Dr. Toni

Science is Ready to Accept Consciousness

Posted on by Dr. Toni
Deepak Chopra MD (official)

Deepak Chopra MD (official) Influencer

Founder, Chopra Foundation

Although it takes place outside the headlines, even those that deal with science, a heated debate is occurring about mind and matter. On onside is a camp of so-called physicalists, formerly known as materialists, who hold fast to the assumption that any and all phenomena in nature can be reduced to physical processes and the interaction of objects (atoms, subatomic particles, etc.) –these for the building blocks of the universe. On the other side is no single camp but a mixed assortment of skeptics who hold that at least one natural phenomenon–the human mind–cannot be explained physically.

When one explanation (the physicalist) is supported by the weight of highly successful theories in physics, biology, biochemistry, and neuroscience, and the other side has no accepted theory on its side, the debate seems totally unequal. But in David versus Goliath battles, be careful of rooting for Goliath. The possibility of a science of consciousness, which would involve a thorough explanation of mind and how it relates to matter, can’t begin until the obstacles in its path are removed and old accepted assumptions are overturned.

That has already begun, on all fronts. In physics, the essential problem of how something came out of nothing (i.e., the big bang coming out of the quantum vacuum state) stymies cosmologists, while at the microscopic level the same mystery, this time involving subatomic particles emerge from the virtual state, is equally baffling. In biology the prevailing Darwinism cannot explain the quantum leap made, with astonishing rapidity, by Homo sapiens in terms of reasoning, creativity, language, our use of concepts as opposed to instincts, tool-making, and racial characteristics. We are the offspring of the newest part of the brain, the cerebral cortex, and yet there is no causal connection between its evolution and the primal Darwinian need to survive. This is evident by the survival of a hundred primate species lacking a higher brain, reasoning, tool-making, concepts, etc. Finally, in neuroscience and biochemistry, there is zero connection between nerve cells, and their chemical components, and mind. Unless someone can locate the point in time when molecules learned to think, the current assumption that the brain is doing the thinking has no solid footing.

The day-to-day work of scientists isn’t dependent on explaining how mind arose in the cosmos–not yet. The relation between mind and matter has existed in philosophy for centuries and working scientists don’t consider philosophy relevant to their research. Collecting data and doing experiments needs no help from metaphysics. But when you look at the unanswered questions in physics, biology, biochemistry, and neuroscience, it’s more than a coincidence that all, without exception, impinge upon the same inability to know how consciousness actually works. By taking for granted the obvious fact that it takes a mind to do science, we’ve reached the point where science is leaving out the very component that might answer the questions that urgently need answering, not because philosophy demands it but because science does.

 

The sticking point is physicalism itself. If everything must be reduced to the smallest units of matter and energy, and yet there is zero evidence that mind follows that pattern, it is unscientific to cling to physicalism. Even a staunchly mainstream physicist like Stephen Hawking has commented that reality doesn’t necessarily match the current models in science. The mind is real, and since that’s true, defective models are required to change or even be thrown out. To repair the most glaring defect of all–our inability to explain mind–imperils all the sciences for the simple fact that science is a mental activity. If we set physicalism aside, what would be another starting point for a new model of reality?

 

Instead of conceiving reality from the bottom up, moving from tiny building blocks to larger and larger structures, one could do the reverse and create a top-down model. In other words, the starting point would be the whole, not the parts. So what do we know about reality as a whole?

·     Reality is knowable through the mind. What humans can’t know, either directly or by inference, might as well not exist.

·     What we know is tied to what we experience.

·     Experience takes place in consciousness, nowhere else.

·     Experience is at once boundless and very restricted. The boundless part lies in the human capacity to create, invent, explore, discover, and imagine. The restricted part revolves around the setup of the brain, which is confined to the behavior of space, time, matter, and energy. The brain is four-dimensional, while physics poses the possibility of infinite dimensions at one extreme and zero dimensions at the other extreme.

·     Because the physical processing done by the brain works in parallel to the mind doesn’t mean that the brain is the mind. To assert that brain equals mind involves showing the atoms and molecules can think, which can’t be proven and seems highly unlikely. Therefore, the ground state of reality, the place form which everything originates, is consciousness.

·     Consciousness is the only constant in human experience that can’t be removed from consideration in science, or any other form of knowing.

·     What we call reality “out there” is constructed in our own awareness. These constructs follow predictable paths according to mathematics, logic, the laws of nature, and so on. But this doesn’t prove that reality is independent of our experience, only that consciousness is capable of extremely precise, predictable organization. In a word, the notion that everything is a mental construct is just as valid as the notion that everything is a physical construct. The two are merely different perspectives.

