A few years ago, I came across an article by Bernard Starr in an online journal, Religion and Spirituality.
Dr. Starr titled the article “The Spiritual Emergency of Aging: Surviving ‘Thirty Something’ and Beyond.”
I wasn’t interested in the issues of the 30-something drama. Even my daughters were well past such youthful angst. It was the ages “beyond” that interested me, especially his concept of a spiritual crisis. I saved the article and read it again, recently, as I pondered life as an old person.
Wit and Wisdom has highlighted many of the ages and stages in life’s journey. We speak of the opportunities that later life can bring. We talk about our place in community life. We emphasize our problem-solving skills and our wisdom. We learn to enjoy freedom from the tasks of raising children and making a right livelihood. We may even rejoice in being “older” but never old.
And we are kidding ourselves. Most of us will become old. Yet I feel uncomfortable even using the word “old” here, for it is fraught with negative images that we try to avoid. Many of us will experience the dreaded frailties of old age. We will grumble mightily about the indignities of age, or perhaps make a joke of it, saying “Old age ain’t for sissies.”
But we will cling to life, even to life as an old person.
Within the very real physical difficulties of old age, there lies a significant spiritual crisis. It is a crisis of identity. Who am I?
The tasks and roles that have made life worthwhile gradually slip away. Who am I, if not the parent who provides, the trusted and competent worker, the valued member of the civic or church committee, the one who can be counted on to bring the goodies to coffee hour? Who am I, when I can no longer take my place in the world. Who am I, if I cannot be as I have always been?
We are forced to come to a new understanding of personal worth. Each of us is more than the tasks we have done, the successes we have accumulated. We are more than the failures we have endured. It is not easy to come to this understanding, for we have spent so many years in a tough culture that values productivity above all else.
“But how shall I achieve such a peaceful mind,” a reader might ask. I have a few suggestions that I put in the form of … New Year’s Resolutions!
Well, why shouldn’t octogenarians and those beyond get into the spirit of the season? Add your own thoughts.
Resolution 1: Raise the subject of late life with a good friend. Share your hidden fears and perhaps laugh at yourselves a little.
Resolution 2: If you are a “just the facts, ma’am” kind of person, add a bit of reflection to your life. This might be a book of poetry to read or listening to soothing music on a regular basis.
Resolution 3: Do what you need to do to protect your health (exercise/diet/appropriate medical care).
Resolution 4: Ask your minister or rabbi to develop a sermon on the crisis of late life. The topic can be valuable to younger people as well, as they face their own aging and that of loved ones.
Resolution 5: Engage with other people, age mates and others. I know this is not easy, especially in winter. Check the Keene Senior Center for small group activity. It is critical to stay connected.
Resolution 6: If you are isolated by circumstances, request a visitor from the Neighbors program of the Retired Senior Volunteer Program or a parish visiting program.
Resolution 7: Rejoice as you are able. Tap your toes a bit.
Late life can be difficult. There is much to do, to make possible a safe and satisfying old age. Society has a role here, through government, community institutions and faith communities. Neighborhoods can be important as well. The aged, too, have a role to play. We, the old, must do what we can to age responsibly and well.
Martha Bauman enjoys observing and studying the issues of aging, both in her own life and in the life of the community. She welcomes your comments about senior issues. Email mabauman@myfairpoint.net
