% 23.7% 24.2%

A fairly constant percentage of the respondents still value My Income Package regardless of their generation. If we add the two categories, My Career Development and My Job Satisfaction the results indicate only a slight difference across all four generations. Boomers are supposed to be driven by money, title and recognition, Xers prefer time with family and outside interestnot according to these results. GenY wants work that has meaning, yes but they are no different than Boomers or Xers.

Which of these two choices best describes your Career Drivers or Career Aspirations?
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
Good pay: security of having a job for your entire working life; good retirement benefits; a job entailing a good social status; working for a stable or growing organization, being well rewarded for continuous service; and working regular hours 30% 47.6% 44.7% 27.3%
Rewards that are clearly linked to performance: an opportunity to learn new things and upgrade your skills; the opportunity to work abroad/travel; cooperative a supportive co-workers; progressive working conditions e.g., flex-time, job sharing; and the opportunity to use cutting edge technology and facilities 70% 52.4% 55.3% 72.7%

Although the Boomers and Xers want more pay and retirement stability, the majority of all the generations want performance based rewards and the opportunity to learn new things in a progressive work environment. Interesting that the Seniors and GenY are about equal in their preferences in this area.

This set of data does not support the gaps and differences that the popular literature would suggest for these two generalizations about differences in Performance Rewards between the generations.

Coaching and Mentoring Expectations and Relationships

Do the generations have different expectations for coaching and mentoring discussions?

During coaching discussions with your immediate manager would you prefer:
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
The focus be on improving your weaknesses 10% 54.8% 50% 66.7%
The focus be on improving your strengths 90% 45.2% 50% 33.3%

During mentoring discussions with your immediate manager would you prefer:
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
The focus be on improving your weaknesses 40% 53.7% 57.9% 54.5%
The focus be on improving your strengths 60% 46.3% 42.1% 45.5%

All generations except the Seniors slightly favor that both coaching and mentoring discussions focus on improving weaknesses. Seniors favor that both discussions focus on improving strengths. One explanation is that the Seniors have worked through out their entire career on training, growing and developmental plans:

*

their weaknesses may be few or unchangeable,
*

they want to building on strengths that have been converted from weaknesses or finding where their true niche strengths can best be used by organizations.

Are the Strengths and Weaknesses different in job performance and personal development discussions? An earlier study (http://coachingandmentoring.com/mentsurvey.htm ) suggests that the coach is job-focused while a mentor person is person focused. If this is true, the strengths and weaknesses discussed would be different in the coaching versus the mentoring interactions.

Is there a difference in the style of feedback preferred between the generations?

We are lead to believe that the Now Generation doesnt want one-on-one meetings but prefers instant messaging formats; our data does not support this generalization.

I would prefer that my coaching and mentoring discussions utilize the technology of text messaging, email or telephone conversations versus one-on-one meetings. The scale used for all the following questions: 1-5 with 1=Strongly Disagree and 5= Strongly Agree, all scores are averages for each generation group.
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
3.30 3.57 3.68 3.48

During a coaching or mentoring discussion I prefer bite sized pieces of information in a short and concise form versus long drawn out conversations.
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
2.20 2.50 2.45 2.76

High tech, low touch does not appear to be valued during coaching and mentoring discussions. There is slight to little difference between the generations, coaches and mentors need to continue with the high touch face time all generations require.

Is there a difference in the amount of feedback preferred between the generations?

The literature suggest that Seniors believe “No news is good news” Baby Boomers “Once a year, formal and documented is needed” Xers “Give me feedback all the time” and GenY “Electronic connection is fine by me.” Our data does not provide that clear of a distinction.

I would describe myself as requiring a lot of feedback, reinforcement, support and attention.
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
1.90 2.26 2.55 3.03

GenY is supposed to require the least support but they have the highest average score: a 3 is an uncertain score, whereas Seniors disagree. More interesting than the generational differences is the similarity in the low levels of all the scores, maybe they are saying, treat us as adults, let us do our thing, help when needed but dont micro manage, or do all generation desire to be their own boss.

Is there a difference in type of training solutions preferred between the generations?

In our internet, distant learning world one would believe that there is a shift from formal training courses to quick learning events; our data does not support this generalization.

