Midlife Reinvention

The pain of remembrance of Self
dreams and aspirations
that have long been taken,
washed away in a river of doubt.

Trying to swim through
the current of resistance
of giving breath and life
to what a heart is calling
one to do.

Can that rock be lifted
and unblock the passion?
Can those weeds of fear
be moved to unstop the
creative urge to express?

Turn, turn, turn
away from the condition
and in doing so it is found,
there is no river of doubt
no rocks that block the flow of life.
no weeds of fear.

There is only life Infinite in Its Nature
the Creative Urge cannot be
denied It’s expression.
CLauer

by Stephanie von Hirschberg Editor
From MORE Magazine

MSNBC’s Mika Brzezinski staged a lively interview with the Ephron sisters, Nora (middle) and Delia.
A stellar cast of change experts—Laura Bush, Nora Ephron and Delia Ephron among them—gathered on October 5 at More’s 2009 Reinvention Convention to inspire, advise and share their personal journeys. Here are some of their insights.

1. On stepping into the unknown: “I reinvented myself in chunks. I had to take small steps to get into TV. I had to give up all the personality traits that worked for me in my first career, like charm. That didn’t work.”
–Barbara Corcoran, former real estate mogul, now the popular real estate contributor for NBC’s Today Show

2. On finding your passion: “My breakthrough moment came while I was listening to Marianne Williamson tapes. She turned my thinking around. She asks you to think about what you can give instead of get. That was my light bulb moment. That led me to my senior care business.” –Denise Thomas Hirose, owner and director of multiple senior care businesses in Austin, Texas.

3. More on finding your passion: “If you wait until you know how you want to reinvent yourself, you’ll never get there. You need to be in motion, to gather information.”—Pamela Mitchell, former entertainment exec, founder of The Reinvention Institute.

4. On recommended reading for reinventors: “The E-Myth Revisited, by Michael Gerber; and The Knack: How Street-Smart Entrepreneurs Learn to Handle Whatever Comes Up, by Norm Brodsky”—Pamela Mitchell, former entertainment exec, founder of The Reinvention Institute.

5. On surviving setbacks: “Some of your strongest learning moments come when things aren’t working out.”–Trudy Sullivan, CEO Talbot’s.

6. On the advisability of wearing black: “I’ve been saved from a lifetime of fashion mistakes by black.”–Nora Ephron, co-author with sister Delia of Love, Loss and What I Wore.

7. On networking: “Contacts in my old field didn’t help. I had to build new ones. I started schmoozing young line producers, they moved up and suddenly I had allies all over.”– –Barbara Corcoran, former real estate mogul, now the popular real estate contributor for NBC’s Today Show

8. On what to do when you can’t find a solution: “Flip a coin and think about which way you hope it lands.”—Jean Chatzky, award-winning financial journalist.

9. On the difficulty of saving money: “Saving money is, was, and will always be no fun. Having money saved is fun.”—Jean Chatzky, award-winning financial journalist.

10. On choosing friends and colleagues: “I needed people around me who had confidence in me, sometimes more confidence than I had in myself. You need cheerleaders for your darkest moments.” –Dawn Lepore, CEO of drugstore.com, former CIO of Charles Schwab

11. On sacrifice: “When you reinvent yourself you often have to give things up. I had to work several part-time jobs. I sold my house.” –Kathy Davis, former teacher, now an artist and head of her own design company

12. On fear: “Make friends with the concept of fear, as it will be a continual companion along the reinvention path. But it doesn’t have to be a block.” ”—Pamela Mitchell, former entertainment exec, founder of The Reinvention Institute.

13. On discovering a new part of yourself: “You have to let go of your old identity to let the new identity come in.” —Pamela Mitchell, former entertainment exec, founder of The Reinvention Institute.

14. On staying staying fit after forty: “It’s the amount of fat you have, not your actual weight, that matters when adapting your body after 40.” –Pamela Peeke, MD, best-selling author of Fight Fat After Forty

15. On finding your passion: “Look at activities that put you in flow, where time seems to stop. These are usually the things that make you feel happiest and most plugged in.”—Pamela Mitchell, former entertainment exec, founder of The Reinvention Institute.

