Celebrities Aging Gracefully

I just finished watching “The Iron Lady” with the magnificent Meryl Streep. What an amazing model of how to age gracefully.  It got me thinking about other celebs who have been in the limelight lately and I thought I’d share some of them here with you.  Add your own favorites please.

Thank God that not every celeb succumbs to the prevailing “pro-youth” pressures. The music and entertainment businesses can, in fact, be excellent places to look for examples of men and women who are reaching out and embarassing the aging process with enthusiasm and grace.

Consider:

Helen Mirren

Modesty and a healthy dose of humor are keys to Mirren aging so gracefully. When a gym  gave her Body of the Year, she told the women of The View that she just sucked in her stomach.

“It was a beautiful thing that these fitness people did, I have to say,” she said. “I think it was recognition of the fact that you don’t have to be perfect.”

 

And then there is Lauren Becall

The iconic actress, who is in her late 80s, has been honest about some of the physical challenges of aging, but is notable for her continued zest for work and for her craft.

In her book By Myself and Then Some, Bacall writes: “The need to work remains — movies, theatre, TV — I don’t care really. As long as it’s good — interesting — new — I love new — it will take me out of myself and into someone else. Always a pleasure.”

 

And weighing in for the males:
George Clooney

The actor, who is 50,told Parade that he emulates actors like Paul Newman, who he thinks “handled growing old onscreen” well.

“I find that as you get older, you start to simplify things in general,” he told that publication. “By the time you get a subscription to AARP, which I just got, you have some idea of who your friends are, at least.”

 

Redefining Beauty at Any Age

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I’m excited to share this with you. The video is expressing my vision – to change the way the world looks at midlife and aging. This is a great start – Thanks MAC cosmetics (The glitter I wear on my eyes comes from them!)

We’ve all been given the message that once you hit 40, you are ‘over the hill’ – and there’s still a lot of agism that exists in our world. Most of the magazines show you how to look younger. Even doctors are calling themselves ‘anti-aging.’  I don’t know about you, but I’m not anti-aging. I’m all for it – and especially for the wisdom and grace that comes not only as you age, but also in the aging process itself.  Let’s hear what you think about this video and about the celebration of aging. Please comment below.

women in ads

TODAY

When M.A.C. Cosmetics used 90-year-old Iris Apfel to promote its January collection, the makeup sold out in a few days. Media mogul Donny Deutsh and author Valerie Ramsey discuss why companies are celebrating “real” women in ads.

>>> have heard it before. 60 is the new 50, 50 is the new 40. here’s an idea. what if finally, 60 is the new 60? amy robach is here to explain. good morning.

>> good morning. we live in a society that put as premium on youth and beauty . it may be changing to something more realistic with women saying they only want to look like one person — themselves. beauty may be only skin deep but we have always loved showing it off. the quest for youth has almost become a national past time. but have we finally said enough is enough and are hollywood and madison avenue finally listening?

>> we have had an insane love affair with youth. youth is beautiful and wonderful. but there’s lots more. life doesn’t stop when you’re 30.

>> reporter: or when you’re in your 90s. that’s right. iris apfel is the new face of m.a.c. cosmetics, an overnight sensation , 90 years in the making.

>> do you think women in america are tired of being represented by ridiculously young women ?

>> well, i hope they are. if they’re not it’s their own fault.

>> reporter: m.a.c. chose iris as a response to customers looking for real representation .

>> for m.a.c. to use a 90-year-old woman says we are not afraid of saying a woman at any age can be really, really beautiful.

>> reporter: and they are not alone. cosmetic companies are turning to older women who are redefining beauty like 54-year-old cover girl ellen degeneres .

>> some models look so mad.

>> reporter: or diane keaton , a beauty icon at 66.

>> my skin’s pretty amazing. you know what? we’re worth it.

>> reporter: magazines are seeing the worth as well. news stands are seeing a boom in baby boomers on the cover. in january, vogue chose meryl streep , at 62, their oldest cover girl in the history of the magazine.

>> i think the media is finally beginning to get it right. but it didn’t happen overnight.

>> reporter: psychologist vivian diller says they have been reacting to the baby boomer ‘s movement through middle age .

>> we saw things changing when beauty became homogenized and women said they don’t want to look like over lly puffed up frozen faces.

>> reporter: it’s not just advertiser. hollywood is seeing a movement toward the authenticity of aging.

>> now we are seeing beauty that’s more appropriate for one’s age. they are not trying to look younger. they’re trying to look the best they can for their age.

>> reporter: even if that means embracing a wrinkle or two.

