Aging and the Hunza People of North Pakistan

 Pat Carrington shares some information about an amazing society where “growing older” was very different from what most of us know today.  “Wisdom” actually defined “age” for these people! Later (in the program itself) she leads you in tapping exercises that can radically change your entire experience of growing older…

Myth # 1 – The Fear of Dying

Some people would argue that the fear people live with as they age comes largely from the fear of dying. It is of course true of some older people, but death is by no means the most important occurrence that most people fear as they grow older. Many people can accept dying gracefully and with a sense of peace, especially if they have beliefs and support systems of a spiritual or religious nature.

What these people fear is old age itself.

In this “Dissolving the Myths of Aging” package, Dr. Carrington discusses the way you view the passage of time in your later years and how it affects your entire life, your health, your state of mind, and the so-called “aging process” itself. She discusses:

  • Society’s View of Aging
  • The Influence of Diet and Genetics
  • How EFT Can Play a Role in Negative Attitudes
  • Dr. Carrington’s Philosophy and Experiences as a Near-Centenarian
  • EFT Tapping exercises for Growing Younger Inside as You Age

 

Dissolving the Myths of Aging with Dr. Patricia Carrington

Integral Life

Here’s an interesting fact from integral scientists: not everyone is ready for an integral life. (Shocking, I know.)

The integral stage of consciousness is emerging as we speak, and developmental psychologists estimate that about 5% of adults are coming into the integral stage of development, which is the most advanced in the world today. But that means that for 95% of adults, integral thinking is simply not relevant for them yet.

You see, one of the hallmarks of integral development is that you start to ask yourself Big Picture questions that are also intrinsically integrative: you want to have a bigger view, and you want to know how to put things together that most of popular culture doesn’t think fit together–like science and spirituality, like technology and art, like conservatives and liberals–all of these things fit perfectly well together through an integral view. This is one of our favorite short descriptions of the integral approach: everything fits together.

But we don’t pretend to appeal to everyone: only a minority of people are ready for an integrative mindset.

Having said that, I teach integral thinking to my own kids and to friends of all kinds. It is immensely useful and powerful to accelerate development no matter how mature someone is, so please feel welcome to everything we offer, whether you are new to personal development or have done it for years.

So if you’ve been thinking, “is Integral Life right for me?,” here’s a cheat sheet to help you decide. These are the 7 signs we see as people begin to yearn for an integral mind:

You want to find a way to make sense of your life and a world that is getting more complex with every year.

You want practical insights and habits that can be put into practice to help you live a fuller, more effective and joyful life.

You want credible answers to the biggest questions, grounded in the very best leading-edge science and philosophy.

You want to deepen your relationships, perspectives and spiritual life while expanding your mind to its fullest potential.

You believe that adults continue to grow and you know there is more to life than what you see in popular culture.

You want to meet other people who value mental, emotional and spiritual maturity but can also help you grow and bring out your unique calling.

You want to live as enlightened a life as is possible in the 21st century

What is Conscious Aging?

“The purpose of Conscious Aging, as a movement, is to join the growing chorus of elder voices proclaiming that the later stage of life has within it the unique potential for growth. It is a time for elders to make life as fulfilling as possible. For those who pursue Conscious Aging it is also a time to remain Aware, Awake, and Deliberate, and to take Active responsibility for their destiny.”

Harry R. Moody
Speaker and author on aging, spirituality, and ethics

“Ultimately, Conscious Aging is about developing and maintaining integrity. It involves developing spiritual resources to adapt to aging, not to deny it.”

Robert C. Atchley
Professor and Chair of the Department of Gerontology at Naropa University, Boulder, Colorado.

Books on Conscious Aging

A “senior boom” is happening in American life, and it’s getting bigger by the day. Until very recently, most of the attention paid to this phenomenon has focused on retirement options, pension plans, health care challenges, medical ethics, and research on the biology of aging and the prolongation of life. Surveying recent books, films, and spoken-word audios about later life, we have noticed a number of hopeful signs that signal a broadening and deepening of the way we see the senior years. The added element is an interest in their spiritual dimensions. Here’s a sampling of these new views of aging. (Click on the link to read the full review.)

BOOKS

Age Power: How the 21st Century Will Be Ruled by the New Old by Ken Dychtwald (Tarcher/Putnam, 1999)
Here is a wakeup call intended to offer preventative solutions to the age-related questions we face as individuals and as a society. “How we decide to behave as elders will,” writes Dychtwald, “in all likelihood, become the most important challenge we will face in our lives.”

Another Country: Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Our Elders by Mary Pipher (Riverhead, 1999)
This informative and salutary work is designed to help forge ties between the baby boom generation and their parents, who are now residing in the country of old age.

The Force of Character and the Lasting Life by James Hillman (Random House, 1999)
This imaginative, compelling, and always thought-provoking volume turns conventional ideas about aging upside down. In three bold sections, the best-selling author of The Soul’s Code shows how our characters are enriched, deepened, and made meaningful by long life.

From Age-ing to Sage-ing by Zalman Schachter-Shalomi and Ronald Miller (Warner, 1997)
The Jewish elder who coined the term “spiritual eldering” presents his thoughts on the last stage of life. This is a time to for men and women to “contemplate their life journey, harvest the wisdom of their years, and transmit a legacy to future generations.”

Gray Heroes: Elder Tales from Around the World by Jane Yolen, editor (Penguin Books, 1999)
The editor has gathered a fascinating batch of stories from different cultures about “elders who wear their years well.” The tales are divided into four sections: wisdom, trickery, adventure, and a little bit of love.

On Women Turning 70: Honoring the Voices of Wisdom by Cathleen Rountree (Jossey-Bass Publishers, 1999)
Sixteen extraordinary women tell their stories and share their feelings on turning 70.