If with my coach or mentor we develop a training solution I would prefer this to be quick learning events versus a training course that occurs over a number of days.
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
2.09 3.07 3.45 3.09

A 3 was an uncertain choice, which could be interpreted as it depends.” Even with this qualification we expected more agreement especially from the GenY generation, which have been called the Digital Generation.” An alternative interpretation is that training remains a personal event where face-to-face interaction with others is valued. Your choice, but the data does not give a resounding vote for distant or internet based learning as a preference.

Is there a difference in type of coaching or mentoring information discussed between the generations?

We are lead to believe that the Now Generation has less identification with their organization – a more me generation so appealing to loyalty and institutional goals and values are irrelevant; our data does not support this generalization.

During our coaching or mentoring discussion I need to know whats fair and makes sense: e.g., why should I do something, why does it matter and why should I care, etc.
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
3.80 3.67 4.03 3.33

During our coaching or mentoring discussion I need to know whats relevant: e.g., whats meaningful and critical, the reason behind the direction or policy, the big picture, etc.
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
4.60 4.29 4.37 4.0

During our coaching or mentoring discussion I need to know that the objectives and goals are clear and appropriate.
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
4.60 4.38 4.45 4.09

During our coaching or mentoring discussion I need to see how the feedback I receive from my manager, mentor, peers, or customers is tied to direct benefits for me.
Seniors Boomers Xers GenY
3.70 3.69 3.58 3.55

Big picture: there are only slight differences between what the generations want during a coaching or mentoring discussion, in one voice they are saying:

* Why, whats fair and makes sense

* Whats relevant, the big picture

* Clear objectives and goals

* Whats in it for me

How the context these are related to may be different, but the need is the same, knowing the uniqueness of each individual will help the coach or mentor best determine how to operationalize these wants during their discussions. The important conclusion here is that there appears to be little differences between the generations; organizational goals, loyalty and values are important to all.

Summary

The responses clearly call into question the current stereotypes of generational differences being propagated by the popular press. For the questions asked here there is more agreement than disagreement in their view towards work, careers, coaching and mentoring discussions. This represents a first step at defining what each generations preferences are but does not shed light on how these are different in actual practice. E.g., Verbalizing that I desire a lot of feedback, reinforcement, support and attention does not describe how each generation interprets what this specifically means.

As any good coach or mentor will say, it depends on the individual. For us, the bottom line is that stereotypes about millions of people in a given generation are misleading. What counts is do you, as a coach or mentor, make the personal contact and discussion time to fully understand the uniqueness of the other person regardless of their generation?

Three responses reinforce this anti-stereotyping of the generations:

Additional comments or thoughts that would help us better understand what is unique about coaching and mentoring your age group.

People are unique not numbers or ages (Senior)

There is a universal need to be understood and heard (Xer)

I need to truly connect with the coach or mentor on a personal level (GenY)

[1] Lynne C. Lancaster, When Generations Collide: How to Solve the Generational Puzzle at Work. Management Forum Series, March 17, 2004, Synopsis by Rod Cox.

A Gratitude Healing

The beautiful gifts of gratitude begin at home
so today, invite a healing to happen
in your own body,
in your own consciousness,
in your own loving heart
that feels blessed to be alive.

Notice all the riches you’ve been given:
the feet that allow you to stand,
the legs that allow you to walk,
the stomach that allows you to eat,
the lungs that allow you to breathe,
the throat that allows you to speak,
the mouth that allow you to taste,
the nose that allows you to smell,
the eyes that allow you to see,
and your beating heart
that allows you to love.
Honor them all.

Become present to the treasures of your life:
the opportunities that you have been given,
the ones that have effortlessly opened up for you this year.
Reflect on your family, your kids, your partner, your friends.
Look through appreciative eyes,
the eyes of what’s right,
the eyes of the divine.
Give thanks in a way that you never have before.

Allow fear, doubt, struggle and pain
to melt away in the presence of this all-loving appreciation.
Thank God that you have a consciousness
that is able to shift and transform in just a moment.
Thank God that you are courageous enough
to take a moment to bless yourself,
to bless the universe,
to bless all those who love and guide you,
and then to bless all of the world,

Send your tears of love and gratitude
to those who are in pain,
to those who are alone,
to those who are confused.
Allow the heavenly vibration of gratitude
to puncture their fearful illusions
and open up their hearts to what is truly divine.

