I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what makes midlife so unique and challenging for so many people and I’m coming to see that it is the time in our lives when we most have to deal with our shadow self. Up to that point, many of us have ignored it, or lived through it! – but at midlife, we begin to question what to throw away and what to keep. We are confronted with the parts of our lives that haven’t lived up to our expectation and we sometimes think things will never change – ‘we are the way we are’. It’s at times like this that I am reminded of a poem that ironically? someone just sent me today – it’s called:
Shadow and Light
How does a part of the world leave the world?
How does wetness leave water?
Dont’ try to put out fire by throwing on more fire!
Don’t wash a wound with blood.
No matter how fast you run, your shadow keeps up.
Sometimes it’s in front!
Only full overhead sun diminishes your shadow.
But that shadow has been serving you.
What hurts you, blesses you.
Darkness is your candle. Your boundaries are your quest.
I could explain this, but it will break the glass cover on your heart,
and there’s no fixing that.
You must have shadow and light source both.
Listen, and lay your head under the tree of awe.
When from that tree feathers and wings sprout on you, be quieter than a dove.
Don’t even open your mouth for even a coo.
—Jelal’uddin Rumi, translated by Coleman Barks