·     If reality “out there” is a construct dependent upon consciousness, explaining the universe entails explaining consciousness. Where physicalists are stymied by how atoms and molecules think, non-physicalists are stymied by how mind creates matter.

·     This impasse is broken by taking a concrete approach to mind; that is, by investigating the qualities of reality “out there.” These qualities, such as how an object looks, sounds, feels, tastes, and smells, are entirely created in consciousness. As Heisenberg noted almost a decade ago, there are no fixed physical characteristics of an atom or subatomic particle. Everything is built up from the qualities, also known as qualia, that the human mind knows, experiences, and can conceptualize.

·     Ultimately, even where nature sucks all matter and energy into black holes and naked singularities, the actual horizon for science doesn’t lie there, or with the big bang, by which matter and energy reappeared in manifest form. The real horizon is where the inconceivable source of mind meets the conceivable phenomena in nature. The problem of something coming out of nothing is exactly the same when the cosmos was born as when a thought is born. This is the level playing field where mind and matter can be investigated as two sides of the same process: consciousness interacting with itself.

 

Deepak Chopra MD, FACP, founder of The Chopra Foundation and co-founder of The Chopra Center for Wellbeing, is a world-renowned pioneer in integrative medicine and personal transformation, and is Board Certified in Internal Medicine, Endocrinology and Metabolism. He is a Fellow of the American College of Physicians and a member of the American Association of Clinical Endocrinologists. Chopra is the author of more than 80 books translated into over 43 languages, including numerous New York Times bestsellers. His latest books are  The Healing Self co-authored with Rudy Tanzi, Ph.D. and Quantum Healing (Revised and Updated): Exploring the Frontiers of Mind/Body Medicine. www.deepakchopra.com

From Anti-Aging to Eternal Being: Embracing the Sage

Posted on by Dr. Toni

By Dr. Sue Morter

Aging is a natural process occurring for each of us, although it’s one we’ve been taught to resist. With the numerous serums, health products and procedures promising to help win the battle against aging, many are caught up in this constant “fight” against aging and left desperately looking for the next miracle product to stop or even reverse the natural effects of time’s passing. In fact, so pervasive is this growing resistance to the aging process that, according to Orbis Research, “the global anti-aging market is estimated to reach $331.41 billion by 2021.”

The fact is, there is no miracle product or serum. Aging is going to happen, but it doesn’t have to be a struggle. When it comes to our views on aging, there is a deeper truth we can embrace, and one which would benefit us greatly as a society.

Currently, our culture places our value on external appearances. We obsess about how we’re perceived, how we get ahead by the way people perceive us, if we’re going to be respected, or if we’re going to get the attention that we need, etc. It’s a focus that leaves us constantly looking for validation and our worth from the outside in.

However, in a time not too long ago, there was more value placed on the internal aspect of our life. The wise old sage was the most coveted individual in the tribe. He or she was the leader of the people, the most respected, and the one whom everyone looked to for guidance.

No matter how old or young you are in this moment, this “sage” resides within you. Your soul, or Essential Self as I like to call it, is the eternal part of you that is rooted in truth. Just as science proves energy cannot either be created or destroyed, this part of you is actually lifetimes old and is constantly wanting to reveal itself as your own wisdom.

When we tap that wisdom and bring it forward, we feel alive. We feel youthful, engaged in life, and like we’re part of a greater picture. We feel like we’re a part of something meaningful in life and by tapping our wisdom, we allow ourselves to stay in our natural flow which is always rejuvenating and replenishing itself.

 

Feeling Old

The “sage” is always in you, however if at times you don’t feel connected to that part of yourself, you may feel tired and like you’re many years older than you actually are. You might age in that you’re here on the planet longer, but if you’re not feeling younger every year, it is because you haven’t mastered why you’re here.

You’re here to realize that you’re not of this world, that you are an eternal, replenishing, flowing spirit energy.

The real you is an essence that is a pure stream of consciousness. While that might seem like a big “out there” picture, it isn’t so much. It’s the truth of who you are, and quantum science is teaching us that that is what we are.

The field of Bio-Energetics studies how energy moves through the body. It’s not just that you’re made of energy, but that dynamic process of energy moving or flowing is what actually allows for healing and rejuvenation and maintaining a youthful system.

Anything that blocks the energy flow in your system is really what you’re battling. If you’re feeling older, it is because you’re holding onto stuff and carrying energetic baggage around that doesn’t matter to you. But, here’s the amazing, magical cue and clue regarding this:

The very thing that you’re fighting is what you have to embrace so that you’re no longer stuck.