Today, take this vow of deep self-love and gratitude,
knowing that when you are in the presence of this kind of love,
you – as well as all of those around you – will flourish.
Take five slow deep breaths, breathing in
love, appreciation, gratitude and joy.
Know that you are never alone and you will never be alone.
We are all here surrounding you with love.

-from Debbie Ford

From Judith and Jim – The Price of Gratitude

THE PRICE OF GRATITUDE
Judith Sherven, PhD and Jim Sniechowski, PhD

Long before we get to the table laden with turkey,
cranberry sauce and over-sweet yams, we are
face-to-face with the challenge of gratitude all
month long. For most of the year we can duck and
dodge the pressures of thankfulness, and most
people do – openly admitting to having a terrible
time accepting compliments, much less the larger
implications of being truly loved.

So the questions must be asked: Why do we have
such a difficult and sometimes painful time
receiving the blessings of other people’s affection,
admiration and sincere love? What is so powerful
that it so often fiercely defends against the
uptake of that which would transform our insecurities,
reduce our anxieties, and feed our comfort and
creativity in the world? What makes us work so
tenaciously to play ourselves down, fighting off
the praise that knocks so loudly at our door?

What is so powerful that often we don’t even hear
the knocking as a joyous visitor – but rather
as a rude intruder?

The fact is we live in prozac land, a world in
which putting one another down is considered funny,
punishing children’s spirited relationship with
life is commonplace and the resulting wide spread
depression is written off as biochemical. Or is it?

Maybe we are so blind to the forces that squash
the life out of us – the brilliant, the exuberant,
the spiritually dazzling — that we can’t even
begin to question why we are so allergic to compliments,
why our divorce rate keeps exposing how difficult
it is to be loved and loving. Maybe it’s long overdue
for each of us to embark on an individual campaign
to be recognized and respected and valued for our
unique gifts and talents. Not as an exercise in narcissism,
but as an exercise in receiving and then experiencing
and expressing sincere gratitude.

But then, notice, we will have to give up our “safe”
invisibility, our false modesty and most of all our
loggy depression that protects us from being truly alive.

For when we allow someone’s praise and love to truly
fertilize our soul, we feel more and more of the life force
awakening within. We become less and less able to stay remote,
vaguely unhappy with life but unwilling to do anything about it.

When we receive and feel gratitude, we want the whole
world to feel the same way. We surrender our isolation.
We come out of our shells. We reach back to embrace the one
who graced us with their spiritual generosity.

And in so doing, we are changed, transformed, made more (w)holy.

But all of this liveliness comes with a price. We must leave
the outer shell of false humility behind. When we do, we become
exquisitely aware of anyone who speaks negatively about our value,
placing ourselves in the situation of having to do something
about it or not. And we must shed those who cannot
accept the magnificence that each and every one of us is.

This Thanksgiving give yourself the gift of your own unique
value and vow to never again allow another to put you down,
to mock you, to in any way block your light!

And, at the same time, make a commitment to practice
saying “Thank You!” from the bottom of your heart each and every
time you are graced by another’s positive recognition
of who you are.

We wish you a Happy Wish Bone and the very best Thanksgiving
you’ve ever had!

Great Advice for the Midlife Transition

Incubating the Next Phase of the Awakening Journey By DL Zeta
(I think all this equally applies to the Midlife Transition…)

We offer here some steps to help navigate this time of incubation and discovery.

1) See yourself in the eyes of your higher self. Witness your imperfections and weaknesses from a place of love and understanding. As your higher self, you’re able to nurture the smaller parts of your being much as you would a young child. The conscious aspects of your being are children in relation to the ancient wisdom and knowledge of your soul and higher self.

2) Examine all that you own in terms of what serves your highest good and what can be passed on to others. Releasing material possessions you no longer need triggers releases at other levels.

3) Consider what obligations and duties you have taken on that can now be released for the highest good of all. As you move on to new levels of service, it will be necessary to re-examine your current commitments to make sure you are using your time and abilities to serve the greater good. If you leave one area of service for a new one, spirit will call another soul to fill the spot you previously occupied.