>> i think it’s pitiful that people lie about their age. what’s wrong with getting older? if you’re lucky enough to get old you should celebrate it.

>> reporter: maybe you, too, could be a beauty icon at 90.

>> m.a.c.’s iris apfel collection hit stores in january and sold out in days. hopefully iris is inspiring women all over the world to be their own beauty icon. ann?

>> valerie ramsey is 72 years old and a model and the author of “gracefully, looking and being your best at any age.” donny deutsch is the chairman of the advertising company deutsch inc. good morning.

>> good morning.

>> is there a reason to understand why madison avenue made the change? is it a trend?

>> it is. it’s a fantastic trend. there is a huge bubble, men and women , moving through the population, the boomers. they have all the money. we are the most selfish generation, men or women . the rolling stones at 70 are the hot rock band. women will say no, no, no, this is what beauty is now. it’s that huge bubble moving through. number two, we have seen through all the housewives shows that plastic surgery doesn’t look good. we have had pioneers of plastic surgery walking through. you’re beautiful. you’re gorgeous and more gorgeous because you look real.

>> thank you.

>> madison avenue is following the money.

>> following the money. you were at the beginning of this. we saw a photograph of you in amy’s piece. you do wonderful work. but you were a discovered model something like nine years ago.

>> yes, at the age of 63. so unexpected.

>> you had another life, other jobs. you were in public relations and somebody discovered you.

>> yeah.

>> in terms of what donny was saying, you say in europe there was an openness to women who were older in ad campaigns.

>> right.

>> what are you finding?

>> that’s even become more of a trend now, i think. i say it because i was just recruited by a new modeling agency in paris that’s just opened up to represent men and women 40 to 85 actually. because there’s been such a boom there. having been signed by wilhemina models here at 72, that’s representative of what’s going on in the united states as well. there is just more demand.

>> how is this going to play out, donny? what are we going to start seeing? we heard about meryl streep on the cover in her 60s. she’s young.

>> three of the last were academy award winners. sandra bullock , meryl streep , helen mirren , women who are not kids. you are defining the power of the mass spending. what a great thing.

>> as long as the money is there. let’s get real.

>> it will continue.

>> if women buy things — for example, we heard about the lipstick at m.a.c. that iris is promoting and it’s selling out. when the money goes there it will continue. if the money stops it goes back.

>> won’t stop for 10, 15 years. that’s where this populous is moving. it’s the same reason — this will sound crazy — we have viagra. this generation said, no, no, my potency is not going away.

>> how did we talk about women and now it’s about you?

>> i can’t believe i keep putting this guy on the air. that’s a valid — you understand.

>> i agree completely.

>> anything more you want to say about it?

>> we as a generation aren’t going to allow ourselves to age. i’m so happy for madison avenue . i’m saying this as a man. it is so much more beautiful. don’t do this. this is more beautiful.

>> thank you.

>> as you look at this and from your perspective what is your message to women who are suddenly feeling this relief? we know that when women are only seeing young women in campaigns it puts pressure on the young people . and on ourselves.

>> right.

>> ultimately it is corrosive. what do you think?

>> i think younger women are looking at women like us and seeing that we are real, that we are continuing to be involved, that we have something very, very dynamic to offer to the world and that the real beauty comes from, i would say, above all from confidence and from having courage to be ourselves , from the wisdom that we have acquired within ourselves over the years, from vibrancy, excitement, about being involved in life. and it’s when all of those things are on the inside and shine through on the outside, that’s what real beauty is all about.

>> you make me want to cry. thank you. we’re going to give you hand for that.

 

What’s on your bucket list?

Have you answered the question yet? It’s really another way of asking the age-old questions – Who am I? Why am I here? and What’s the Meaning of my life? No small task. But one that is vital if you wish to have a successful midlife transition and a healthy aging process.
Why wait until you are about to die to find out why you lived? Most people are too busy existing to figure out what they really want out of life. But, if you are reading this, perhaps you are not one of them. Good for you!

George Bernard Shaw once wrote “True Joy of Life

This is the true joy of life.
The being used for a purpose
Recognized by yourself as a mighty one.
The being a force of nature
Instead of a feverish, selfish
Little clod of ailments and grievances
Complaining that the world will not
Devote itself to making you happy.
I am of the opinion that my life
Belongs to the whole community
And as long as I live,
It is my privilege to do for it
Whatever I can.
I want to be thoroughly
Used up when I die,
For the harder I work the more I live.
I rejoice in life for its own sake.
Life is no brief candle to me.
It is a sort of splendid torch
Which I’ve got hold of
For the moment
And I want to make it burn
As brightly as possible before
Handling it on to future generations.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll keep this subject going and I’d love to hear your thoughts. How many of you have a bucket list? How did you go about creating it? Is it something you are truly working through? Is it what is giving your life meaning? If not, why not?