 

 Here’s what I mean…

 

Let’s say you’ve encountered something over the course of your life that was not pleasant and in fact, may have been overwhelming such as the sudden loss of a relationship, a disappointment in your career or an unforeseen death of a loved one. These situations short circuit our system to the degree our survival mechanism kicks in and says, “I don’t know how we’re going to deal with this, but for right now, let’s just set it over here so we can keep going. Let’s just process it later.”

In moments such as these, the subconscious grabs ahold of whatever that emotion is and tucks it away somewhere so you can keep functioning and moving ahead. Each time that happens, that tiny “tucked away” emotion ends up stopping some of your energy flow and herein lies the problem. We pack these emotions up and they collect over time and begin to bog the system. When you encounter another issue a little further down the road it feels overwhelming and that “stuckness” of energy causes our system to weaken. Then, we begin to feel bogged down. We equate this heavy, bogged-down feeling with being old.  We look in the mirror and wonder, “How did I get so worn down? How did I get so exhausted?”

The first thing to do when you reach this place is recognize that you’re not old. You’re eternal (which means you’re actually quite ancient, right?)

Being ancient is better than being old, and it’s the truth of the “sage” we have to tap into. The other truth we have to recognize is this: We can handle and process those energetic disturbances we’ve been collecting in our “pockets” our entire life.

We must begin to see these situations as actually acting in our favor. Whatever it may have been, it was not there to overwhelm you or take you out of the game. It was calling you forward to recognize your greatness and allow you to perceive your magnificence. When we can start to recognize that and build the circuitry to perceive in that fashion, we then become more empowered. When we start to process these unresolved issues in our lives, we begin to feel lighter. We allow the energy that’s been stuck for years, maybe decades to begin to flow through our systems once again.

 

As that happens, we begin to glow.

 

With energy flowing through our bodies, we feel lighter, younger, stronger and more vital. We find ourselves, amazingly, less caught up in this huge fight that everyone is fighting – the battle and war against aging.

 The “victory” in the battle against aging is a matter of changing your perspective. If you want to win this battle of aging, you have to stop the fight itself. The best way to win a war is to not participate in it at all. The best way to stop a battle is to not see it as a battle.

 Instead of seeing each passing year as one in which you are growing older, begin to see it as an opportunity for you to take a deeper look at the truth of who you are. If you connect with your inner sage and allow your wisdom to ride freely and create this wave of expression in your life, your life will change. You will begin to feel more vital.

 There are people in my coursework who are in their 80’s and 90’s who tell me they feel younger than they have felt in decades. And, they look radiant. When they speak, others can’t get enough of what they have to say because they’re speaking from their wisdom. They’ve allowed the hardships in their life to become nudges toward their own greatness. The issues that were unresolved are now processed and contribute to their deep knowingness, or their willingness to be present, loving, forgiving, and most importantly, to be themselves. When they connect the dots in such a way, they glow, emanating an essence we all want a part of.

This can happen for you no matter what age you are, and no matter what has been stored in the pockets of your life. If you’re constantly fighting this aging process, I want to tell you it’s in your favor. It’s your time to recognize you too can be younger every year.  You just have to learn how to connect those dots again, drop into your core and connect with that inner-sage residing deep within. Allow your energy to flow through your body and use you deep wisdom to allow it to flow through your life. Living from that place will allow you to be bigger – and feel younger – than you thought you ever could be.

 

For more insights as well as a breathing technique to help in laying down the battle against aging, please see the following video, “Aging Gracefully” by Dr. Sue Morter.

Stages of Development and Aging Process

Posted on by Dr. Toni

It gets clearer to me every day that the aging process is all about our chance to wake up and grow up and I’m beginning to see that they even might be one and the same thing- at least that growing up is actually the key to truly waking up.

There are many theories out there about the stages of development of a human and I’ve studied several of them.  What they all say, is that the ultimate aim of human existence (at least as we know it so far) is all about Oneness and even Non- Dual living. The various paths we take to get there all go through some of the same steps.  One such theory – created by Terri O’Fallon –  simply known as STAGES-  starts us out as babies, totally impulsive, simply in a receptive state and then very egocentric and active.  We progress gradually towards a rule orientation to society and then as conformists.  Much of the population remains at these last two stages.

