How to Change Your Life

Reinvent Yourself in Midlife

Posted on by Dr. Toni

Do you like your life the way it is? Would you like to change some, or all of it? Well, here’s good news: You can be whatever you want to be. You can re-invent yourself. I know because I did!

You may have a whole lifetime to undo or re-invent, but if you are determined, and ready to put in the effort, anything is possible. You can have a new you!

Here are 7 steps to a new, improved, re-invented you!

1) Make two detailed lists comprising: (a) all the things you like about yourself and want to keep, (b) all the things you don’t like about yourself and want to change. Examine both lists and ask yourself why you like what you like, and why you want to change what you want to change. Write out your answers as two separate statements. Keep these statements where you can see, and read them everyday.

2) Work on your “Want-to-Keep” list everyday. Keep on doing what you’ve been doing, and you’ll keep on getting what you’ve been getting! Also, work on your “Want-to-Change” list everyday, but in a different way. Take each item on this second list and re-state it as a goal. Remember your goals must be Specific (clear and unambiguous), Measurable (a specific weight, time, sum of money etc), Attainable (within your stated time frame and resources), Realistic (in your eyes) and Tangible (something you can perceive with your senses, not “imagine” with your mind!)

3) From your “Want-to-Change” list, identify your 3 most important goals, the ones that will make the most impact on your life, and bring about the new you. Write out a day-by-day, step-by-step plan for attaining each of these goals.

4) Identify possible pitfalls or obstacles to your plan. Set up contingency plans to circumvent these hurdles. Do not stop at them. No one can stop you from reaching those goals but you.

5) Take action on your plan. Work those goals! Even a small step on your plan each day will move you closer to the new you! If you fall behind, or fall out altogether, just think of the lovely new life you stand to gain if you would just try. Imagine what it would look and feel like to be the new you. Know in your heart that it is possible, but it is also up to you. You owe it to yourself to get back up and on with the program. Only time, patience and action separate you from your goal.

6) Reward yourself for progress. Forgive yourself for slip-ups. Then move on. No time for Pity Parties!

7) Stay motivated. Think on your reasons for wanting to make the change. Visualize the outcome of your goals, vividly. Hang out with people who encourage you to keep at it. Stay away from negative people, at least till you “get there!” Read motivational books, employ a coach to help you stay on track. Enlist a supportive friend, to rejoice with you at each success, and encourage you at each challenge.

That’s it! Re-inventing yourself will never be easy. You are going against patterns that may have been established for years. It will take determination, effort and patience, but it is possible, and ultimately rewarding.

I went through a process of re-invention a few years ago. I went from an overweight, unhealthy, plain-dressed, unfulfilled, job-holder, to a slim, trim, healthy, trendy, self-employed, fulfilled entrepreneur. Instead of holding a job, I now do my life’s work. I am working my own goals, and getting the results I desire. I am still not all that I want to be. But I am closer to my goals than to my starting point. No one will ever be “picture-perfect” in this life. But “fulfilled and satisfied” is the name of the game for me! And I sure am glad I had the courage to try.

People and circumstances will oppose you, saying, “It isn’t possible”, or, “Why can’t you just be satisfied with what you’ve got?” (The answer to that is, “Because I’m no ordinary person!”) But if you think your dreams are worth the effort, and you are willing to do what it takes, you can have whatever you want.

Dreams still do come true. And you don’t require a fairy god-mother! Setting and working your goals is how it works in the real world. So be bold, take action and enjoy the new you!

Copyright 2005 Oma Edoja

This article may be reprinted, but only if left as is, and must include the author’s bio below.

Oma Edoja is a published writer, motivational speaker and infopreneur. She works with those trying to take their lives to the next level, helping them set goals and stay on track. Would you like to re-invent your life? Oma is here to help you. She can be reached at proact04@yahoo.co.uk , and her blog: http://omaslounge.blogspot.com Contact Oma for a complimentary goal-setting session, checklist and motivation

Five Daily Self Improvement Practices to Change Your Life

Posted on by Dr. Toni

– By Warren Wojnowski

As a student of personal development and self improvement, you’ve no doubt come to the understanding that everything you achieve in life is fundamentally determined by your thinking. Thoughts are real things, which lead to a feeling, which lead to an action, which lead to an outcome. This is the basis by which you create your life.

So it stands to reason that no matter what you wish to create in your life, applying a consistent daily practice — a routine — that will promote good thinking habits can only serve you in creating more of what you want in life… and help to make you much more proficient at the same time.

In my experience, I’ve come to see the power of applying five very basic practices into my daily routine that have become strong habits and that have served to strengthen my ability to deliberately apply Law of Attraction in my life.

No doubt you’ve heard of all of these, but have you made them a daily habit for yourself in order to benefit from their combined power? Perhaps not.

If one or more of these elements is missing from your routine, you may find yourself struggling in one or more areas of your life.

* Self Improvement Habit #1: Regular self improvement time every day.

