| NEW DIMENSIONS IN SPIRITUALITY, RELIGION AND AGING, By Vern Bengtson and Merril Silverstein (Routledge, 2018). AGING: An Apprenticeship, edited by Nan Narboe (Red Notebook, 2017). MY LIFE AFTER WORK: Retiring from Work, Not Life, by Leona Bergstrom et al (ChurchHealth, 2019). |
Books & Movies on Aging Gracefully
Redwood Highway – James Twyman
Newsletter April 26, 2013
The Golden Indigos have arrived,
and is FINISHED!
Two weeks ago Redwood Highway was screened at the Ashland International Film Festival, and the response was immediate: A New Genre Was Born! It’s time to release many more inspiring films for seniors and the Boomer generation, movies that deal with the issues that are important to their lives. Most films today are made for fifteen year old boys, which makes it hard to find quality entertainment, let alone films that are inspirational. That is all about to change.
(want to see the trailer for Redwood Highway? Just go to www.jamestwyman.com)
This is the only thing I’m interested in now – promoting what I call “Senior Cinema.” In December my grandmother passed away in the senior community where she lived, then a month later my mother passed as well. As a way of honoring them, I’ve decided to devote all my energy to this generation, simply because they deserve it – and because we deserve them! The wisdom of the Golden Indigos is so needed today, and of course, they need us as well.
The Best Books on Aging
There are thousands of books that promise you need not grow old. They usually come with such phrases in their titles as Forever Young, Growing Younger, Ending Aging, Turn Back the Clock, Secrets to Staying Young and the ever-popular Anti-Aging.
Mostly, they are filled with denial and a lot of wishful thinking. Oh, they or they encourage you to start moving around – always a good idea – but they are really selling immortality on earth which we know is not the truth.
If, on the other hand, you are curious about what it’s really like to grow old, how your late years differ from youth and midlife, and want to learn to accept the process of aging – even amidst a culture that does everything possible to marginalize the old and make us invisible – you can’t go wrong with the books listed below. Very soon, mine will be listed among them. YEAH!
I have read a hundreds of books on aging and although there are other good ones, these few are some of the best. They have been published over a period of more than 30 years and are the collected wisdom and knowledge of writers – thinkers and activists who aim a bright, shining light onto the realities of getting old.
Each title links to its page at Amazon.com because it’s a good bet the book book will actually be there. I have often found that at other online booksellers, the price is lower so check around. Amazon is just a convenience.
The Art of Aging, A Doctor’s Prescription for Well-Being
By Sherwin B. Nuland, a deeply intelligent and compassionate book about how we grow old.
”We have arrived at a time and place in our lives where we muist study ourselves as we have never done before, take care of ourselves, and be attuned to ourselves in ways that are new to us and sometimes burdensome.”
The Creative Age: Awakening Human Potential in the Second Half of Life
By Gene D. Cohen, M.D. Although I sometimes think he is overly optimistic about how people can age, this is a remarkably smart book that shatters many of the negative beliefs about getting old.
”…certain qualities of mind and action in adulthood that are developmental in nature unfold in their own good time and offer unique and exciting potential for us as we grow older. Wisdom comes to us this way, largely a developmental product of age, smarts, and emotion and practical life experience.”
The Fountain of Age
By the mother of modern feminism, Betty Friedan, published in 1993. Hard going to read, but rewarding for the effort.
“The pursuit of youth was blinding us to the possibilities of age. Could denial of our own aging block further growth, foreclose the emergence of a new life otherwise open to us?”
From Age-ing to Sage-ing
By Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi published in 1997, and you don’t have to be Jewish to like Reb Zalman.
“As an alternative to inevitable senescence, this book proposes a new model of late-life development called sage-ing, a process that enables older people to become spiritually radiant, physically vital, and socially responsible ‘elders of the tribe.'”
Journal of a Solitude
Secondarily, these two by her: At Seventy: A Journal and Encore: A Journal of the Eightieth Year
“When I am alone the flowers are really seen; I can pay attention to them. They are felt as presences. Without them I would die…they change before my eyes. They live and die in a few days; they keep me closely in touch with the process, with growth, and also with dying. I am floated on their moments.”
The Last Gift of Time: Life Beyond Sixty
By Carolyn G. Heilbrun whom you may also know by her mystery-writer pseudonym, Amanda Cross.
“I, who had thought only of the rite of passage at fifty, have now discovered, at seventy, that the past ten years, the years of my sixties, were in their turn notably rewarding…I was savoring a combination of serenity and activity that had hardly been publicly attributed, as least as far as I could discern, to women in their seventh decade. There seemed to be few accounts depicting the pleasures of this time of life.”
The Longevity Revolution
By geriatrician, Dr. Robert N. Butler, who died in 2010. He gave TGB an excellent interview about this book in April 2008.