For some of us, we move on to become goal-oriented experts and then achievers and finally for a few – we become pluralists and strategists.  In future weeks I may spend some time defining these more clearly.  But, for today, I want to introduce you all to what I see is the work of the aging process itself – a time to give up goals and achievement and become aware that we’ve been making things up all along.  It can be a bit disconcerting to surrender, let go and give up what has been our identity. They call this stage “construct aware” because we recognize that everything is constructed and what we’ve been seeing as ‘reality’ is really only a perception and perhaps even an illusion.  We then eventually get to a stage where we experience the transpersonal- the beginning of understanding that there’s really only ONE of us out there. The next few top stages studied by the theorists so far, are known as universal and illuminated. And of course, evolution will eventually take us perhaps to what Barbara Marx Hubbard has termed universal human.

Since I’m not there yet, I can’t really talk about the highest stages – but I do know both from study and my own growth experience, that the older I get, the more I come to know that I just don’t know!  I recognize life as a game or an even better analogy – a movie and I have invited a cast of characters in to help me experience my true self more deeply – in the hopes that I will eventually get to see the Oneness of all of Life and start to truly experience the Good that I have come to know as God.

We all are meant to get there eventually.  I find that exciting.  Do you?

I’d love to start a dialogue with any of you that have discovered the truth of all of this as well.  Together we can forge a path that can tell the world what the aging process is REALLY all about.  Yes, it is decline – but the decline is of the separate self.  It really is about so much more.  Each of us individually, and all of us collectively are causing evolution to move forward.

Please comment below on what this all means to you and where you might want me to go with these messages.  Thanks for being part of my movie!

Spirituality of Aging

Posted on by Dr. Toni

The Spirituality of Aging – by Dr. Toni LaMotta

The Aging Process as a Teacher of Spirituality

Lately half the ads you see on TV or in the magazines are Anti-aging products.  Hopefully, if you are sitting here today you are NOT ANTI-AGING!   It’s time to teach the world as well as ourselves to learn a new perspective – and come to understand the Imponderable Lessons in the process of growing older itself…  I believe that the aging process itself is an opportunity for spiritual development and it is part of our task here today to look at ways to help make that a reality.

Aging can be an opportunity to awaken to the Inexpressible Truths that have been part of our lives and our Knowing but not yet fully experienced.

There is so much more to life than what we can perceive with our senses and know with our reason. It is easy to get lost in what we think is the “TRUTH” simply because it is something we are experiencing. And yet, life takes on the greatest meaning when we come to realize that there is so much more than what appears. Perhaps that’s what true spirituality is after all.  It’s coming to deeply KNOW that there is a Perceiver behind everything we perceive. There is a Knower behind everything we know and that the only true Reality is that which endures forever. Basically, it is seeing life from the ‘soul’s perspective  and ultimately coming to recognize our Oneness with all of Life. In essence, that is the aim of all spiritual growth or development. And it is perhaps the greatest work of the aging process itself.

 

True transformation is moving from a limited here and now view of all that is to a view that helps us in all situations and circumstances to say, “I am more than this.”

 

It is important first of all to address the fears and beliefs we have around aging and learn some techniques to address these.  I like to lead people through a process called FEAR TO FAITH which helps them truly face the fears they may have and look at what it is doing in their lives in order to release them and live more freely.  I also use a technique called EFT – Does everyone know what that is?   Perhaps if we have time at the end, I can teach it to you.  It’s very simple.

 

I also love to lead people in doing a life review. This can be done through a scrapbook of picture or a series of journal techniques. The purpose of a life review is to complete anything from  our past that might need forgiveness and reconciliation.  It also  helps us find the gems in our past that are signposts of where there is still life to be lived more fully.

 

I also truly believe that we can  look at the aging process itself and how it can support us on this spiritual journey.

 

As I continue to age and work more and more with people from midlife and beyond, I have noticed that when approached consciously, the aging process itself can truly foster spiritual transformation.  No matter what age you are right now,  I invite you to explore your own experience and what you are learning

 

With a shift in attitude, we can discover that in life’s second half — or fourth quarter, the very experiences we have during the process of aging itself are meant to be a call and an opportunity for spiritual growth. The changes we experience as we age can become a source of discouragement and complaint, or we can use them as a source of spiritual inspiration and even transformation.

 

To age consciously, rather than deny what is happening, we need to develop spiritual resources to adapt and begin to look at EVERYTHING that we experience as a Gift inviting us to take a deeper look at what life is calling us to become.

