Dr. Toni

The Best Books on Aging

Posted on by Dr. Toni

There are thousands of books that promise you need not grow old. They usually come with such phrases in their titles as Forever Young, Growing Younger, Ending Aging, Turn Back the Clock, Secrets to Staying Young and the ever-popular Anti-Aging.

Mostly, they are filled with denial and a lot of wishful thinking. Oh, they or they encourage you to start moving around – always a good idea – but they are really selling immortality on earth which we know is not the truth.

If, on the other hand, you are curious about what it’s really like to grow old, how your late years differ from youth and midlife, and want to learn to accept the process of aging – even amidst a culture that does everything possible to marginalize the old and make us invisible – you can’t go wrong with the books listed below. Very soon, mine will be listed among them. YEAH!

I have read a hundreds of books on aging and although there are other good ones, these few are some of the best. They have been published over a period of more than 30 years and are the collected wisdom and knowledge of writers – thinkers and activists who aim a bright, shining light onto the realities of getting old.

Each title links to its page at Amazon.com because it’s a good bet the book book will actually be there. I have often found that at other online booksellers, the price is lower so check around. Amazon is just a convenience.

The Art of Aging, A Doctor’s Prescription for Well-Being
By Sherwin B. Nuland, a deeply intelligent and compassionate book about how we grow old.

”We have arrived at a time and place in our lives where we muist study ourselves as we have never done before, take care of ourselves, and be attuned to ourselves in ways that are new to us and sometimes burdensome.”

The Creative Age: Awakening Human Potential in the Second Half of Life
By Gene D. Cohen, M.D. Although I sometimes think he is overly optimistic about how people can age, this is a remarkably smart book that shatters many of the negative beliefs about getting old.

”…certain qualities of mind and action in adulthood that are developmental in nature unfold in their own good time and offer unique and exciting potential for us as we grow older. Wisdom comes to us this way, largely a developmental product of age, smarts, and emotion and practical life experience.”

The Fountain of Age
By the mother of modern feminism, Betty Friedan, published in 1993. Hard going to read, but rewarding for the effort.

“The pursuit of youth was blinding us to the possibilities of age. Could denial of our own aging block further growth, foreclose the emergence of a new life otherwise open to us?”

From Age-ing to Sage-ing
By Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi published in 1997, and you don’t have to be Jewish to like Reb Zalman.

“As an alternative to inevitable senescence, this book proposes a new model of late-life development called sage-ing, a process that enables older people to become spiritually radiant, physically vital, and socially responsible ‘elders of the tribe.'”

Journal of a Solitude
Secondarily, these two by her: At Seventy: A Journal and Encore: A Journal of the Eightieth Year

“When I am alone the flowers are really seen; I can pay attention to them. They are felt as presences. Without them I would die…they change before my eyes. They live and die in a few days; they keep me closely in touch with the process, with growth, and also with dying. I am floated on their moments.”

The Last Gift of Time: Life Beyond Sixty
By Carolyn G. Heilbrun whom you may also know by her mystery-writer pseudonym, Amanda Cross.

“I, who had thought only of the rite of passage at fifty, have now discovered, at seventy, that the past ten years, the years of my sixties, were in their turn notably rewarding…I was savoring a combination of serenity and activity that had hardly been publicly attributed, as least as far as I could discern, to women in their seventh decade. There seemed to be few accounts depicting the pleasures of this time of life.”

The Longevity Revolution
By geriatrician, Dr. Robert N. Butler, who died in 2010. He gave TGB an excellent interview about this book in April 2008.

“…the tragic case of September 11, 2001, in New York City. Animal activists evacuated dogs and cats within twenty-four hours after the World Trade Center was attacked, while disabled or older persons were abandoned in their apartments for up to seven days before ad hoc medical teams arrived to rescue them.”

The Long History of Old Age
Edited by Pat Thane, this is a fascinating overview of what is known about how (mostly) European old people lived from ancient Greece and Rome through the 20th century.

