What is So Good About Growing Old

Forget about senior moments. The great news is that researchers are discovering some surprising advantages of aging
By Helen Fields
Smithsonian magazine, July 2012,
Scientists are finding the mind gets sharper at a number of vitally important abilities as you get older.
Karsten Thormaehlen

Even as certain mental skills decline with age—what was that guy’s name again?—scientists are finding the mind gets sharper at a number of vitally important abilities. In a University of Illinois study, older air traffic controllers excelled at their cognitively taxing jobs, despite some losses in short-term memory and visual spatial processing. How so? They were expert at navigating, juggling multiple aircraft simultaneously and avoiding collisions.

People also learn how to deal with social conflicts more effectively. For a 2010 study, researchers at the Univer- sity of Michigan?presented “Dear Abby” letters to 200?people and asked what advice they would give. Subjects in their 60s were better than younger ones at imagining different points of view, thinking of multiple resolutions and suggesting compromises.

It turns out that man- aging emotions is a skill in itself, one that takes many of us decades to master. For a study published this year, German researchers had people play a gambling game meant to induce regret. Unlike 20-somethings, those in their 60s didn’t agonize over losing, and they were less likely to try to redeem their loss by later taking big risks.

These social skills may bring huge benefits. In 2010, researchers at Stony Brook University analyzed a telephone?survey of hundreds of thousands of Americans and found that people over 50 were happier overall, with anger declining steadily from the 20s through the 70s and stress falling off a cliff in the 50s.

This may be news to people who equate being old with being sad and alone, but it fits with a body of work by Laura Carstensen, a psychologist at Stanford. She led a study that followed people ages 18 to 94 for a decade and found that they got happier and their emotions bounced around less. Such studies reveal that negative emotions such as sadness, anger and fear become less pronounced than in our drama-filled younger years.

Cornell sociologist Karl Pillemer and co-workers interviewed about 1,200 older people for the book 30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans. “Many people said something along these lines: ‘I wish I’d learned to enjoy life on a daily basis and enjoy the moment when I was in my 30s instead of my 60s,’” he says. Elderly interviewees are likely to “describe the last five or ten years as the happiest years of their lives.”

“We have a seriously negative stereotype of the 70s and beyond,” says Pillemer, “and that stereotype is typically incorrect.”

Read more: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/What-is-So-Good-About-Growing-Old.html#ixzz1yjtluj00

Fear of Aging – by Keith Wommack

What we fear can only keep us in captivity
Keith Wommack, In Your Words

Recently, when asked, “What can fear do to you?” I was reminded of two experiences.

The first started with me asking a Sunday school class of first-graders: “What would you say if someone wanted you to pray for them?”

A visitor to the class, a young girl, spoke up and confidently said, “I would tell them that they were safe in God’s pocket.”

A few hours later, my phone rang. A man who had a physical problem asked me to pray for him. Because the girl’s simple but confident response had so impressed me, and because I understand the cause of most problems to be fear, I was led to say, “You are safe in God’s pocket.”

He began to cry and hung up, without giving his name.

A week later, he called back to report he’d been healed of the physical problem the instant he hung up the phone. He also stated that for the next few days, every time he tried to smoke cigarettes, they tasted terrible. Not only had he been healed of the physical trouble, he’d stopped a long time habit of smoking, as well.

Yes, the girl’s pure trust in God’s constant care inspired a prayer that erased the man’s fear.

The second experience I was reminded of took place when I stepped out of a dressing room and into a packed church auditorium. I was suddenly nervous. Anxiously, I stepped over to a chair, sat and waited for the prelude music to finish.

My fear was puzzling. I had freely performed in a rock band in front of small and large audiences for many years. And although I was about to conduct my first church service of a three-year term, I was prepared. Everything I needed to conduct the service was in place on the podium. There was nothing to worry about.

Then, while the music continued, I recognized that the fear wasn’t mine but rather waves of sympathy from the audience. Many people have a fear of public speaking, and I was mentally sensing this fear.

I affirmed to myself that the fear wasn’t mine, and that I didn’t have to suffer from the thoughts of others.

When the music stopped, I stepped up and began the service. Immediately, the fear vanished. I found that I had the ability to stop being afraid. I could stop being a victim of fear.

What can fear do to you? It seems a lot. Anxiety, fear and worry can be mentally and physically harmful. Jere Daniel in a Psychology Today column, “Learning to Love Growing Old,” wrote, “Fear of aging speeds the very decline we dread most. And it ultimately robs our life of any meaning.”

I’m discovering that we experience what we think and that fear seems to be able to negatively touch every part of the body, if we allow it. I’ve found it effective to filter my thoughts through spiritual reasoning. Many call this prayer.

As I was listening to the prelude music in the church auditorium, I realized that fear was not a power to be battled with and defeated. The thought, “I am afraid,” was not mine. Not only did I affirm mentally that the fear wasn’t mine, I also knew that no power apart from God could govern my being.

If one glances through the King James version of the Bible, it is hard not to spot one of the 70 times “Fear not” appears. The second book of Timothy has helped me when I’ve been afraid. It states in part, “God has not given us a spirit of fear. But he has given us a spirit of power and love and self-control.”