 

One of our basic needs in life is to find meaning and purpose.  Like the dragonfly that doesn’t get it’s true colors until it reaches maturity, sometimes it is only when we have lived a full life and become more conscious, that our true soul’s purpose and our life’s deepest meaning begin to appear.  Many of us, when younger, confused our work with our purpose – although for some they may have overlapped. Our purpose is not necessarily the way we make money in this world, it is more about the reason our soul decided to incarnate. It takes a bit of living to discover what that is for most of us.

 

So – one of the exercises that I believe is most important for us as we age is to do some work to find out What is the purpose of OUR life?

 

The renowned spiritual teacher, Ram Dass (born Richard Alpert, April 6, 1931)  an American contemporary spiritual teacher and the author of the seminal 1971 book Be Here Now and the more recent work, Still Here: Embracing Changing, Aging and Dying  suggests that one purpose is to learn to grow old well.

 

He asserts that some of his greatest growth has taken place since he had a stroke at age 65. “I realized that stroke was grace,”  “I had been superficial and arrogant and the stroke helped me to be humble. I had gotten power from helping people and now I need help for everything. That was the grace. The stroke happened to the ego, and when I could witness the pain, my life got better.”

 

Fortunately, most of us do not have to have something as dramatic as a stroke to learn spiritual lessons. For example, we can learn mindfulness as we find our bodies slowing down and as friends, family and the media caution us more and more about being alert lest we become one of the statistics of those who have had a fall.  Consciousness, after all, is all about being alert and is one of the most important ways of keeping ourselves balanced. Being conscious is synonymous with living in the present.

 

All spiritual teachings tell  us that the most important lesson is to be in the NOW, to live in the moment and to learn to accept Whatever IS rather than worrying about what could be or was.. So much of the ‘pain’ of the aging process is because we are holding on to who we were rather than embracing who we are at the moment.

 

 

 

A sign of spiritual maturity comes when we don’t split everything up according to what we like and what we don’t like, what we label as good or bad. I’ve been practicing living without judgment lately – making sort of a contest of it – and trust me, it isn’t easy.  So much of our lives are filled with judgments!  Wow – this one is a challenge for sure.

 

The lesson here is to accept what is – without wishing to change it or have it be any different than it already is. All spiritual teachers point the way to learning how to leave the moment open, to let it be what it is in itself, and let it speak to you. We miss an opportunity for transformation by tightly holding on to who we were.  Besides, the real spiritual truth is that we were never really who we thought we were anyway, so what are we holding on to?

 

Perhaps that’s some of the gift of memory loss as we age. We have to live more in the moment! Now that we can’t remember details so well, it’s also easier to allow ourselves to forgive and forget and let our hearts expand. Forgetting can actually become an art form when we allow it. I believe that when our memories fail us, it is a reminder to seek out what is really important and I have adopted a belief that if I can’t remember it, it can’t be that important. It’s actually very freeing.

 

There are lots of things that are just not worth remembering. Somehow I think our souls know that and allow us to forget.

We learn the art of letting go or what spiritual teachers call surrender. This can happen, for example, as we let go of roles –perhaps redefining our role as parents as we experience an empty nest, or releasing our work identity as we retire or retread. Thomas Merton, Trappist monk, writer and mystic – said the way we have structured our lives, we spend our whole life climbing up the ladder of supposed success, and when we get to the top of the ladder we realize it is leaning against the wrong wall—and there is nothing at the top. As we experience aging, we have to let go of all of the false agendas, unreal goals, and passing self-images. It is all about letting go. The spiritual life is more about unlearning than learning.

 

 

As an adult educator, I have studied various age-stage theories and in the past had at least an intellectual understanding of the lessons to be learned and things to be ‘achieved’ at each age and level of life. During our earlier years, life is all about doing, achieving and accumulating and we find as we age that we long to live a simpler, more clutter free life.  As we age, acquiring no longer seems as important. In fact, most people I know are shedding and releasing and downsizing or right-sizing. Simplification becomes more attractive and a simple, more clutter free life becomes more and more desirable.  What ways can you or those you work with practice living with less clutter?

 

We are at a point in our lives when we set new priorities and explore what is REALLY important to us. We are learning to move from an outer focus to an inner focus and from a mind control orientation to a soul centered approach to life.  We stop asking what do I want? and begin to ask, what does my soul want here?  As we age, we can come to identify more with our soul than with our former roles. The aging process itself demands that we move from the acquiring, doing, achieving, manifesting, solidifying identity stage to learning to let go, and to be.