”Separation of families because of movement around the country or the world is not, as is often thought, a fact only of modern life. In the distant past people did not always live out their lives in one place; and when they left, in the days before mass communication and mass literacy, links with home and family might be lost forever.”

My Twice-Lived Life
By Donald M. Murray, a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist who, until his death in 2006, wrote a wide-ranging and personal column about old age for The Boston Globe.

”But please allow us, children, to talk about what makes you uncomfortable. It is one way we deal with the inevitable. We need to talk about our not wanting to end up in a nursing home, whether we want cremation or burial, when to pull the plug. Denial works only so far, then reality…strips away the illusion of immortality.”

Old Age
By Simone de Beauvoir and first published in French in 1970 which succeeds well in her goal to express the experience of elders’ everyday lives at her particular time in history.

”[Old age] changes the individual’s relationship with time and therefore his relationship with the world and with his own history…as at every other period of his life, his status is imposed upon him by the society to which he belong.”

Old Age, Journey Into Simplicity
By Helen M. Luke, this is an invaluable reflection on old age through Luke’s interpretation of the writings of Homer, Shakespeare, T.S. Eliot and others.

”As a man grows old, his body weakens, his powers fail, his sight perhaps is dimmed, his hearing fades, or his power to move around is taken from him. In one way or another he is ‘imprisoned,’ and the moment of choice will come to him. Will he fight this confining process or will he go to meet in in the spirit of King Lear…”

Somewhere Toward the End, A Memoir
By Diana Athill who won a potful of awards for this honest, forthright and funny take on aging and life.

”She expected old age to make her miserable, and it did, although once she was immersed in it she expressed her misery by complaining about other and lesser things, the big one itself being too much to contemplate – although she did once say that what kept panic at bay was her suicide kit.”

Still Here: Embracing Aging, Changing, and Dying
By Ram Dass, the spiritual teacher who has and continues to helps show people of all faiths and no faith ways to growth and peace within themselves.

”As we age, we believe what we’re trained to believe about how old people think and live…And yet we have the power to age as we choose, and to use our changing circumstances to benefit the world and how it determines the quality of life.”

The Summer of a Dormouse
By British playwright, novelist and barrister, John Mortimer, who is also the author of the Rumpole of the Bailey series of stories.

“The time will come in your life, it will most certainly come, when the voice of God will thunder at you from a cloud, ‘From this day forth thou shalt not be able to put on thine own socks.'”

Travels with Epicurus, A Journey to a Greek Island in Search of a Fulfilled Life
By Daniel Klein. This inquiry into how to live a satisfying old age is brand new in 2012 but I believe it will stand the test of time.

“’Forever Young’ was my generation’s theme song, and unreflectively I had been singing along with them…But something about this new philosophy of old age does not sit right with me…I suspect that if I were to take this popular route, I would deny myself a unique and invaluable stage of life.”

What Are Old People For?
By geriatrician William H. Thomas who served, for a period of time, as the official geriatrician of this blog and for whom I continue to be grateful for his untiring advocacy on behalf of elders.

“…practically speaking, there is no elderhood into which we can be admitted. This absence cannot be described as a careless oversight. We live in a society that denies the legitimacy of old age and has little tolerance for those who dare to suppose that crones and sages could inspire us as models of healthy human development.”

Why Survive? Being Old in America
Another by Dr. Robert N. Butler who coined the term “ageism.” This book, published in 1975, won the Pulitzer Prize.

“Next is the sense of life experience. This is marked by a broadening perspective and by personal growth. One comes, in part at least, to know what life is all about.”

David Wolfe on Jung’s Seven Tasks of Aging

Posted on by Dr. Toni

David Wolfe, who blogs at Ageless Marketing, has produced a series there covering Carl Jung’s seven tasks of aging. These tasks are not like washing the car and paying the bills that you can quickly check off your to-do list and move on to the next. They are ongoing processes that enrich your understanding of yourself and your life all the way to the end.

I first read Jung on this topic decades ago, but the seven tasks are not suited to or meant for young people. They are not possible until you have lived, really lived.

