Midlife Spirituality

A candid street interview that asks the question, “What is your purpose in life?” to many people. Answers ranging from many different purposes and desires often share a few common themes: survival, happiness, and uncertainty. This video seeks to invoke the same question on its viewers: What is your purpose in life?

I was reading words of Kabir, the 12th-century Indian mystic,who
said: ?When we say, ?Ahhhhh!? and say it with a deep sigh? — the kind
of exclamation that comes from our depths whenever we witness some
aspect of the world?s blessing — ?that ?Ahhhhh!? is one of God?s most
beautiful names.?

Think of the times we say Ahh at the end of a long day when we can
finally sink into a comfortable chair and relax. Or the Ahh we say
taking a drink of something cool and refreshing. Or the Ahh when we
look out at the sky or a landscape that is so beautiful and say Ahh!!

So let’s say Ahhhh and begin our day with a sense of realizing the
beautiful name of God. Feeling into the joy of knowing that this Ahh
speaks of the grandeur, the majesty, the glory and the absolutely
amazing power that is the Source of all life – ever-present, all-
powerful and all-knowing. This is God. This is within each of us.
This is that which has created us in its own image and likeness.
Ahhh!! This is amazing! It is the soaring mountains and the vast seas,
the green meadows and the vivid hues of autumn colors. It is the soft
hand of the infant and the wise eyes of an old crone. It is everything
that is and all that we are. Ahhh!
Let this thought fill us with amazement and joy – let it inspire us to
open to this truth and express it through our own living example. We
are amazing – we are grand, and majestic and powerful expressions of
the One. Let us feel this Ahhh energy rise up within us to become a
chorus of voices celebrating this new day. Let us see God’s great good
everywhere we look- and know that it is within us and we can spread it
around. We are alive, doing our chosen work, being who we have come
here to be. Ahhh! This is good!
Let us give thanks for another day – Ahhh! We set these words free —
and live from the Ahhh that wells up from within us. And so it is.

You’ve gotten pretty good at going to the gym — you also keep the diet reasonable and quit smoking years ago. And you worry about the diseases that have shown up in your family, particularly if there is heart disease or cancer. Or you feel pretty good if your ancestry is filled with people who have lived to 90 years old or beyond. And then of course there is the proverbial bus that we need to dodge each day. All of the exercise and good genes in the world won’t stop the laws of physics should we violate them. So you wear your seat belts when driving and a helmet when riding a bike to provide as much protection as possible against simple bad luck. But here is a whole new area of information for you to consider when it comes to living healthy and living long. First, we want you to answer these two questions:

1. How many friends/relatives do you have who you could ask for help were you to need it? ____

2. How happy are you with the amount of emotional support your friends and relatives give to you? Not at all ___ Somewhat ___ Extremely ___

Before you think we have switched topics on you midstream consider these facts. People who have larger and more satisfying social networks live longer, they get Alzheimer’s disease less, they can handle stress more effectively, and they are less prone to such disorders of aging as hypertension and diabetes. Further, if you are a married man or woman you are likely to live longer than similar people who are unmarried. Numerous mechanisms have been suggested as the reason why social ties improve health and longevity. The most credible reasons are linked to the findings that relationships improve our ability to handle stress. Non-supportive social interactions actually lower our immune function and cause an increase in glucocorticoids, the stress hormones produced by the brain. Cardiovascular activity also is increased by negative social engagements. And you thought it was all in your head when you felt terrible after meeting with a hypercritical relative or even with a boss who is much better at identifying faults than strengths.

The truth is that such interactions do bad things to your body — both on the short- and long-term. However, supportive social interactions result in the exact opposite effects on your body. Such interactions leave your body tuned to handle whatever may come your way. These findings may well fall into the category an old professor of mine would call the “blooming obvious.” Of course we know we feel better after we spend time with friends, when we take the time to develop friendships, when our friends and family go out of their way to support us, and when the people who are most important to us allow us into their lives. It’s all nature’s way. But how many of us really take the time to develop friendships and to nurture the friendships we have? Our point to you is that if there ever was a time to start making a concerted effort to develop more friendships and to have fun with those friends, now is the time.

Many of you may be wondering how many friends you need to have. The short answer appears to be the more the better. It certainly is the case that supportive relationships are better for your health than conflicted relationships. So no matter how many friends you have, or how positive you feel about your friends and family, pull out your calendar right now and schedule at least one more time to be with friends or family for each of the next four weeks. And if you are one of those persons who has gotten into a lifestyle where it is work, work, work; where life is spent on the freeway or at your office; where you can’t really remember the last time you took some time to just be with a friend or a loved one, take this as a life-changing opportunity.

Midlife is more than a crisis. It is a summons to grow and a challenge to change. Midlife beckons one inward. It is a move to interiority, a passage to the deeper places where we discover our authenticity, where we realize both our limitations and our grandeur. It is here that we come home to our truest Self. We take our external experiences with us to the inside and look at our life. We evaluate our goals, hopes, dreams, beliefs, behaviors, experiences – all that has marked us and contributed to the person we have become – and we ask ourselves: “Is this the person I want to be in the future?”

Preface

the persistent voice of midlife
wooed and wailed, wept and whined,
nagged like an endless toothache,
seduced like an insistent lover,
promised a guide to protect me
as I turned intently toward my soul.

as I stood at the door of “Go Deeper”
I heard the ego’s howl of resistance,
felt the shivers of my false security
but knew there could be no other way.
inward I traveled, down, down,
drawn further into the truth
than I ever intended to go.

as I moved far and deep and long
eerie things long lain hidden
jeered at me with shadowy voices,
while love I’d never envisioned
wrapped compassionate ribbons
’round my fearful, anxious heart.

further in I sank, to the depths,
past all my arrogance and confusion,
through all my questions and doubts,
beyond all I held to be fact.

finally I stood before a new door:
the Hall of Oneness and Freedom.
uncertain and wary, I slowly opened,
discovering a space of welcoming light.

I entered the sacred inner room
where everything sings of Mystery.
no longer could I deny or resist
the decay of clenching control
and the silent gasps of surrender.

there in that sacred place of my Self
Love of a lasting kind came forth,
embracing me like a long beloved one
come home for the first time.

much that I thought to be “me”
crept to the corners and died.
in its place a Being named Peace
slipped beside and softly spoke my name:
“Welcome home, True Self,
I’ve been waiting for you.”

—Joyce Rupp

Copyright 1996 by Joyce Rupp All rights reserved.