 

As we age, we learn to spend more time being and less time becoming prolific and productive.  Spirituality teaches us that life is about BEING and not about DOING and one of the ways we learn that is by not being able to DO the things we did in the past.  Most of the time we did things because of the FEELING that it brought us. So, as we age, we can look at incomplete goals or things we once enjoyed and ask, what FEELING am I looking for in this experience? Usually, we can find something or some way to achieve that same feeling from a different experience that is still available to us.

 

 

All through our spiritual lives we are taught about surrender and letting go. When we begin to experience life as being ‘taken away from us’ or ‘slipping away’, we can either panic, rebel, or deeply allow what is happening to happen.  Of course, that doesn’t mean being passive about our health or about keeping intimate relationships alive, but it does mean that we get to recognize the impermanence of all that we have on this planet earth, while coming to KNOW and experience that life is truly eternal. When we get to glimpse that truth, our focus changes and we set different priorities. We realize that for certain, we cannot take it with us – when the ‘it’ are material possessions and while we treasure and appreciate them for what they are, we no longer feel ‘attached’. That’s ultimate spiritual growth and true freedom.  I often encourage people I teach or council to write their own obituary and epitaph – and really discover what it is they are here for and what they want people to remember about them.  I’ve even held memorial services with people while they are still alive and have them give their own eulogy.  It’s a challenging but very profound experience

 

One of the jobs of the aging process, if you will, is to come face to face with the experience we call ‘death’ and to recognize that it is a continuation of our essence which we know of as Life. That’s pretty powerful stuff if we get it. So much of our youth is lived in denial that this life is only temporary, as we age, we can become aware of what is permanent and thereby discover that nothing can ever be truly lost. We rob the elderly of this experience if we avoid this conversation.  I have been a volunteer with hospice for the past few years and have had some of the most profound conversations with people in their 90’s and 100 when they reflect on their beliefs about what happens after this life.  I’ve learned so much from them and their willingness to have such conversations.

 

The spiritual journey is about going deeper and deeper to find that which does not change.  The one thing we can be certain of as we age is faster change and in many instances, change is seen as synonymous with loss.  The aging process itself is often viewed as a time of grief and loss.  Besides letting go of old identities and abilities, it is often experiencing more and more deaths of loved ones. It can be a time of declining or loss of health. At the very least, it is the loss of things that are perceived of as youthful beauty – such as hair color, or even hair itself!

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer : To be attached to your physical appearance is to ensure a lifetime of suffering as you watch your form go through the natural motions that began the moment of your conception.

 

Certainly when we watch our parents and sometimes even our friends and children die, we learn of this life’s impermanence. Our grief is almost always about what could have been. Learning to grieve can be a true source of spiritual growth when viewed from this perspective.

 

 

Many of my clients have told me that they no longer fear death, (and that’s a great thing) but, what they fear is the process of dying.  None of us like to suffer. And, spiritually speaking, we never have to. I am reminded of what an Indian guru once taught me while doing Yoga.  We held some pretty challenging postures for quite a long time – or at least it seemed quite long to me! – He said to us, “change the label of pain to “sensation”.  I’ll never forget those words.  I use them frequently when my body decides to exhibit less than pleasant moments.  Truly, suffering only comes when we push away and resist whatever we are experiencing. It is not what is happening that causes suffering, but what we are telling ourselves about what is happening.  It’s never going to get better… I can’t go on with this… or other such statements.

 

Someone recently heard that I had shoulder pain and said – you must be struggling… I couldn’t help but laugh as I realized that so many people see pain as something to struggle or fuss about rather than simply our bodies signal that it wants us to come back to balance.

 

Our bodies are amazing that way. The problem we have with them getting older is an old spiritual problem of identification.  Ask any Eastern spiritual teacher and he or she will say, “I am not my body.” You’ve probably heard that – and maybe even intellectually agreed to it- but when you start to experience what you label as ‘decline’ of the body, it is essential to remember that you are more than that. What a gift our bodies give us when we are ready to really hear that truth.

 

 

Maybe the pain that comes with the breakdown of bodily processes is especially tough on us as we age because we probably aren’t going to physically heal from many of these changes. They’re signs, reminders once again that we are so much more than our bodies, and the more we identify with the body, the more pain we’ll experience.

 

 

I have also found that having health issues as I age has really been an opportunity to help me transform.  These experiences have challenged my beliefs about who I am and why I came here in the first place.  They have also taught me another radically important spiritual lesson and that is the recognition that all of life is about interdependence, rather than independence.  I have had times where I need help – something I never knew how to ask for or even sometimes believed I deserved.  “I” was here to help others and in my ‘serving’ I often neglected the truth that others are served when I allow them to support me.  I read recently that even the Buddha was awakened when he came face to face with an elderly sick person and with a corpse. If it hadn’t been for them, who knows what his life would have been! We can all be gifts to help others awaken.