David’s purpose in his series on Jung is to convince marketers that elders are not ordinary consumers. Our mindsets are different from midlife and unless marketing and advertising people understand these differences, their products will not sell.

If you are reading Time Goes By, you are probably not a marketing professional, but that should not deter you from David’s series where you will find the clearest explanation of Jung’s tasks I’ve read anywhere among the general commentary. To nudge you toward doing so, below are links and short excerpts from David for each of the tasks.

Task No. 1: Facing the Reality of Aging and Dying

“Those who have successfully carried out Jung’s first task of aging have grown ageless in their outlook. Moreover, they have discovered that the last quarter of life is not as lousy an experience as they might have anticipated at age 40.“One benefit of reaching this state is an almost adolescent feeling of being beyond harm’s way. Abraham Maslow saw this arising from a lifestyle in which “A day is a minute, a minute is a day.” It’s about living in the moment in a constructive way.”

Task No. 2: Life Review

“…the second of Carl Jung’s Seven Tasks of Aging – life review – can have a deeper effect on many people than nostalgia does, especially the older they are.“Life review involves a critical examination of one’s life leading toward reconciliation between the sweet and the sour in life. It is a process for removing regret and anger from one’s worldview.”

Task No. 3: Defining Life Realistically

“In Winter, the primary developmental objective is to develop a sense of oneness with all and reconcile the sweet and the bitter in life. The main life focus is reconciliation – finding harmony and peace with ourselves, others and life in general.“Winter’s mythic theme is irony, reflecting a persistent anticipation that the unexpected is always around the corner – though not necessarily in a negative sense. In fact, the unexpected often delights the older person as much as it does a child. Irony is particularly therapeutic in how it helps us cope with what we can’t change. And, it often provides us with a certain comedic twist to ease the burdens of old age.”

Task No. 4: Letting Go of the Ego

“Letting go of the ego enhances personal well being by taking one to new and higher levels of life satisfaction. Beyond that, research indicates that getting beyond the self to turn more attention to helping others improves the efficiency of the immune system. People who help others tend to live longer and healthier than those who stay wrapped up inside themselves.”

Task No. 5: Finding a New Rooting in the Self

“The worldviews of people in the first half of life are generally rooted in the external world. In contrast, the worldviews of people in the second half of life tend to be rooted less in the physical or mundane and increasingly in the nonphysical or metaphysical (or spiritual).”

Task No. 6: Determining the Meaning of One’s Life

“Life meaning among the young is framed by styles of appearance, language, material acquisitions, and social affiliations in the quest for a solid footing in the external world…“However, the search for life meaning undergoes a major shift in the second half of life. Whatever people’s material success, many find less and less meaning from “things.” So, they begin to look inward rather than to the outer world in their search for life meaning.”

Task No. 7: Rebirth – Dying With Life

“Jung’s last task of aging, “Rebirth — dying with life,” is a familiar theme throughout the religious genre, but he was not thinking religion when he framed that task. Success in prosecuting this task leads to loss fear of life and death alike. Rebirth after dying with life transports a person into the timeless domains of an artist lost in his or her work or a child absorbed in play when living in the time of a delicious moment is all that matters.”

As you can see even from the short excerpts, these are no ordinary tasks. Rather than doing, they require being and a conscious contemplation of unconscious changes that take place within us.

Perhaps I came to studying and writing about old age in my own old age from reading Jung when I was young. I remember then looking forward to the day when I could bring my lifetime experience to the seven tasks.

[At The Elder Storytelling Place today, Kay Dennison recalls an elder relative who lived when Abraham Lincoln was president in A Great, Great Grandma – A Memory.]

The Process of Flow – Giving & Grounding

Posted on by Dr. Toni

There was a woman who longed to find out what heaven was like. Every day she would pray,
“God grant me a glimpse of paradise.” She prayed for years, until one night she had a dream. In her dream an angel came and led her to heaven. They walked down a street until they came to an ordinary house. The angel pointed to the house and said, go inside. The woman went into the house and found a person preparing supper, another reading the newspaper and children playing with their toys. She was very disappointed and returned to the angel on the street, “Is that all there is to paradise?” The angel replied,
“The people you saw in that house are not in paradise, paradise is in them.”