“…the tragic case of September 11, 2001, in New York City. Animal activists evacuated dogs and cats within twenty-four hours after the World Trade Center was attacked, while disabled or older persons were abandoned in their apartments for up to seven days before ad hoc medical teams arrived to rescue them.”
The Long History of Old Age
Edited by Pat Thane, this is a fascinating overview of what is known about how (mostly) European old people lived from ancient Greece and Rome through the 20th century.
”Separation of families because of movement around the country or the world is not, as is often thought, a fact only of modern life. In the distant past people did not always live out their lives in one place; and when they left, in the days before mass communication and mass literacy, links with home and family might be lost forever.”
My Twice-Lived Life
By Donald M. Murray, a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist who, until his death in 2006, wrote a wide-ranging and personal column about old age for The Boston Globe.
”But please allow us, children, to talk about what makes you uncomfortable. It is one way we deal with the inevitable. We need to talk about our not wanting to end up in a nursing home, whether we want cremation or burial, when to pull the plug. Denial works only so far, then reality…strips away the illusion of immortality.”
Old Age
By Simone de Beauvoir and first published in French in 1970 which succeeds well in her goal to express the experience of elders’ everyday lives at her particular time in history.
”[Old age] changes the individual’s relationship with time and therefore his relationship with the world and with his own history…as at every other period of his life, his status is imposed upon him by the society to which he belong.”
Old Age, Journey Into Simplicity
By Helen M. Luke, this is an invaluable reflection on old age through Luke’s interpretation of the writings of Homer, Shakespeare, T.S. Eliot and others.
”As a man grows old, his body weakens, his powers fail, his sight perhaps is dimmed, his hearing fades, or his power to move around is taken from him. In one way or another he is ‘imprisoned,’ and the moment of choice will come to him. Will he fight this confining process or will he go to meet in in the spirit of King Lear…”
Somewhere Toward the End, A Memoir
By Diana Athill who won a potful of awards for this honest, forthright and funny take on aging and life.
”She expected old age to make her miserable, and it did, although once she was immersed in it she expressed her misery by complaining about other and lesser things, the big one itself being too much to contemplate – although she did once say that what kept panic at bay was her suicide kit.”
Still Here: Embracing Aging, Changing, and Dying
By Ram Dass, the spiritual teacher who has and continues to helps show people of all faiths and no faith ways to growth and peace within themselves.
”As we age, we believe what we’re trained to believe about how old people think and live…And yet we have the power to age as we choose, and to use our changing circumstances to benefit the world and how it determines the quality of life.”
The Summer of a Dormouse
By British playwright, novelist and barrister, John Mortimer, who is also the author of the Rumpole of the Bailey series of stories.
“The time will come in your life, it will most certainly come, when the voice of God will thunder at you from a cloud, ‘From this day forth thou shalt not be able to put on thine own socks.'”
Travels with Epicurus, A Journey to a Greek Island in Search of a Fulfilled Life
By Daniel Klein. This inquiry into how to live a satisfying old age is brand new in 2012 but I believe it will stand the test of time.
“’Forever Young’ was my generation’s theme song, and unreflectively I had been singing along with them…But something about this new philosophy of old age does not sit right with me…I suspect that if I were to take this popular route, I would deny myself a unique and invaluable stage of life.”
What Are Old People For?
By geriatrician William H. Thomas who served, for a period of time, as the official geriatrician of this blog and for whom I continue to be grateful for his untiring advocacy on behalf of elders.
“…practically speaking, there is no elderhood into which we can be admitted. This absence cannot be described as a careless oversight. We live in a society that denies the legitimacy of old age and has little tolerance for those who dare to suppose that crones and sages could inspire us as models of healthy human development.”
Why Survive? Being Old in America
Another by Dr. Robert N. Butler who coined the term “ageism.” This book, published in 1975, won the Pulitzer Prize.
“Next is the sense of life experience. This is marked by a broadening perspective and by personal growth. One comes, in part at least, to know what life is all about.”
The Spiritual Dimensions of Conscious Aging
Book, Video, and Audio Resources
By Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat
A “senior boom” is happening in American life, and it’s getting bigger by the day. Until very recently, most of the attention paid to this phenomenon has focused on retirement options, pension plans, health care challenges, medical ethics, and research on the biology of aging and the prolongation of life. Surveying recent books, films, and spoken-word audios about later life, we have noticed a number of hopeful signs that signal a broadening and deepening of the way we see the senior years. The added element is an interest in their spiritual dimensions. Here’s a sampling of these new views of aging. (Click on the link to read the full review.)
BOOKS
Age Power: How the 21st Century Will Be Ruled by the New Old by Ken Dychtwald (Tarcher/Putnam, 1999)
— Here is a wakeup call intended to offer preventative solutions to the age-related questions we face as individuals and as a society. “How we decide to behave as elders will,” writes Dychtwald, “in all likelihood, become the most important challenge we will face in our lives.”