4) Free yourself of the need to have an opinion of others or the need to attempt to change the opinions of others. Each being, yourself included, is having the experiences they need within the moment in order to learn and grow. It is enough to witness and observe your environment with the light of an awakened consciousness. In this way, you’re able to see yourself and others from a place of love and understanding without the need to change, interfere or judge.

5) Be willing to undertake service when it is asked of you. Many are being asked now to serve in ways they may find surprising and unexpected. Many will find themselves called to forms of service that allow them to heal ancient wounds or to complete needed understandings. At times it may seem you have taken a step backward but keep in mind neither healing nor growth is linear. Your conscious mind will not always understand the need to complete a course of learning begun centuries ago.

5) Practice sustainability in all that you do. Cultivate a “put into” rather than a “take away from” attitude. In other words, add to every situation you encounter rather than subtract from it. In this way, you become a positive force in the universe. One physical manifestation of this might be your finances. Are you saving or depleting funds? It might be considered in terms of your health. Are you building yourself up in terms of health and strength or are you constantly burning the candle at both ends? Ask yourself, “What am I creating within this moment?” What you are creating with your choices moment by moment will become your future. Sustainable choices lead to an empowered rather than an impoverished future.

6) Be willing to see yourself as a wise and infinite being without need for recognition or aggrandizement. If you are feeling the need for recognition at this time, consider ways you may not be acknowledging and appreciating yourself. As you enter deeper levels of gratitude and self-love, you feel less need for outer recognition.

7) Listen closely to the needs of your body during this time. There is a need now to eat lighter and observe any addictions you may have to food, drink or other substances. Addictions are adopted at times when you feel yourself unable to cope with life circumstances. These crutches are like training wheels you no longer need as you move into greater levels of awakening. When you release addictive habits, you learn to use the wings of your higher consciousness to soar above what you previously thought was possible. Your physical body is attempting to transform itself to align with the energies of higher frequencies being downloaded into your consciousness. Whatever you put into your physical system at this time will determine the shape of your future manifestations. Health or disease is manifesting more quickly than ever before. Rapid healing and transformation is happening at a rapid rate now and likewise, so is
deterioration and decay.

8) Enter deeper and deeper realms of silence. Many have become accustomed to the constant background noise in their environment and even the incessant chatter of their own mind. Without the noise, some feel lost and even frightened. Be willing to sit with the stillness and quiet of your inner being. Start with only a few minutes per day if necessary and gradually allow yourself to enter longer and longer periods of silence. When you sit still and listen within, you gain awareness of the vast, infinite expanse of your soul. Within this infinite expanse, all is possible.

9) If you are seeking to manifest abundance, a relationship, a new career or anything else, be willing to enter a place of inner stillness and align with the energies you find there. Whatever you feel guided to manifest into your physical reality already exists within your consciousness. Invite the part of you that holds this frequency of your intended manifestation to come forward and inform your actions, thoughts and feelings in coming days and weeks. Whatever you may seek to create, there is a part of your consciousness able to come forward to teach you the steps to bring it into your physical reality. Be sure to hold in awareness how this intended manifestation is aligned with your spiritual purpose.

10) Cultivate patience. In this world, there is a mindset of needing everything to occur within an expected timeframe. The need for instant gratification is an offshoot of scarcity consciousness. It is saying to your subconscious that you don’t trust the universe to bring you what you need with divine timing. Inside this mindset, life flow becomes forced and unnaturally bound by ego constraints. Allow your intended manifestations to happen in divine timing and keep in mind that the quantum change which is taking place within many now often takes longer to assimilate than smaller, less pervasive changes.

11) Notice what you notice. Whatever catches your attention, whatever you feel drawn to has a special meaning and significance for you. Hold those things you are drawn to in awareness and allow them to speak to you. The messages being downloaded now have to do with the role each person will play in the new times ahead.

12) Befriend your fears. Whatever you fear most will come front and center now. Create a safe space within yourself where you can sit with whatever shows up in your life. Inside this space, you can ask for divine guidance and understanding. Ask for love and patience and whatever else is needed within the moment. This space will become ever more important in the days and weeks to come as a safe refuge and incubation chamber for your continued transformation. From this inner chamber, you will emerge with the grace and beauty of a butterfly to inspire and assist the unfolding of human consciousness.

For more information, visit http://www.celestialvision.org