Miracles come in all sizes – and they are in the eyes of the beholder… What miracles have you created so far? (feel free to share in the comments section below…)

Miracles are often created by our intention and we are continually INTENDING by our subconscious thoughts.
When we say to ourselves, “I really want a new (fill in the blanks )- , but I can’t afford it.” I’d like this – but, it will never happen The “but I can’t afford it” or “it will never happen” or ‘that wasn’t in my plans’ is winning. Look for the underlying beliefs that keep you from what you really want. (let’s hear your buts… so you can get rid of them once and for all.)

This month, we are looking at creating miracles and the profound lesson on how to do that from Jesus — the master teacher. He gave us the conditions for miracles in the Miracle of the Loaves and Fishes as interpreted by Dr. Michael Abrams in his book The Twelve Conditions of a Miracle.

Keys to Wisdom by Ernest Holmes, p. 36:
There is a Power already resident in our own soul, ready to be used.

In this miracle Jesus was teaching us how to use that Power in our own soul through a series of 12 conditions – you could call them 12 states of consciousness. And we are exploring those states of consciousness this month and into next.
Life is really ALL ABOUT CONSCIOUSNESS!

We have looked at the first four states of consciousness already:
• Emptiness
• Alignment
• Asking
• Maximizing
Today we are talking about Conditions or States of Consciousness Five and Six.

Condition Five: Giving
Conditions 1 – 4 were in preparation.
Condition 5 gets things moving — it begins the flow.
The flow begins with a sincere gift.

According to the account given in the book of John, Andrew (one of the disciples) said to Jesus:
“there is a small boy here who has 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, and he is offering them to us.”

Now, we can assume that this little boy was just as hungry as everyone else, but generously he offered what little he had to the disciples. With the innocence and trust of a child, he released his precious resources, freely and in good faith, to the higher good. He released his gift and he set up the condition of flow.
And then the disciples passed the food forward to Jesus who kept things moving — first, by raising the gift above his head — recognizing the True Source of these gifts – GIVING THANKS — and then by giving the food back to the disciples to begin to be distributed.

The Fifth Condition or State of Consciousness is Giving: The act of giving relieves congestion and stimulates the flow and increase of resources.

Or, in the words of EH, p. 440:
When the law of circulation is retarded, stagnation results. It is only as we allow the Divine current to flow through us on and out, that we really express life. The law of giving and receiving is definite. Emerson tells us to beware of holding too much good in our hands.

Luke 6:38:
Whatever measure you use in giving, large or small, it will be used to measure what is given back to you.

Some thoughts for activating the fifth condition – the condition of Giving:
• Focus on the feeling behind the gift.
There is a simple test you can use to evaluate any gift: A gift is capable of generating miraculous results if the act of giving that gift makes you feel really good. We don’t give in order to feel good, that’s pseudo charity. It’s better than not giving at all. However, we must recognize that this form of giving is not coming from the highest level of our being which is Spirit. This is self-evident, since Spirit doesn’t need to feel better about itself, because SPIRIT IS the good feelings that we are seeking.
That’s why DOGOODERS get exhausted… and burned out – because their giving isn’t part of the creative process of life and isn’t emanating from the highest level of their being.

That’s why you should never “give until it hurts.” If the act of giving causes you worry or discomfort, your pain will attract more pain. Giving should always feel good.
On the other hand, Stretching is good. Of course, you know I’m going to talk a bit about Tithing…

But first, let me say – There are several kinds of giving – we can call them compensatory, charitable and gracious…

Compensatory is what the name implies.. We provide something in the form of a service or product, we EXPECT a return or compensation, usually in the form of money. The principle behind this giving is BALANCE.