 

 

 

Another part of awakening to our fullness is learning to live with the opposites that life presents. True maturity is about learning to live with the questions. Ultimate spiritual understanding leads us to a place of non-duality and living with questions is a way of practicing that life is not either-or, but often both –and.

I recently read an article from the diocese of Washington that talked about people’s experiences of aging – One person said

“As I age, I am less physically able to accomplish things I once did on my own. I now fear heights and can’t climb tall ladders. I have a hard time lifting heavy things without injury. But all this has made me more humble and more appreciative of the help that others can give. Gratitude and a proper sense of interdependence are a gift I have discovered with age.  In the gift of age God has helped me be more grateful and connected to others.”

 

We are all One. We were often taught that it is better to give than to receive, but the truth is that Giving and Receiving are one. As we learn to ask for the help we need, we truly learn the meaning of interdependence. Needing help can also help us become more understanding of the struggles of others. I don’t know about you, but when I was young I was impatient. There was little I could not do, or at least thought I could not do. But, now, experiencing more of my limits both compassion and understanding have been awakened in me and I’m learning patience as well.

 

 

A few years ago, I had a hip replacement followed by a broken femur, infection and blood clots.  It left me flat on my back for almost 3 months. During my time of rehab and healing, I learned to be grateful for the smallest things and for the care that others offered me in so many ways. I became more humble and appreciative of all those people who are ill or disabled who would never recover as I did.

 

 

There are so many unexpected gifts hidden in situations like this. The most important lesson I received was the message I got while lying immobile: “There is nowhere to go and nothing to do.”  While that was literally true then, it has become my mantra every day when I find myself feeling overwhelmed or rushed or berating myself for not meeting a deadline or achieving a goal.  Those words are worth pondering: There’s nowhere to go and nothing to do.  I believe that’s what true enlightenment is all about. It’s a gift of grace.

 

 

I’ve even learned to be more grateful even for the gift of a brief rest. Naps are a great way to remind myself that there is nowhere to go and nothing to do!.

 

What are some of the other things that people fear about aging and what are the lessons that can be learned from the aging process? When you fear running out of money, ask yourself, what is true wealth and true abundance? You can’t take it with you after all. Have you defined yourself by the money you earn or by the things money has allowed you to accumulate?  Who are you with or without money?

 

If you are downsizing, leaving a home for assisted living or nursing home, you can ponder the question: Where is our true home? Yes, living on this earth, it is nice to be surrounded by nice things and to have the safety and security of a roof over our heads. One 104 year old who was living in an assisted living facility often told me about the homes she once lived in – about the boats on the lake outside her window and about the long treks she took just to buy groceries.  You know, she said, “I loved what I had – but I am so content with where I am now. I don’t need these things to be happy. It’s enough to remember all the good that has been part of my life and while it is different today, I still see it as good.”

 

She was one of the most conscious and content people I know and she taught me to learn to be satisfied with WHAT IS – instead of longing for what used to be or can no longer be. What a gift.

 

She also told me that she loved living alone and was NEVER lonely. “I have learned to love my own company. I was quite social in my younger years. I belonged to and ran lots of organizations. But, now, it’s time for me and I am enjoying every moment. I am part of all I’ve ever been.”   What wisdom she taught us all. When you experience Loneliness begin to recognize that you can choose to see life lived  a- lone or all one.

 

 

When your eye-sight gets weaker, rejoice in the new inner vision that can come upon you in this second half of life and look with great expectation to the even deeper vision as you change from an outer focus to a more inward quest. Learning to live more consciously is all about discovering or rediscovering that the interior life is the real life and can be far richer than any outer experience. And besides, it is lasting.

 

If your hearing begins to diminish, see it as a sign to listen more attentively and to look at others while they speak. This can serve to connect you more deeply to them. And learn to listen to the voice within – you’ll be amazed at what you can now hear when you shut out some of the outside noise.

 

Perhaps falling apart is just another way of letting go, of releasing our beliefs about ourselves and what we believe to be true. A main theme of the spiritual classic, the Bhagavad Gita, is the importance of learning to be unattached to the fruits of our labor, of emptying ourselves — I read once that it is about  becoming teflon instead of velcro. Nature kindly assists us as we age, for as our mind and memories dim, it becomes a little easier to release the images we hold about who we are.