Another Country: Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Our Elders by Mary Pipher (Riverhead, 1999)
— This informative and salutary work is designed to help forge ties between the baby boom generation and their parents, who are now residing in the country of old age.
The Force of Character and the Lasting Life by James Hillman (Random House, 1999)
— This imaginative, compelling, and always thought-provoking volume turns conventional ideas about aging upside down. In three bold sections, the best-selling author of The Soul’s Code shows how our characters are enriched, deepened, and made meaningful by long life.
From Age-ing to Sage-ing by Zalman Schachter-Shalomi and Ronald Miller (Warner, 1997)
— The Jewish elder who coined the term “spiritual eldering” presents his thoughts on the last stage of life. This is a time to for men and women to “contemplate their life journey, harvest the wisdom of their years, and transmit a legacy to future generations.”
Gray Heroes: Elder Tales from Around the World by Jane Yolen, editor (Penguin Books, 1999)
— The editor has gathered a fascinating batch of stories from different cultures about “elders who wear their years well.” The tales are divided into four sections: wisdom, trickery, adventure, and a little bit of love.
On Women Turning 70: Honoring the Voices of Wisdom by Cathleen Rountree (Jossey-Bass Publishers, 1999)
— Sixteen extraordinary women tell their stories and share their feelings on turning 70.
Passion for Life: Lifelong Psychological and Spiritual Growth by Anne Brennan and Janice Brewi (Continuum, 1999)
— With the doubling of life expectancy since the beginning of the twentieth century, men and woman are challenged to become “architects of their own aging.” The second half of life has become an arena for continued growth and development, i.e. soul-making.
Spiritual Passages: Embracing Life’s Sacred Journey by Drew Leder (Tarcher/Putnam, 1997)
— The author taps into all the world’s religions for insights into qualities which can be unfurled by elders. He presents a substantive and sacred model for aging that celebrates self-exploration, change, service, suffering, transformation, and facing death.
A Time to Live: Seven Steps of Creative Aging by Robert Raines (Plume, 1998)
— The former director of Kirkridge Retreat and Study Center has written a bright and buoyant volume about the art of creative aging. He masterfully sets anecdotes from his own life alongside poignant illustrative material from contemporary novels, films, and political events.
Toward Holy Ground: Spiritual Directions for the Second Half of Life by Margaret Guenther (Cowley, 1995)
— The author uses St. Anne as a model and wisdom figure for later life when ambiguity, service of others, and wonder are given free play.
Understanding Men’s Passages: Discovering the New Map of Men’s Lives by Gail Sheehy (Ballantine, 1999)
— The bestselling author presents a rounded portrait of the different stages of “second adulthood” for men including “the fearless fifties” and “the influential sixties.”
VIDEOS
I’m Not Rappaport (MCA/Universal, 1996)
— This feisty drama revolves around an 81-year-old Jewish radical who is a modern-day Don Quixote fighting injustice. He and his best friend have to stand up for themselves in a society that seems determined to treat elders as if they were invisible.
Men With Guns (Columbia TriStar, 1998)
— A common task in old age is to secure one’s legacy. A wealthy physician in an unnamed Latin American country who is nearing retirement decides to visit the medical students he trained to serve poor villagers in the countryside. His quest opens and softens his heart.
Nobody’s Fool (Paramount, 1995)
— This movie shows that the last stage of life can be one of personal renewal. A crusty and cantankerous handyman in a small town discovers that it is never too late to stir the ashes and light up your life with the glow that comes from love of family and friends.
The Shell Seekers (Republic Pictures, 1994)
— A 63-year-old Englishwoman suffers a heart attack and is compelled to review her life and her view of happiness.
The Straight Story (Walt Disney Home Video, 1999)
— Alvin Straight is a stubborn and highly principled 73-year-old Iowan who sets out on his John Deere lawnmower to visit his estranged brother who has suffered a heart attack in Wisconsin. His deep yearning for reconciliation gives him the energy and strength he needs to fulfill his mission.
Strangers in Good Company. (Touchstone, 1991)
— A group of long-lived women take shelter in an abandoned farmhouse when their tour bus breaks down. While they wait for other transportation, they share the stories of their lives with each other.
Waking Ned Devine (Fox, 1999)
— In this comedy set in a small village in Ireland, two of the town’s elders creatively expand the possibilities for community life.
SPOKEN-WORD AUDIO
Conscious Aging: A Creative and Spiritual Journey by Various Speakers (Sounds True, 1992)
— Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, Marion Woodman, Maggie Kuhn, Ram Dass, and Bernie Siegel present their ideas on elders as bearers of wisdom, healing, creativity, and vision. This audio program was taped during a conference at the Omega Institute.
The Second Half of Life: The Blossoming of Your Creative Self by Angeles Arrien (Sounds True, 1998)
— This teacher and cultural anthropologist explores the three major themes of elderhood: generativity, intimacy, and creativity. This six-cassette package is filled with soul-stirring stories and spiritual practices from indigenous peoples and Greek mythology.