In all other giving, we want to take care to attach no strings of any kind.
A true gift is always released freely without any expectation of the results. The kind of giving that facilitates miracles involves a major shift in consciousness. Completely forget about the reactions of humans that receive your gifts. NOT EVEN EXPECTING a THANK YOU… (not suggesting that we shouldn’t say thank you – it’s the EXPECTATION that taints the gift here!)
Expect your true return — all of it — from the Universe itself.
So, if I give you a gift – and you give it away – or never use it – it is none of my business. Giving a child a gift IF they do something is also not gracious giving.

Gracious giving is an expression of GRATITUDE for what we have already received. Giving simply for the JOY OF GIVING.. It’s not even gratitude for some pleasing physical object or experience, but gratitude for the awareness of the Presence of God brought to us by others. This duplicates the self-giving nature of Spirit and is a mirror of the way God gives to us.

• Finally, give consciously and thoughtfully.
Think about what you are doing. Make it a sacred act. Who/what are you supporting?

Does this help to put tithing in a whole new light?
Man in Alpine who didn’t want to tithe because his minister drove a Rolls Royce.. Wanted to control HOW the money was being spent that he gave to Church… I asked if his employer checked on how he spent what he was paid!
Made a tither out of him…!!

Not giving TO GET a return… giving out of GRATITUDE –RECOGNIZING that GOD is source of All Good we receive, we CHOOSE FREELY and joyously to LEAVE 10% with the source of our Spiritual Good – wherever that may be.. usually the Church, could be a person, an author, a teacher, a friend who has been an inspiration.

Like the loaves and fishes, I have found that tithing has given me a greater awareness of God as source. It’s not a practice that I think pleases God… God doesn’t need to be pleased.. It’s not about giving because a Church NEEDS it…

The more we sow, the more we reap. The more we demonstrate our gratitude, the more the Universe will provide us with reasons to be grateful.

When we begin to tithe, our hidden fears of lack and limitation come up to the surface so they can be dispelled by a CONSCIOUS act.. It is by consciously acting in opposition to our hidden fears of lack and limitation that we dispel their hold upon us. By affirming our gratitude in the midst of doubt, we are able to transform our fear into faith. It is this transformation that brings about the expansion in our lives.

That’s why it is suggested that we give not just REGULARLY but as a PERCENTAGE of our income…
It’s a more CONSCIOUS way of giving rather than just writing the same check each week… It makes us aware of the Source of our Support and is a graphic indication of the increase that ALWAYS shows up when we act in faith.

Abundance is always available to us, standing hidden behind our belief in lack and the appearance of need. The key to invoking a greater awareness of Abundance is gratitude. The more grateful we are for what we have right now – the five loaves and two fishes, the more easily goodness will increase in our lives, without our having to seek it through the experience of need. When our needs are fulfilled as they arise, we are living in the experience of the miraculous.

Condition 6 – Grounding

Jesus fed large numbers of people twice by expanding small amounts of food. On both occasions he told everyone to “sit down on the ground” or “on the grass,”
just before the miracle occurred, depending on which Gospel account you are reading There was a reason for this. In Greek “sit down on the grass” actually means to
recline or lie back in the garden.”
This might be considered an odd thing to say to people who are in the middle of the desert. Telling people to lie back in the garden doesn’t really make sense from a literal standpoint. There is no grass in a desert, certainly no garden. Therefore, the unusual phrase must have a deeper, metaphorical level of meaning.

The use of the word “garden” is very reminiscent of the Garden of Eden. Indeed, exploring this metaphor yields a wealth of pertinent metaphysical information which is completely consistent with the conditions of a miracle.

Consider: The story of the Garden of Eden is a metaphor for the development of human consciousness.
The original, natural state of human beings is like that of a child. A child has not yet “eaten of the tree of knowledge.”

As a result, a child is wholly in the present moment without the burden of: self-consciousness, judgment and self-doubt. He/She is free to experience things just as they are. He/She does not judge. He/She feels no shame or “nakedness.”To “lie back in the garden” is to relax and return to the natural childlike state of mind.