As John Henry Newman said, “Growth is the only evidence of life.” So contribute to your growth as a leader in your own life by spending focused time on your personal growth and development every day.

Or don’t, in which case you are really choosing to stop living.

Spend even just 20 minutes writing out your goals and affirmations. Listen to a CD. Read an inspiring book. Learn from the masters. Feed yourself every day with positive thoughts and messages.

Begin to integrate these things into your day and develop the habit of doing so daily. By doing so, you are feeding your mind in a positive way.

* Self Improvement Habit #2: Quiet your mind and then visualize your success every day.

Professional athletes and top business leaders know the power of visualization. Self help teachers through history have extolled the virtues of learning to quiet your mind with meditation.

At least once a day, take the time to quiet your mind and connect with whom you intend to be — the CEO of you, the leader of you, the inspiring leader of your own life who has massive results and success at whatever you choose.

Use a brief meditation to quiet the rampant mind chatter… take a couple of deep breaths, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing for even for just a couple of minutes. That’s all it needs to take.

Then visualize in your mind that you are achieving your goals. The goals needn’t be major; just ensure they reflect something you really want. Is it a new car? Great… visualize yourself looking at new cars. See and enter the dealership in your mind. Sit in the car in the showroom. Visualize yourself taking the car for a test drive. Where are you driving? How does it handle? How does the new car smell? Now visualize completing your offer sheet and choosing all the options you want. Picture yourself picking up the keys and taking delivery of your car.

Professional sprinters will visualize their entire race from entering the starting blocks, right through to the finish line. There’s incredible power in doing that.

You, too, will experience tremendous results just from taking five minutes each day to visualize yourself achieving what you want in specific detail. So find a time when you can be alone for five minutes and do it.

* Self Improvement Habit #3: Schedule one hour of core time.

Set aside one hour, which you’ve explicitly scheduled in your day, which is your uninterrupted time spent only on activities that will move you closer to your goals.

What are those activities? The more time you spend visualizing, the clearer the path to follow to get there will become. You will find yourself inspired to take actions — your inner voice will begin to guide you.

Perhaps it’s taking a course, or undertaking a project, or starting a home business… whatever the appropriate steps happen to be, they will become clear to you.

Just be sure to set aside the time to actually do them. If you can’t find the time, then get up an hour earlier or go to bed an hour later. No matter what, find the hour. And protect that hour jealously.

It is in this time that you ultimately make your dreams come true. It is this time that you are taking the action that needs to be taken.

* Self Improvement Habit #4: Lead yourself in everything you do.

Set the expectation of leadership in everything you do. What does this mean?

Simply, it means holding yourself accountable for actually doing what you say you intend to do. What’s the one action you can take today that helps to move your forward in the direction of your goals? You already know what it is because you’ve done the visualization. So the next thing for you to do is to actually do it.

Don’t wait for someone else to do it for you. Action is what makes it all come together. Consistently taking the action you’ve identified (which you can do in your scheduled core time) puts you in integrity with yourself and sends a clear signal to the Universe that you’re ready to begin receiving what you want.

* Self Improvement Habit #5: Mastermind with other people.

Spend time with others who are successful in what they do and are effective leaders. These may be people you already know, such as business associates, friends, or co-workers. Or you may need to start to make new friends and build new networks in your community.

Other leaders are easy to spot. They are successful. Build relationships with them. Exchange ideas. You learn the most from people who are already accomplishing that to which you aspire.

Make a point of hanging around with people who will help you get better. Spend at least 30 minutes masterminding every day. It may take the form of a phone conversation. Or a lunch. Or exchanging emails. Or listening to a presentation. Or joining a club or association.

It doesn’t matter so long as you make a habit of doing some kind of masterminding every day.

Consistently applying these five daily personal development habits will ensure you maintain a healthy mindset and high energy. They will make you more effective in all aspects of your life.

About the Author:

Building a daily personal development practice is one of the most powerful things you can do to propel you forward in your success. Warren Wojnowski is one of the great new teachers in the world of self improvement and personal success using universal law. Discover more great personal development resources and tools at his website: http://www.inspiredabundance.com

Navigating the Midlife Maze -Tips for Recharging Yourself

Posted on by Dr. Toni

From time to time, I like to share what other midlife blogs are saying… This one is something I know you’ll like…

by Ellen Besso, Personal Coach for Midlife Women

For those of us edging towards forty or fifty, our lives are often in major flux. There may be outward signs…our bodies aren’t quite the same weight or shape! Menstrual cycles change and stop. But the biggest change is within. We may feel like we’re not the woman we were…that we’re on the road to becoming someone very different. The “circuitry rewiring” that Dr. Christine Northrup speaks of changes every bodily system and organ, particularly the brain. This affects how we feel within ourselves and how we relate to others.