I’m always looking at the ways people reinvent themselves and how they live. One of my mantras in life has been “how much is enough”. It seems that most of us never feel like we are enough, or have enough. I’m also clear that it is the very nature of our spirit to grow and want more. What does all this mean?

There was a show on Oprah recently that showed people living in small spaces – very small spaces. And both Nate Booth (the designer) and Oprah kept asking, how much do we really need? It’s a question worth pondering. I’m not recommending that you move into 250 sq feet (unless that really makes you happy!) But, I’d like to suggest that what we really want in life are not material things – or even opportunities or experiences – but rather, they are states of being. What we might think we want is a new car – but, we really are looking for greater Freedom. We might think we want a new dress or home, but what we’re really longing for is a sense of Beauty in our lives.

For those who believe it’s more money or riches they want, consider this story:

A wise, but poor, woman who was crossing the mountains on foot came upon a precious stone and placed it in her pack. The next day she met another traveler who begged her for something to eat. The wise woman opened her bag to reach for some bread, and as she did so, the sun’s rays caught the gemstone, and the hungry traveler gasped with delight, saying, “I am very poor. Won’t you give me that stone?” The wise woman did so without hesitation. The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the jewel could provide him security for the rest of his life. But after a few days in the mountains, he reversed his trail, and went back in search of the wise woman. Finally, he found her. He handed her back the stone. “I know this gemstone is terribly valuable,” he said. “But I return it in the hope that you can give me something much more precious. Let me have whatever it is within you that enabled you to give me the stone.”

Another clear example of the essence of what we want is in relationships – You’ve all heard it said – , “If you want the perfect partner be the perfect partner.” This is the crux of it: we must have the willingness to be that which we want, to live in integrity with it, and to live as though we already have it. And, we must be unwilling to have something less, while maintaining that paradoxical position of release–being poised to receive and yet not willing things to be different. It’s a delicate balance.

Settling for anything less than your deepest desire means that the universe has no reason to give you what your heart truly desires. The question to ask is: Are you really willing to have it, to live up to it by not being available to something less? Are you ready to live in integrity with your hearts deepest longings? If you are–and when you are–the universe will correspond accordingly.

Feel free to comment on this article. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

 

 

There’s an interesting New York Times piece on why employers prefer to hire younger workers over older workers. It’s definitely worth reading. Weighing in on the question are: Peter Cappelli of Wharton School, Alicia H. Munnell of the Center for Retirement Research, Laurence J. Kotlikoff, a Boston University economist, Teresa Ghilarducci of the New School for Social Research, and Jean Twenge, a psychology professor. I pulled a few interesting quotes from the story:

Experiments have shown that even when credentials are absolutely identical, employers much prefer the younger candidates. There are no good reasons for this overall preference. Older workers perform better across the range of relevant performance indicators — better skills, especially interpersonal skills, better attendance, more conscientious, and so on.

The real reason employers seem to prefer younger candidates has to do with perceptions of supervisors who often worry about how manage older subordinates: How can I supervise someone who has more experience than I have…

One part of the problem is matching worker with job. Older workers have a lifetime of preferences and skills — essentially unique-shaped pegs that can fit into a limited number of holes. Younger workers are malleable and can fit more easily into a variety of positions.

Prospective employers are acutely aware that older workers’ health care costs are much higher than for younger workers — that alone may privilege the young.

Research shows that the younger generation, on average, is higher in self-esteem, assertiveness and narcissism, characteristics that may help them self-promote and impress during a job interview.

What’s YOUR experience? I’d love to hear your comments

Here is a sample video created as an excerpt from my keynote address: “Midlife Re-Vision”. It’s a personal story of how I chose my college major. I think there will be some midlife themes you can all relate to. The video is about seven minutes long. Enjoy it NOW…
Would love to hear your comments.