We’re told that angels have wings because they take themselves lightly. Notice this week when you are making a drama out of something, and see what story you are telling yourself. “What am I telling myself about what’s happening? What’s really happening and what’s my story about what’s happening?” See if you can see that in two ways: one – see the facts of what is happening. I once heard this described as what you can put in a wheelbarrow. So, if you are saying something like, “When he did this, it made me”
or, “She said this, and it must have meant.” stop and say, “Would someone who was observing what was happening be able to say that’s what’s happened?” What would a newspaper picture show was actually happening? If someone frowns, for example, we say, “Obviously they are angry or obviously…” What would the picture look like if it were a static picture? We don’t only see what is happening, we make up what it means. And that’s when we lose our joy! What we make up makes us lose our joy! Trust me – I know, I’m good
at it!
Train yourself to be a Joy Detective. Look for the joy, instead of looking for what’s wrong. How many of us look for what’s wrong with the picture? And there may be a situation or it may be something in you. When you are tempted to complain about something, try complimenting yourself instead! Complain. Stop. Switch to a compliment.
And if there are experiences that you don’t feel joyful about ask, “What’s good about this situation?” When you ask the brain a question like, “What’s wrong with me?” your brain will give you an entire list of what’s wrong, or why this isn’t working. Your brain will tell you it’s because your mother did this when you were three and this happened when you were seven. Doesn’t that happen? So the questions we ask ourselves are really important. The question we are asking is, “What’s good about this situation?”
Get back to the original joy. Then, find at least 10 things a day you can compliment – and say them out loud to someone else. It’s a great way to experience joy. You can’t help but be joyful if you are spending the day thinking of what to compliment. Think about that, and begin to look at what’s working in your life and in everyone else’s.
And if there are experiences that you don’t feel joyful about ask, “What’s good about this situation?” When you ask the brain a question like, “What’s wrong with me?” your brain will give you an entire list of what’s wrong, or why this isn’t working. Your brain will tell you it’s because your mother did this when you were three and this happened when you were seven. Doesn’t that happen? So the questions we ask ourselves are really important. The question we are asking is, “What’s good about this situation?”
Get back to the original joy. Then, find at least 10 things a day you can compliment – and say them out loud to someone else. It’s a great way to experience joy. You can’t help but be joyful if you are spending the day thinking of what to compliment. Think about that, and begin to look at what’s working in your life and in everyone else’s.
