A long time ago someone gave me great advice. They said, “Look back rather than ahead when you want to see what you have accomplished. If you want to know how to change your life, it can’t be because you are looking ahead and feeling like something is missing. Midlife is a pivotal time in a woman’s life. It’s an opportunity to say, “I’ve come a long way. and give yourself a pat on the back – wherever you might be.” The mere fact that you want to learn how to change your life, means you are ready for something new. It doesn’t matter where you have been, you are here today to tell it, and that’s a victory.
It’s hard to measure progress when you are always looking at how far you still have to go Adapt the spiritual truth that ‘there is no where to get to and you’ll never get it done.’ I have found that to be one of the most powerful messages of my life.
Most of us spend so much time focusing on what we don’t yet have that we fail to appreciate all that we do. Midlife is a wonderful opportunity to reflect on all the Good that has been in our lives and to see which of the things we want to keep and which we want to release. This could be people, beliefs or things.
Focus on your assets and abilities and not what you are calling your flaws.
I used to think I needed to be good at everything and berated myself for the things I didn’t do well. One Midlife message I give myself continually is – if you don’t like it, don’t do it – find someone who does and hire them.
The principle that “What we focus on increases” applies particularly to our emphasis on what’s not up to our standards in our own character. I never met anyone who changed by being corrected. Praising good behavior yields more good behavior. It’s true with children. It’s even more true with ourselves.
Make a scrapbook of your life – and write what you appreciate about each year that has passed.
A few years ago, I did a year long workshop where one of the assignments was to make a book of our lives. We were asked to put at least one picture for each year, and where we didn’t have real pictures, to put something from a magazine that represented who we were at that time. Then, we were told to list the people who had been part of our lives and all the events that took place that we now considered significant.
I went all the way out with this project – creating a scrapbook filled with stickers and stencils and beautifully colored papers. I never thought of myself as an artist, but this book is something I will treasure as much as any work of art.
I called in family to help
I shared parts of my life that I had never shared
I discovered things about myself and about my beliefs.
Make a decision about what you want to throw away and what you want to keep.
Years ago, when I was moving from California to Florida, a good friend shared some advice that helped me let go and move on. With each item I wanted to pack she’d ask, “Is this who you are today?” And, if my answer was no, we either tossed it or gave it away. That goes for people and places as well as for things. When we let go of what no longer serves us, we make room for the new.
I have lots of experience with this and lots more spiritual tips that have supported me in the many changes I have made in my life. I’d love to share some of them with you so you too can learn how to change your life. Join me now for a FREE bi-weekly newsletter on Midlife by going now to www.reinventmidlife.com and then I hope to be hearing your ideas on my blog as well.