EH, 456
We must become as little children. How we long for a return of that simple trust in life which children have; in their minds there are no doubts– they have not yet been told that they are sinners, destitute of divine guidance and spiritual life. The life of the child is lived in natural goodness. We must return the way we came. As little children, who know that life is good and to be trusted.

DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT?

I’m in the middle of a weekend workshop on the TAO studying with a Qi Gong Master. A lot of what we are learning is to recognize and trust the FLOW of life.
First, let me give you Abrams’ definitions:
GROUNDING is just that – being grounded. Staying present, keeping your feet on the ground, reconnecting with the Earth and use it’s body, cosmic energy to revitalize our own. (DO THIS NOW: ) We can literally visualize sludge moving down through my body and out the bottom of our feet. We then see the sludge, or tired energy, working its way down through the dirt and the rocks and the water table, cleaning and filtering as it goes. Eventually, the sludge has turned into a rich, fertile compost, ready to nourish, instead of pollute. The energy is then drawn back up through the earth, and back into our body.
Master Chen keeps saying things like – the fruit of all of our meditation is ongoing HEALTH and Longevity – even immortality… He told us about his Master deciding when to let go of this life – at the age of 130… There’s so much we still have to learn about energy healing – and about the way we PRAY in Religious Science – never seeing What is before us with our eyes… but SEEING only the ENERGY of LIFE itself.
Activating the Sixth Condition: Grounding
1. Stay in the present moment as much as possible. The past and future do not exist. DELIGHT in what is.. Since the present is the only real place you can be, it is the only place that you can receive anything of real value. Only when you are firmly grounded in the here and now will you be positioned to accept
the flow.
Before each Tai Chi or Qi Gong movement, we RESTED.. we centered.. The present is the only place that we can act from. It is the only solid platform from which you can do real things to advance your dream. Fear and anxiety are a byproduct of an obsession with the future. Shame and guilt result from thinking about the past and obsessing over the self.
2. Become as a child. You will return to the garden by returning to your natural state of consciousness. Learn to play again. Make time to do things that are fun, things that make you laugh, things that bring you joy. BALANCE

Don’t waste all of your time anxiously slaving away at one arduous task after another. This is an enormous mistake. Take your life into your hands and start living. Do the things you have always wanted to do. Start now.
Everything must FLOW – and be done without EFFORT.
We are living in a DREAM and we get so serious because we think that WHERE WE ARE IS REAL…
I think of Wayne Dyer teaching ROW Row Row your boat GENTLY down the stream… MERRILY…merrily…merrily…merrily –
Life is but a dream…
Profound message in that little song…
5. ROW – Work on your level of belief. Know that the power will flow to you, even if you but lightly touch the spirit in consciousness. If you don’t believe, make yourself believe. Act and talk like you really do believe. Over and over, reprogram your mind at the deepest possible to believe and receive. Be gentle with yourself..
Tithe at the level you feel able – start with 1% if necessary and plan to increase to the full 10… Do ONE thing this week that will move you closer to your dream.. What would that be??

9 Worst Things About Being Over 50

Posted on by Dr. Toni

The top complaints about getting older and some smart strategies for tackling them

posted by Donna Sapolin, January 4, 2013
Donna Sapolin is the VP, Editorial Director & General Manager of Next Avenue. Follow Donna on Twitter @stylestorymedia.

On the upside, growing older means you’ve accumulated a good deal of experience and wisdom as well as an abundance of instructive and entertaining stories. But there’s a sharp downside, too. Take action now to make sure that the challenges below don’t end up defining your second and third acts.

1. You’re closer to the end. Planning for the end of life — your own and that of your elder loved ones — is more urgent than ever before. Not doing so may mean enduring costly medical measures that prolong life without sustaining its quality and burdening others with agonizing decisions based on guesswork.

Solution: Have end-of-life conversations with family members soon, fill out the legal documents that make your medical wishes and estate management affairs clear and analyze long-term care insurance options.

2. Regrets? You’ve got more than a few. You’ve lived long enough to feel bad about things you should and shouldn’t have said or done. Maybe you hurt someone; failed to live up to your own expectations and talents, or to support those of others; lost contact with or neglected people you care about; didn’t visit places you wanted to see; let big dreams go unfulfilled and key opportunities slip.

