What does it really mean to be a grown up in today’s world? We assume that once we “get it together” with the right job, marry the right person, have children, and buy a home, all is settled and well. But adulthood presents varying levels of growth, and is rarely the respite of stability we expected. Turbulent emotional shifts can take place anywhere between the age of thirty-five and seventy when we question the choices we’ve made, realize our limitations, and feel stuck— commonly known as the “midlife crisis.”

Jungian psycho-analyst James Hollis believes it is only in the second half of life that we can truly come to know who we are and thus create a life that has meaning. In Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life, Hollis explores the ways we can grow and evolve to fully become ourselves when the traditional roles of adulthood aren’t quite working for us, revealing a new way of uncovering and embracing our authentic selves. Offering wisdom to anyone facing a career that no longer seems fulfilling, a long-term relationship that has shifted, or family transitions that raise issues of aging and mortality, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life provides a reassuring message and a crucial bridge across this critical passage of adult development.

What resonated with a writer who attended The Ageist conference

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• By Diane Johnson FlynnCEO, Reboot AccelJuly 16, 2019

Credit: Adobe

I had the opportunity to speak at The Ageist conference in Los Angeles recently, a first-of-its-kind symposium to examine the economic and social impact of the modern 50+ demographic. What a dynamic, energized, well-connected community of people who want to change the world and live with purpose.

First, some facts about this market that shocked me. Did you know…

• Women over 55 are the fastest growing age/gender workforce category.  (Bureau of Labor Statistics)
• Participation by men over 55 in the workforce is expected to decline by 3% in the next 10 years. (Bureau of Labor Statistics)
• 74% of those over 65 plan to work, versus 14% in 1995. (Gallup Poll 2017)
• There are now more people over 65 than under 5 worldwide, making the aging population the No. 1 biggest economic opportunity. (And women are the primary consumers in many categories.)
• People 50+ will continue to grow over the next decade to the tune of 19 million, vs. a growth of only 6 million for the 18-49 population.

This means companies better take notice, because their workforce will be older and because this demographic represents a huge market opportunity.

My 7 Favorite Insights From The Ageist Conference

The following are my seven favorite insights from the speakers:

1. Don’t just design FOR us. Design WITH us. Paul Irving, chairman of the Milken Center for the Future of Aging, emphasized the importance of human-centered design, and that designing the best products and services for this older generation absolutely MUST include the end-users in the process.
2. People with a sense of purpose live 7.5 years longer. Purpose has more impact than any other intervention, like working out, vitamins, or healthy eating. In my coaching practice, I find that most people over 50 struggle to find purpose. I believe it’s why many women start their own entrepreneurial ventures, which provide meaning, flexibility, and social impact.
3. If you’re 50, you may only be halfway through your adult life. Bestselling author Chip Conleyhad this realization as he joined the Airbnb executive team at 52. Since then, he has adopted new sports and adventures, in addition to founding the Modern Elder Academy in Baja where all ages can celebrate life with like-minded lifelong learners. I am looking forward to co-hosting a women’s week there in January 2020 for those seeking reinvention.
4. We must move from reverence to relevance, and relevance is equal parts wisdom and curiosity. That’s Chip Conley’s guidance on how to work with those half your age. Relevance is earned by staying nimble and continually learning and growing.
5. Be a peer of whomever you are with. This advice from television producer Norman Lear at 95, who took up a new hobby every two years, is profound. Most people feel decades younger than they look, so connecting with multiple generations may be easier than you think.
6. Change INvisible to IMvisible. Those over 50 often feel invisible, whether it’s being ignored by the media, advertisers or the hiring manager. We all need to change that. A fellow panelist proudly displayed her beautiful long gray hair and said her mission is to change the narrative around appearance. Chip says that when we’re curious and passionate, the wrinkles fall away. We all have a responsibility to make ourselves relevant and visible, and each of us can do our part to shape the way this growing demographic is viewed.
7. “Where are the men?”  David Stewart, co-organizer of The Ageist conference, asked this provocative question after looking at the audience, about 80% of whom were women.

Why are so many women interested in finding purpose later in life? Speculation from The Financial Times suggests that women have more time after their children are grown, live longer and stay healthier than men, and their higher educational attainment (in absolute terms and relative to men) means that they are more likely to be in knowledge-based jobs that they can hold on to as they age.

Perhaps women also feel more purpose. Rep. Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, says, “What took me from the kitchen to Congress was knowing that one in five children in America lives in poverty. I just can’t stand that.”

(This article previously appeared on LinkedIn.)

 By Diane Johnson FlynnDiane Johnson Flynn is an avid reader, instructor and coach helping women live lives of impact. As co-founder and CEO of ReBoot Accel, she has helped thousands of women relaunch careers and consults with companies on best practices for supporting gender diversity in the workplace.    

THE SITUATION
In Washington , DC , at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning in 2007, this man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, approximately 2,000 people went
through the station, most of them on their way to work. After about 3 minutes, a middle-aged man noticed that there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then he hurried on to meet his schedule.

About 4 minutes later:
The violinist received his first dollar. A woman threw money in the
hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

At 6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

At 10 minutes:
A 3-year old boy stopped, but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time. This action was repeated by several other children, but every parent – without exception – forced their children to move on quickly.

At 45 minutes:
The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

After 1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed and no one applauded. There was no recognition at all. No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold-out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music.
This is a true story. Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the D.C. Metro Station, was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people’s priorities.
This experiment raised several questions:

*In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?

*If so, do we stop to appreciate it?

*Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made . . . how many other things are we missing as we rush through life?