_____________

Leaving a Legacy Book

I just finished four days of training with Tidewell here in Sarasota as a Hospice volunteer. What awesome work they do and I’m delighted to be taking part in it even for a small bit.

I couldn’t help reflecting during all the training on how important it is to be able to look at end of life issues long before they are immanent.  For example, one of the ‘creative arts’ projects they do is to create a legacy booklet to leave with their families. In it, they answer questions such as what were your favorite memories, things you liked to do, etc. On the front cover, they trace their hand and in each finger write what these hands have done.  Why wait until the end to do work like this? It could be a fun project to do with the whole family.

Life ReviewDo you have a scrapbook of memories? There are so many wonderful scrapbooking stores and techniques these days that could make this also a fun and meaningful project – perhaps one to do with your family.  Years ago, I created a scrapbook that contained ONE page for every year of my life.  In it, I put pictures (where I had them available) as well as a list of the people and events that were important during that year. Of course, I couldn’t remember all of it – so it became a fun exercise to do with my family and especially with my parents (while they both could remember).  It sparked lots of conversations with my young nephews and over the years we’ve continued to share the things we discovered we have in common.

 

Life Review is not just an end of life phenomena. It is something worth doing in midlife and beyond. Do it for yourself as well as for your loved ones.

Lewis Richmond on Belonging

Human beings of every age need to belong. This is a need so basic that we rarely think about it unless loneliness brings it to our attention. As children, most of us safely belong to our families.

Part of growing into adulthood is widening and deepening our various circles of belonging. We belong to our schools, our social groups and friends (and these days our social media contacts too), our community of co-workers, clubs, churches and neighborhoods. On the upward slope of life’s mountain, there is a growing richness and complexity to our belonging, which nourishes us as an essential food.

It is only past midlife that the slope turns downward, and our lifetime of belonging begins to thin out. Children move away. Parents become ill or die. The peak of our career passes, and we edge toward retirement. Friends move or drift away. I think this is part of what used to be called “midlife crisis” — a marked shift, at first slow but gradually accelerating — of belonging. This shift is one of the universal losses of aging, and unless we pay attention to it and adjust for it, this loss can have a deleterious effect on our quality of life, our health, our mood and even lead to depression and other serious illness.

In my new book Aging as a Spiritual Practice: A Contemplative Guide to Growing Older and Wiser
I cite some of the current scientific research about the importance of belonging, and how essential a factor it is for healthy aging. I also introduce the concept of Elderhood, that final “hood” that follows childhood, adulthood and parenthood. In traditional and village societies from time immemorial, elderhood was a time when the community invited its elders into new kind of belonging. In traditional elderhood, elders were the holders of the stories and the histories of the community, the keepers of knowledge about animals and plants and means of survival, the loving companions of young children. Elders had lived through frost and famine and war, and knew how to prevail in the face of disaster.

During the recent tsunami disaster in Malaysia, the populations of some low-lying islands survived only because the elders in those communities knew and remembered the early signs of an impending tidal wave and sounded the alarm to get the people to higher ground. Tsunamis were so rare that none of the younger adults knew the signs, and without the elders’ warning would have perished.

In modern post-industrial societies, these traditional roles for elders are vanishing, and elders are left to themselves to discover their own individual ways to regenerate new ways to belong as old ones fade away. This is not an easy task. When I present my book to audiences, people often plaintively tell that they have much to offer, but no one seems inclined to listen. “I have stories,” one women said. “A lifetime of them. But I can’t get my grandchildren to stop texting and watching their iPads long enough to listen.”

Indeed, this is our world now. One of the real fears of growing older is that as our family and social networks fray and our adult children move away to live their own lives, that at some point we will be fated to live out our last years in some institutional setting. And those fears are real. The research indicates that the incidence of clinical depression and depression-related illness is two to three times higher in such facilities than when elders — even very aged ones — can still live independently.

We all know that this state of affairs is not right, but what can be done? As I like to say, only half-jokingly, “76 million baby boomers can’t be wrong” — about their aging, that is. The sheer size of that demographic group will force our society to adjust. It will be painful, but in the end there is no choice. Elders need their elderhood, and the larger society needs it, too. A purely youth-oriented, consumer-driven society is neither healthy and sustainable, and one of the deep contributions the baby boomer generation can make is to educate us through their activism and voices that young, middle, and old need to be knit together as one whole cloth for society to prosper and grow.