Solution: Recognize that it’s not too late to change course: You can still make amends, effectively express true feelings, explore new places, connect with old friends and make new ones. Write down a list of key regrets and take a small step each day to tackle one or more things on it. Little steps are meaningful in and of themselves but they likely will lead you to even bigger ones, perhaps even leaps.

Get outside your normal routine and comfort zone — sign up for classes to learn new skills and perspectives, use Facebook and LinkedIn to contact people from your past, call and visit others and look into online dating. Ask for forgiveness and forgive others. If you need support, seek out therapists, career coaches and other experts who can help you tackle the things that are holding you back.

3. Your youthful looks are fading. Self-worth, relationships, even employment opportunities can take a beating from changes in appearance that come with age.

Solution: Cultivate things that fuel inner beauty, a quality that actually grows more powerful with time and experience. Pin down ways you can extend more kindness to family, friends, colleagues and total strangers. Start by thinking about what a loving, open heart really means and how you can translate your strengths or develop new ones to instruct, mentor and support others.

4. Your body is slowing down. Aches and pains, memory lapses, reduced energy, loss of libido and other physical issues arise as your body expresses natural, age-related changes and the results of a lifetime of not-so-healthy eating habits and a sedentary and stressful lifestyle.

Solution: Get moving any way you can, preferably in a way that feels fun — stretch, run, walk, swim, alone or with a group. Eat more foods that provide the ideal nutrients for this stage of adulthood, including vitamin D3 and omega-3s. Adopt proven strategies for getting more and deeper rest and participate in deliberate brain-strengthening games and exercises.

5. You’re losing your sense of purpose. The things that once provided satisfaction and fulfillment have undergone significant shifts, from your career to the quality and amount of time spent with children, friends, mates and colleagues. As a result, your world feels smaller and days seem more routine.

Solution: Challenge yourself to learn new things — enroll in online classes or a community college certificate program. Take up a hobby, like knitting, fishing, ballroom dancing or piano; consider individual or group lessons. Join a book, wine or supper club. Explore faith-based communities. Volunteer — give your time and donate money to your community and to causes you believe in.

6. Your career feels as if it’s coming to a close. You feel at risk of losing your job. Or perhaps you already have and finding a new position has proven difficult.

Solution: Size up the signals at your present place of employment and be willing to learn new skills, make lateral moves, collaborate with younger people, work flex hours or part-time, even accept a pay cut. But also be open to an entirely new direction — volunteer in a different field, network, take classes. Consider launching your own business and gaining the know-how you’ll need to succeed.

7. You haven’t saved enough to quite see you through. Given the soaring costs of heath care, prospective changes to Social Security and Medicare and the hits your retirement accounts have taken, your nest egg is likely not going to cover your basic needs down the road — much less travel and other special experiences you had your heart set on.

Solution: Apply an ax to your expense structure and save more. Meet with a debt expert to develop strategies for reducing the amount you owe and hire a financial adviser to analyze your assets and goals to help you devise a savings plan.

8. You’re caring for sick relatives, at your own expense. This overwhelming, if loving, task is rapidly depleting your emotional and financial resources and may be compromising your health, too.

Solution: Ask family members, neighbors, friends and your faith-based community for help, join support groups, download caregiving apps and turn to other caregiving technology that can ease your load, reduce stress and allow you to address your own needs more often.

9. You’re going to get lost in the crowd. You’ll be advancing through the second state of adulthood at the same time as many millions of others. If things proceed along present lines, there won’t be enough doctors, professional caregivers or other medical support personnel to deliver the needed care. Our cities, homes and caregiving facilities are also not equipped to handle the “silver tsunami” and ease the challenges of aging.

Solution: Join your generation in doing what it has always done — be innovative. Gain an understanding of what needs to be done and what’s being discussed and proposed in your town and county as well as on the national level. Support community advocacy groups and participate in appeals to political leaders.