The first step in experiencing or manifestinganything in our lives is to be clear on what it is we REALLY want. – The word REALLY is important here as you may or may not have yet discovered.
How do you get clear? And how Do you get to know what you REALLY Want?
Let’s start with some of the obstacles to knowing
1 I believe the number one obstacle is what I call the I don’t know syndrome – In all my years of counseling and helping people and organizations get clear, the words I hear most often in answer to the question WHAT DO YOU WANT is I DON’T KNOW
Do you really not know? Or do you not want to know?
I’m going to invite you today to consider stopping saying I DON’T KNOW and helping to remind one another to do the same – are you game?
Why? because when we say I Don’t Know – the brain wants to cooperate
Suppose someone comes to your house for dinner and you don’t have salt on the table. Get it in kitchen. I can’t find it – Brain doesn’t want to be wrong.
If you keep saying I don’t know – the divine intelligence in you will begin to agree.
Step one to knowing what you want – is to believe you do know because there is One Mind and you share that Mind and it knows all things – Stop saying I DON’T KNOW
Perhaps we don’t know what we want because we’ve never really thought about it – Most of us plan our vacations more than we do our lives. Or we live with vague wants like ‘I want to be healthier,’ or ‘I want to win the lottery.’
Or maybe we ‘don’t know’ because if we did know, if we made a decision and followed it through and it was ‘wrong’ then what – some people never make decisions because they are afraid to make a mistake and they don’t realize they can change their minds.
Or perhaps I don’t know means I don’t really believe in myself: ‘There’s no point wanting that. I’ll never get it. I remember a time in my life when money was quite scarce – I gave up wanting…the very wanting that could have caused the universe to supply what I needed.
Or if we really go for what we want we might have to leave a lot of things behind and that’s scary – I know a lot of people don’t get into relationship that they say they want, because they don’t want to really give up the perks of being single. Or people don’t get well, because they think that they won’t get sympathy or support.
And then there’s the person who says why bother knowing –because they have achieved things and then said– is that all there is.
Or we say I don’t know because we are so caught up in doing what other’s want that we’ve lost what we want. Notice if you are happy or sad depending upon another’s happiness or misery. Or when people ask what do you want for dinner or where do you want to go you say, It doesn’t matter… hmm…
Here’s a great book for anyone now saying “I Don’t Know”.
There are some great exercises for getting clear.
While this is particularly suited for those looking to start a new career, it can be helpful to anyone who wants a new start.
Buy it now by clicking on the picture of the book. You’ll be glad you did.
Hello Dr Toni…
Great post! I know from my own experience, and working with clients, it can be difficult at times to know what you really want. Sometimes we cannot get past the scripting of our early years where many of us grew up surrounded by people who didn’t know what they want… or we were inadvertently told you could never really get what you want.
Best wishes
Jeanne May
http://www.aspirationsplus.com
So true. I’m coming to believe that some of this is because we believe in a God outside ourselves that has a Plan for our lives and that our job is to find the plan rather than create it.
Even people who believe in personal responsibility sometimes have throwbacks to these ideas. hmm. worth thinking about.
Toni
http://www.reinventmidlife.com
After reading the article, I realize that what I want, wants me…Dr. Toni…isn’t that the name of your new, soon to be released book??? Seriously, I want to be secure in the knowledge that I can have all I want while not trying to pin that on anyone else’s shoulders!!! I want to make myself happy & let you do the same. Isn’t that what the Universe wants??Lots of happy individuals expanding the Universe, not just me getting you all to make me feel good….
In January I will be 61 yrears old I have decided to trust That the God will allow the universe to keep me safe and help me to do my lifes work. thanks for the inspiration you send me everday over the internet. Thanks. I have been studying Transformaltional Life Coaching I will be finished my course in Janurary on my birthday.