It can be a very confusing time. I know I certainly didn’t expect “it” to happen so soon. As the initial minor physical changes gave way to a deepening of experience I found I was affected on an emotional, mental and spiritual level as well. I really didn’t know what was going on, and even more importantly, where I was going in this rapidly accelerating process. The circuitry rewiring means that the part of our brain that mediates strong emotions is affected. This can result in an intensifying of our feelings and sometimes includes anger. It makes us more passionate about things. I feel that at this stage of our lives women do not tolerate fools as gladly as we may have once.

As our “nurturing hormones”, (as Northrup calls them) decrease, we may find we want to do more for ourselves rather than others. This could take the form of exploring new avenues, reviving old interests, meeting with friends who relate to us or simply being quietly alone with ourselves in our home or in nature. The changes within us, manifesting outwardly as different behaviours and actions, don’t always get a favourable reception from family members and others. It’s human nature to dislike change, especially when those close to us change and it impacts us. And when one family member (us) changes it has a domino effect on everyone else. This is basic ‘family systems’ theory and it can apply to friendships and work groups as well as families.

So how to find solutions that work for us amidst all this upheaval? How to balance our needs with our family, work and other commitments? This article is meant to help you find balance in your busy lives…to find room for you. By following some of the suggestions below you can re-prioritize so that you are meeting your own needs in all areas: body, mind and spirit. You, and you alone are responsible for your well-being in every aspect of your life. If you don’t look after yourself, no one else will and you will burn out physically, mentally and/or spiritually. You’ll be a very unhappy camper, and those around you will pay a price also. I’ve seem many women in this position.

Take These Steps to Re-charge Yourself:

Always put yourself first: (after the needs of young, dependent children have been met)
This will sound like heresy to many women. Women are commonly by nature and training nurturers. We stretch ourselves too thin. Many of the things we do for our families, co-workers, friends and the organizations we belong to can be done by others, however. For example, at home, kids can do their own laundry. Before committing to responsibilities in service clubs, churches or extra tasks at work, always check in with yourself. Take a deep breath, hold it then exhale a couple of times. Then ask yourself “Is this truly the way I want to spend my time?” Or is it a knee-jerk reaction from habit? Chances are at least 50% of the time your answer will be a resounding “No!”

Prioritize immediately & regularly: Make a list of everything you have to do this week; don’t leave anything out. Rate truly non-negotiable items as #1. It’s imperative that you give your personal time a #1. Think of it as the “pay yourself first” approach recommended for savings accounts. Without monitoring yourself rate the others from #2 to #10. Ruthlessly eliminate at least 25% of the highest numbered tasks.

With the remaining tasks or duties use the following 3 options:

Do them less often;
Do them for shorter periods of time; or
Don’t do them at all.
For example, even with your job, you can, if you choose, give yourself a day off occasionally, even if your not “sick to dying”, as an old friend used to say. Consider it a ‘mental health day’. Note: Always keep your options open – it’s okay to change your mind about doing something you’ve planned if it doesn’t feel right to you. This exercise is adapted from Martha Beck, PhD.

Schedule time for you daily & take yourself on a weekly date:
Create a time that’s just for you each day, even if it’s only 30 minutes. Soothe yourself with a warm candlelit bubble bath, read a favourite book, journal or contemplate. It’s crucial to have a quiet space that’s yours and yours alone. There was a woman featured on the Oprah Show who converted a walk-in closet into her sanctuary. It was complete with soft lighting and a comfortable chair, and family members understood they could not interrupt her there. Once a week take a leaf from Julia Cameron’s book and plan a 2-3 hour solo outing doing something you love to do. I guarantee that these things will make a difference in your life.

Look after yourself body, mind and spirit:
Eating can be quite simple…really. When we’re overloaded, rushed and stressed, we often make food choices that may not be the healthiest for us. Many women feel better eating lightly and frequently, including lots of fruit, vegetables and vegetarian protein as well as a little animal protein. This diet is good for kids and partners too. Spending a little time outside in nature daily, doing light exercise, reading uplifting articles or books and quietly meditating or contemplating feeds us body, mind and spirit.

Be open and transparent about your needs:
Let others know at home, at work and in your organizations that you are making changes in your life to allow time for you. Give as much or as little information as feels appropriate to the situation. Many of us were brought up in families where the ability to mind read was expected. But in truth, none of us knows anyone else’s reality. We need to tell each other what’s going on for us, not make assumptions or feel resentful. Given a little time, most people will adjust to our requests for change if they are “put in the loop”.

Carve out some relationship time each week: (for those in committed relationships)
‘Life in the fast lane’ takes a toll on relationships. Many of us do nothing but work and take care of family and at night then fall into bed exhausted. It’s hard to take time away from these important responsibilities to do something “discretionary” when we feel maxed out. It is worth it though. Even a 30 to 60 minute “coffee date” with our partner takes us away from our daily lives into a new environment, and therefore new possibilities. Try it, you’ll see!

If you have any feedback about these Tips for Recharging, or any questions, please contact me at:

info@ellenbesso.com
800 961 1364 – North America
604 886 1916 – Gibsons, BC