Crabby Old Man – a poem worth reading

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in North
Platte, Nebraska, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they
found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies
were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her
copy to Missouri .

The old man’s sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the
Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for
Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple,
but eloquent, poem.

And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now
the author of this ‘anonymous’ poem winging across the Internet.

Crabby Old Man

What do you see nurses? . . .. .. . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . when you’re looking at me?
A crabby old man . . . . . not very wise,
Uncertain of habit . . . . . with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food . . . . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . ‘I do wish you’d try!’
Who seems not to notice . . .. . . the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . . . . lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . . . The long day to fill?
Is that what you’re thinking? . . . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .. . . . .. you’re not looking at me.

I’ll tell you who I am. . . . . . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . . as I eat at your will.
I’m a small child of Ten . . . . . with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . . . . who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen . . .. with wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now .. . . .. . a lover he’ll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . .. my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . .. that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . .. . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . … . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . . . With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons . . .. . . have grown and are gone,
But my woman’s beside me .. . . . . to see I don’t mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play ’round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . .. . my wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . . .. . .. young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . . . and the love that I’ve known.

I’m now an old man . . .. . and nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age . . .. . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . .. .. grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . . . where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass .. . . . . a young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . .. . . my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . .. . . I remember the pain.
And I’m loving and living . . … . . life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . . . . gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact .. . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . . . open and see.
Not a crabby old man .. . . Look closer . . . see ME!!

Midlife Transition: Changing the Way the World Views Midlife

When Social Security first came into being in 1935, our life span was thought to be about 70 years at most. Now, we have learned so much medically and nutritionally that people are living far longer. In 1776, someone born in the US was expected to live to about 35. Lifestyle and technical advances have more than doubled that figure. The National Institute of Aging projects that by the middle of the next century, life expectancy will be nearly 92 for women and 86 for men.

Today, more than 35 million are over the age of 65 (that’s about 1/7th of the population) and with the baby boomers coming of age, the Census Bureau in the US predicts that the over 70 million born between 1946 and 1964 will reach retirement age. One thing we can count on the current population to do is to redefine ‘middle age’.

Until recently, aging was regarded with disdain, with an expectancy of waning vigor and even social uselessness. But the stereotypes are changing and middle agers and seniors are becoming more and more interested in life- long learning, healthy lifestyles and political activism as well as new meaning for the later years of life. We are truly seeing a population reinventing itself and reinventing midlife. These changing conditions call for new ways of being, and new perspectives and new role models that we can follow to make certain that life doesn’t end at or after midlife. It is time to end the myth that Midlife is synonymous with “Crisis”. As a society, we have begun to somewhat change our views on aging, but we still have a way to go to arrive at a vision where we “change the way the world views midlife.”

Significance and Meaning in the Midlife Transition

Google sends me updates when someone else writes about the midlife transition.
This one particularly caught my attention, so I thought I’d share it with you today. It comes from a blog called The Fuel Depot…. It’s so apropos to our soul conversation these days..

Security to Significance
Yesterday, I had a wonderful lunch with an old high school buddy. Let me start off by saying I have really not kept up with any of my high school friends. He was in town and we met up to enjoy some Loco Mocos and a walking tour of the old campus.

I confess I was a bit nervous about our one-on-one reunion after 25 years had passed. People can change a lot in 25 years! Fortunately, my fears were for nothing as we easily struck up our conversation and didn’t stop laughing and sharing for 3 hours!

He caught me up with his life and the lives of many of my high school friends.

It got me thinking.

I heard somewhere that for men, their adult lives are often split into two phases: The Search for Security and The Search for Significance. After my meeting, the waters of my soul became muddied and disturbed. The “significance” questions kept floating to the top of my mind.

Another friend is living his dream, piloting choppers for 3 tours in Afghanistan while his photos appear worldwide via the Reuters news service. My visiting friend has lived all over the world, built several homes and does significant security work for large corporations and the military.

I can’t help but wonder about my life. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t covet THEIR life. That’s not me, and in fact, I am so very proud of the successes of my friends. However, I have to ask myself, am I doing the most that I can with my Time, Treasures and Talent? Am I being lazy or settling for less than my potential? Will my life matter?

Now I know these are classic mid-life crisis questions! I think the crisis happens when we as men transition from giving attention to questions about our financial security, over to questions about the significance of our lives and the self evaluation that results from that.

I want to make a difference. I want so much more for my family, my kids and my own experience of life! I want to value people and relationships more than I have. I want to be part of the solution and not part of the problem in the lives of people. I’m tired of letting negativity, sarcasm, or a bad attitude get a grip on my tongue. I want an experience of life that is deeper, “real”er, and more honest, a character that values other people as more important than myself.

Yet, I know that today, the toughest decision I’ll probably make is what kind of hot sauce to have with my burrito. The contrast of the lofty and the mundane in my life is stark.
That’s what is on my mind today, and I just had to get that out.

Wishing everybody
Peace, Love and Significance,
Rich

Thanks Rich, for your honesty. Our day to day lives get our attention more than the reality of our souls and their search for meaning and significance. How do we handle this? Take time each day? Take time each month? What do you do to give more attention to what’s really important in your life?
It makes a difference. It can help you avoid the midlife crisis!

Dr. Toni is an online spiritual life coach, female keynote speaker and best-selling author of “What You REALLY Want, Wants You”

The Shift – Wayne Dyer talks about The Midlife Transition

Last year I had the opportunity to hear Wayne Dyer speak at a Hay House event in Tampa. They showed a brief excerpt from the movie they were about to produce. At the time, it was called, “From Ambition to Meaning”. That certainly caught my attention, because I’ve been talking about spirituality in midlife and the fact that the midlife transition is a move from ambition to meaning. The movie certainly Continue reading “The Shift – Wayne Dyer talks about The Midlife Transition”