Jeff Levin, in his book, “God, Faith, and Health: Exploring the Spirituality Healing Connection,” writes, “The best study conducted to date on the topic of religious attendance and health found the most amazing results. It showed that the protective effects of frequent participation in church can last a lifetime. … Published in the American Journal of Public Health, [one] study found that frequent religious attenders had greater survival rates — that is, lower mortality — that extended over a twenty-eight-year period. Frequent religious attendance in 1965 was still reducing the risk of dying in 1994.”

If we are children of God, a fearing soul is not who we really are. Fear keeps us from living freely as spiritual beings. However, fear disappears when we glimpse our identity as the image of the divine.

Keith Wommack is a syndicated columnist, Christian Science practitioner and teacher, husband and stepdad. He is a legislative liaison for spiritual healing and Christian Science in Texas.

http://www.statesman.com/life/faith/what-we-fear-can-only-keep-us-in-2402785.html

Now I Become Myself

Now I become myself. It’s taken
Time, many years and places;
I have been dissolved and shaken,
Worn other people’s faces,
Run madly, as if Time were there,
Terribly old, crying a warning,
“Hurry, you will be dead before –”
(What? Before you reach the morning?
Or the end of the poem is clear?
Or love safe in the walled city?)
Now to stand still, to be here,
Feel my own weight and density!
The black shadow on the paper
Is my hand; the shadow of a word
As thought shapes the shaper
Falls heavy on the page, is heard.
All fuses now, falls into place
From wish to action, word to silence,
My work, my love, my time, my face
Gathered into one intense
Gesture of growing like a plant.
As slowly as the ripening fruit
Fertile, detached, and always spent,
Falls but does not exhaust the root,
So all the poem is, can give,
Grows in me to become the song,
Made so and rooted by love.
Now there is time and Time is young.
O, in this single hour I live
All of myself and do not move.
I, the pursued, who madly ran,
Stand still, stand still, and stop the sun!

– Reprinted from Selected Poems of May Sarton edited by Serena Sue Hilsinger and Lois Brynes; W.W. Norton & Company; 1978–

Death Makes Life Possible

I’m in the midst of creating a new product which is all about Conscious Aging and overcoming the fear of aging. Of course, that includes overcoming the fear of death as well. I’ve been reading a lot lately about this and as baby boomers age, the conversation gets more prevalent. I recently came across a new film that addresses this issue.  Here’s the trailer:

 

 

Guest post on Mindful Aging

Mindful Aging
by Lenore Flynn

In two days I will celebrate my 59 birthday. For most of my adult life I have viewed my birthday as a day to rejoice. All the things that have been my life have sprung from that day. I love to think of my parents on that Sunday morning happy at my arrival; my mother always said I gave her the perfect family she wanted, 2 boys and 2 girls. I am sad she is no longer here to wish me a happy day.

Some years it is a day I indulge myself in whatever I want: shopping, a massage, eating something I like, going to the movies. Some years it is a day to reflect. This year it seems like it will be for reflection.

In Buddhist practice there are 5 Recollections recited as part of the daily liturgy. They are a call to be mindful of impermanence. Thinking things will stay the way they are is the path to disappointment.

The first recollection is “I am of the nature to age, I will grow old.” This one is so easy to forget when you are young and healthy. You don’t want to remember it. Our culture rallies against it. I recently subscribed to a health magazine as a favor to a neice and page after page is about how to look younger, fight off the aging process. As if appearence really had anything to do with health and aging; I am going to age no matter how healthy I am or how good I look.

The second recollection is “I am of the nature to be sick, I will grow ill.” This human existence has its price and that is this body will get sick and need care. I bring this one to mind when I get sick and find myself fighting with my illness in anger. This poor body maintains as best it can and cannot escape its nature. We should be compassionate toward our bodies.

The third recollection is “I am of the nature to die, someday I will die.” Pretty grim for most people. The denial of this truth causes so many problems. Not that we need to embrace death ahead of time but to acknowledge its reality and inevitability gives us an impetus to pay attention. The Zen tradition admonishes the practitioner that death comes quickly so don’t squander your life. Today, right now, pay attention. Wake up!

The fourth recollection is “All that is mine, beloved and pleasing, will be separated from me.” Nothing is yours, really. No thing and no body will go with you when you pass away from this life. Anyone who has been alive for any time has watch a parade of things and bodies come and go. This is advice against holding on, clinging to things. We cling to ideas, possessions, loved ones, ways of life.

The last is about karma. A popular idea nowadays but a really important one. “I own my karma, I am born from my karma. Whatever I do, for good or ill, of that I will be the heir.” This is the call to mindful in every action, every interaction. This isn’t a tally system (you did this so you get that); it is more about the fact that an action causes a reaction; your actions put things in motion. Generate good.

So on the eve of this year’s birthday, I am recollecting my good fortune to be able to know these things and take them to heart. To appreciate and be grateful for the wonderful, beautiful things I have seen, felt and heard. To appreciate and be grateful that I live in safety, warmth and knowing. I can watch my resistance to some of these recollections; I certainly want to be ageless, healthy, eternal, and never separated from people and things I love. Mindfulness of these recollections is not morbid or depressing unless we make it so. If we make the fact the sun comes up every morning depressing it would be no different; it will still come up. What we can choose is whether the light shines on us or not.