Passion for Life: Lifelong Psychological and Spiritual Growth by Anne Brennan and Janice Brewi (Continuum, 1999)
With the doubling of life expectancy since the beginning of the twentieth century, men and woman are challenged to become “architects of their own aging.” The second half of life has become an arena for continued growth and development, i.e. soul-making.

Spiritual Passages: Embracing Life’s Sacred Journey by Drew Leder (Tarcher/Putnam, 1997)
The author taps into all the world’s religions for insights into qualities which can be unfurled by elders. He presents a substantive and sacred model for aging that celebrates self-exploration, change, service, suffering, transformation, and facing death.

A Time to Live: Seven Steps of Creative Aging by Robert Raines (Plume, 1998)
The former director of Kirkridge Retreat and Study Center has written a bright and buoyant volume about the art of creative aging. He masterfully sets anecdotes from his own life alongside poignant illustrative material from contemporary novels, films, and political events.

Toward Holy Ground: Spiritual Directions for the Second Half of Life by Margaret Guenther (Cowley, 1995)
The author uses St. Anne as a model and wisdom figure for later life when ambiguity, service of others, and wonder are given free play.

Understanding Men’s Passages: Discovering the New Map of Men’s Lives by Gail Sheehy (Ballantine, 1999)
The bestselling author presents a rounded portrait of the different stages of “second adulthood” for men including “the fearless fifties” and “the influential sixties.”

VIDEOS

I’m Not Rappaport (MCA/Universal, 1996)
This feisty drama revolves around an 81-year-old Jewish radical who is a modern-day Don Quixote fighting injustice. He and his best friend have to stand up for themselves in a society that seems determined to treat elders as if they were invisible.

Men With Guns (Columbia TriStar, 1998)
A common task in old age is to secure one’s legacy. A wealthy physician in an unnamed Latin American country who is nearing retirement decides to visit the medical students he trained to serve poor villagers in the countryside. His quest opens and softens his heart.

Nobody’s Fool (Paramount, 1995)
This movie shows that the last stage of life can be one of personal renewal. A crusty and cantankerous handyman in a small town discovers that it is never too late to stir the ashes and light up your life with the glow that comes from love of family and friends.

The Shell Seekers (Republic Pictures, 1994)
A 63-year-old Englishwoman suffers a heart attack and is compelled to review her life and her view of happiness.

The Straight Story (Walt Disney Home Video, 1999)
Alvin Straight is a stubborn and highly principled 73-year-old Iowan who sets out on his John Deere lawnmower to visit his estranged brother who has suffered a heart attack in Wisconsin. His deep yearning for reconciliation gives him the energy and strength he needs to fulfill his mission.

Strangers in Good Company (Touchstone, 1991)
A group of long-lived women take shelter in an abandoned farmhouse when their tour bus breaks down. While they wait for other transportation, they share the stories of their lives with each other.

Waking Ned Devine (Fox, 1999)
In this comedy set in a small village in Ireland, two of the town’s elders creatively expand the possibilities for community life.

SPOKEN-WORD AUDIO

Conscious Aging: A Creative and Spiritual Journey by Various Speakers (Sounds True, 1992)
Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, Marion Woodman, Maggie Kuhn, Ram Dass, and Bernie Siegel present their ideas on elders as bearers of wisdom, healing, creativity, and vision. This audio program was taped during a conference at the Omega Institute.

The Second Half of Life: The Blossoming of Your Creative Self by Angeles Arrien (Sounds True, 1998)
This teacher and cultural anthropologist explores the three major themes of elderhood: generativity, intimacy, and creativity. This six-cassette package is filled with soul-stirring stories and spiritual practices from indigenous peoples and Greek mythology.

 

From Ram Dass on Dying

From Ram Dass . . .

Dying is the most important thing you do in your life. It’s the great frontier for every one of us. And loving is the art of living as a preparation for dying. Allowing ourselves to dissolve into the ocean of love is not just about leaving this body; it is also the route to Oneness and unity with our own inner being, the soul, while we are still here. If you know how to live and to love, you know how to die.

In this book, I talk about what I am learning about death and dying from others and from my getting closer to it. And I talk about what I have learned from being at the bedsides of friends who have died, including how to grieve and how to plan for your own death as a spiritual ceremony. I talk about our fear of death and ways to go beyond that fear so we can be identified with our spiritual selves and live more meaningful lives.

I invited my friend Mirabai Bush into a series of conversations. Mirabai and I share the bond of being together with our guru, Neem Karoli Baba, and over the years, we have taught and traveled and written together. I thought she’d be able to frame the conversations for you, the reader, and also draw in some of what I’ve said in the past about dying, while keeping my current words fresh and immediate. And I wanted to discuss her thoughts on dying as well.

From Mirabai Bush . . .

This is a book about loving and dying and friendship. It is a conversation between old friends, in which we talk about love and death in an intimate setting. I hope we’ve captured Ram Dass’s wisdom, expressed in a new way now that he is 86.

Why are we writing this? Who are we writing it for?

“I want to help readers get rid of their fear of death,” Ram Dass answered. “So they can be,” a long pause, “identified with their spiritual selves and be ready to die. If you know how to live, you know how to die. This will be a link between my teachings about Maharaj-ji and about death. And people who are living who can see that they are dying each day, that each day is change and dying is the biggest change—it could help them live more meaningful lives.”

Okay, I thought. This will be a good book to write. We’ll be exploring the edge of what we know.

I invite you to watch this short video of us reflecting together on a few of these very topics on love and death.

With love,
Ram Dass and Mirabai Bush

Walking Each Other Home
Conversations on Loving and Dying
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