Finally I am gradually coming to realize that everything that happens to us in a life can be seen as a blessing, even the most devastating reverses. It’s all a matter of seeing it with the perspective of compassion and love. Spiritual vision allows us to see life as a treasure worth cherishing right up to our final breath. How are you handling the process yourself?  Can you find ways to help others as well?   Let’s share…

 

 

Integrative Health on Conscious Aging

Posted on by Dr. Toni
« Conscious Aging

 

February 16, 2011 by Integrative Health

Have you ever wondered how you will like to age and have you ever imagined or even remotely thought about how you would like to die? I know these are not easy questions to answer but nevertheless are thought provoking because one day we will all be old and will be nearing death. When I look at my parents, I wonder what they think about their aging process and what lessons I can learn from them. Especially at a time when cosmetic surgery, botox andwinkle reducing creams and the like seem to be the norm, these question become even more important.

Aging is a personal experience and we can learn a lot by spending time with people who are near to the end of human life span. Conversations around sharing your own experiences and understanding the perspective of an older aging person can provide much perspective and insight. Conscious aging means to ‘move on’ and confronting your own death. There are several myths around aging for instance, most think that retirement has a negative connotation associated with it. The popular belief is that retirement leads to identity crisis and that older adults have little contact with the younger generation. You will be surprised to know that research suggests that younger people are more lonely than older people and according to the theory of Gerotranscendence (The term Gerotranscendence comes from the words “gero” (“old age” in Greek) and “transcendence” (“to climb over” in Latin) ) by Lars Tornstam, a researcher in this area, Gerotranscendence is a developmental stage that occurs when an individual who is living into very old age shifts their perspective “…from a materialistic and rational view of the world to a more cosmic and transcendent one, normally accompanied by an increase in life satisfaction.”

Isn’t that just fascinating! To know that old age can have such profound meaning is so gratifying. Being raised as a Hindu, I am aware that the religious scriptures define fifty two life stages and out of these, ten are the most important. These stages are called Samskaras. Some of the most commonly known Samskaras are that of childhood, of boyhood, of manhood and of old age and death. Similar to the Tornstam theory of Gerotranscendence, in the two last stages of life as described in Hindu scriptures (namely Vanaprastha and Sannyasa), a person withdraws himself from all worldly activities, retires in the forest and prepares himself for taking Sannyasa. As a Sannyasin, he or she renounces the world and leads a life of study and meditation. It’s interesting to see such similarity between recent western research and eastern view of purpose or path of life for an aging person. We become more and more like the Zen Buddhist as we age.

Tornstom conducted qualitative interviews of 50 participants between the ages of 52 and 97 years and identified three dimensions of change – The Cosmic Dimension, The Self Dimension and The Dimension of Social and Personal Relations. According to the cosmic dimension of gerotranscendence , a person transcends borders between the past and present and sometimes interprets his/ her childhood in a new reconciling way.An elder may report that they experience feelings of being a child, a young person, an adult and an older adult all in one moment. This view of time allows them to re-evaluate old events to gain new perspectives, and provides opportunities to right old wrongs. They begin to view death as a natural part of the life process; they appear to fear death less than those who are younger.

The dimension of self relates to self confrontation and through self discovery, one finds hidden aspects of their self – both the good and the bad. During this time, one may find removing the self from the center of one’s universe on one hand and on the other, if there is a lack of self confidence, a struggle to establish self-confidence that feels appropriate may happen. The care of the body continues but the obsession with it surely ends. These elders become less self-occupied and a shift occurs from egoism to altruism. Gerotranscendent elders remove their “masks” because they no longer feel the need to play their old roles; they can now be themselves. These individuals find themselves simply accepting the mysteries of life, acknowledging they can’t understand everything. When gerotranscendent older adults reflect back on their lives, they realize that the pieces of their life’s jigsaw puzzle really do form a wholeness.

According to the dimension of social and personal relationships, the meaning and the importance of relationship changes. These elders become more selective and less interested in superficial relationships and find an increasing need for periods of solitude. As they age, they often become more selective in their choices of social and other activities; they avoid social interactions they judge to be unnecessary. Gerotranscendent seniors report a decreased interest in material things, viewing too many possessions as burdensome.They express a greater need for “alone time” for thought and meditation, referred to as positive solitude. They also have an urge to abandon rules, while also understanding their necessity at times. They have ‘everyday wisdom’ meaning they show reluctance to superficially separating the right from the wrong and thus holding judgments and giving advice. They have an increased tolerance and broadmindedness.

I hope this blog helps you to understanding the aging process and how to age consciously. This may also help you to relate to what your older family members may be going through and will assist you to understand that process better.