Change

Midlife Reflections on Aging and Growing Older

Posted on by Dr. Toni

A good friend sent this — I don’t know the author – but, it’s worth passing on,,

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I
was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old! Upon seeing my
reaction, he was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an
interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let him know.

Growing Older, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have
always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body …
the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the cellulite. And often I am taken back
by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don’t agonize over those
things for long.

*I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my
loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I’ve aged, I’ve
become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I’ve become my own
friend. I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making
my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn’t need, but looks
so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to be messy, to be extravagant,
to smell the flowers. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too
soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer
until 4 a.m. and then sleep until –I will dance with myself to those
wonderful tunes of the 50’s & 60’s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep
over a lost love … I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a
bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to,
despite the pitying glances from the bikini set, who too, will get old
(If they’re lucky)!

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But then again, some of life is
just as well forgotten and I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart
not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a
beloved pet dies? But broken hearts are what give us strength,
understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and
sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray,
and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my
face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair
could turn silver. I can say “no,” and mean it. I can say “yes.” and mean it

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about
what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore. I’ve even earned
the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being older. It has set me free.
I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I
am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or
worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day… (if
I want).
Today, I wish you a day of ordinary miracles.
Love simply.

Love generously.

Care deeply.

Speak kindly.

Leave the rest to God.

LIVE WELL – LAUGH OFTEN – LOVE MUCH!

Managing CHANGE: the Wind in your Face

Posted on by Dr. Toni

A young man, with more money than sense, buys the hottest, fastest, most expensive sports car available — a Ferrari GTO — and takes it out for a spin. He stops at a light, and an old man on a moped pulls up next to him. “What kind of car ya’ got there, sonny?” “A brand new Ferrari GTO. It cost a quarter of a million dollars!” “That’s a lot of money”. “Why does it cost so much?” “Because it’s the hottest, fastest car there is – it can do up to 320 miles per hour!” “Mind if I look inside?” “No problem.” The old man leans into the window as far as he can and looks around, then sitting back said, “That’s pretty slick, all right!”

Just then the light changes. The young man decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 160 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer and then suddenly . . . hhhooooosssshhh! Something whips by him, going much faster!

“What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?!” the young man thinks. Then, ahead of him, he sees a small dot coming straight toward him. Whooooosh! It goes by again, heading in the opposite direction! “Couldn’t be.” “How could a man on a moped outrun a Ferrari?” But again, he sees a dot in his rear view mirror. Whoooosh, Kabbbblaaammm! It plows into the back of the car, demolishing the rear end.

The young man jumps out of the car and sees – it IS the old man! He runs up to him lying on the concrete and says, “Oh, dear – Is there anything I can do?” The old man wheeses, “Young feller, could you unhook my suspenders from your side-view mirror?”

Sometimes in life, you can feel just like the old man. The faster you move forward, the more the wind blows against your face. Encountering difficulty and resistance? It’s because you’re making significant progress. Those who have no problems never venture to accomplish anything. Those who face the most challenges, often create the most value. When a particular problem arises, it’s because you have progressed to the point where you can deal with it and are ready for where it can bring you. See obstacles as gateways, that’s their true value. Each new challenge is a stepping stone to meaningful accomplishment. So, feel the stiff wind as it blows against your face. You’re feeling your rapid movement forward!

Nature won’t let us stay in any one place too long- just long enough to gather the experience necessary for the soul’s unfolding. The Universe never gives you more than you are capable of handling.

In every person’s life there have been instances which seemed completely shattering, (I’ve had my share!) It takes perception and patience to see beyond what appears to be useless and painful. Appreciate that the larger system, the Good, remains intact no matter how chaotic everything in our own little world may seem. We live in a spiritual Universe that is governed by spiritual law and intelligence.

No matter how frightening a situation may be, it is still transitory. Only the Good is lasting. The rest ‘came to pass.’ Look back in your life and recall the times when you were frantic over some crisis or misfortune that seemed to be the end of everything. Where is that challenge now? Where are the people who were standing in the way of your Good?

When change seems to be THRUST upon you and it looks like it’s ‘happening TO you”, don’t get all hung up in the “story.” Sit back, wait for a deeper meaning to be revealed. It will!

If the wind of change is chafing your face lately, commit to NOT telling the story for at least 1 week – not even to yourself! Just be with it. Invite the answer to this question: What greater understanding, what deeper awareness of the Law’s operation in my life is this experience offering me? Then, sit back and enjoy the ride!