Change

TYPES OF COMPLETION:
First – clean up the past – what we did; didn’t do; should have done, did poorly or wrongly.
Confucius once said, “to be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.”

In the 12 step programs, you learn to make a list of anyone you ever harmed – & where practical make amends. This isn’t just advice for 12 steppers…it’s something we all can benefit from. I have studied with many spiritual teachers, and they almost all say some version of:
If there is a good you want to reveal in your life that seems to not be happening – first check your forgiveness…

JOKE:
The tennis courts of an Iowa high school adjoined the grounds of a church rectory. Occasionally, exuberant youngsters whammed a tennis ball over the fence onto the trim lawns. One day, a player, chasing a stray ball, came face to face with a large sign which read: NO TRESPASSING. The sign came down overnight, however, when the tennis club erected its own sign directly opposite. This one read: FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES.

In the Lord’s Prayer, right after GIVE US THIS DAY our daily bread, we find
AND FORGIVE US OUR DEBTS AS WE FORGIVE OUR DEBTORS.
It is recommended that you do this on a daily basis – complete each day – so you won’t ever have to go back to it.

I am coming to believe that the gift of aging, true spirituality of aging, is mostly about letting go of the past in order to live in the present more fully. If we haven’t learned that lesson through midlife, it becomes even harder as we age. Start now to let go on a daily basis, so there is no carry over as you age.

If you cannot forgive in the moment – make a practice to COMPLETE each day with forgiveness. Charles Fillmore, the founder of the Unity Movement said he did this every night of his life. I like to start my day with 5 things I am grateful for and usually can easily find 5 things at the end of the day to seek forgiveness for (mostly with myself these days!)

The SECOND set or types of COMPLETIONS are the tasks around our homes or offices –
If you have to pass an unfinished kitchen – or if you have work on your desk that needed to be done a long time ago – every time you see it – even unconsciously, it takes focus – and what we focus on increases! (EEKS, no wonder papers seem to spawn themselves in my house.) Have you ever cleared out an old pile and wondered why you kept some of those papers? Why not, complete right now. It’s not only a good business practice, it’s a great spiritual practice as well.

BE CAREFUL TO NOT FALL INTO THE TRAP OF BLAME – CELEBRATE EVERY WIN.

Third – DO COMPLETE WORK
Start doing what is called “complete work” in your tasks, in your conversations in your actions.
Complete work means that you handle something or perform a task that will not come back to bite you for at least 5 years. If you are a cabinet maker, that means that the glue you use, the fit of the joints and the hardware would be perfect enough to last 5 years with virtually no maintenance. Of course if you make cars or houses, I hope you’ll extend that 5 years a bit!

Perhaps you have heard this story about a frog and a scorpion:

One day a frog was sitting happily by the side of the river when a scorpion came along.

“Oh Mr. Frog,” said the scorpion, “I need to get to the other side of the river to be with my family. Will you please carry me across?”

“But Mr. Scorpion, if I do that, then you will sting me!” replied the frog, somewhat aghast at the request.

“No, I won’t,” said the scorpion.

“Do you promise?” asked a rather doubtful frog.

“I really promise–I will not sting you,” said the scorpion.

“Okay,” the frog said reluctantly. “Hop on.”

The scorpion climbed on top of the frog’s back and they set off. Halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog.

In horror, the frog, unable to continue swimming and with both of them about to drown, finally managed to gasp, “Please, Mr. Scorpion, just tell me one thing before we both go under. Just tell me why, when you promised you would not, why, oh why did you sting me?”

“Because it is my nature,” replied the scorpion.

With no intention of being derogatory to scorpions, this story shows how the nature of the scorpion appears unchangeable and fixed. It has no choice regarding its behavior because it is a scorpion; that is simply the way it is.

And most of us think we are just the same. We think we cannot change, that we are the way we are and that’s that–this is who I am and I cannot change and I won’t change! But where a scorpion is not necessarily able to act any differently, we can. We do have choices. We do not have to be the way we think we are; we can actually be and act differently. In the nineteenth century, philosopher William James said, “The great revolution in our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”

And we do so long for change, to be different, to be healthier or happier than we are–the grass always seems to be so much greener elsewhere. Or we want to change the world so that women are not abused and there is less violence and poverty. . . .

It can appear relatively simple to make changes in the world, while making changes in our own lives can seem far more overwhelming. It takes courage to move from a familiar and known place to one that is different or without reference points, as it means stepping outside of our usual comfort zone.

So what is it that stops us from changing? What keeps us locked in ourselves, stuck in small-mindedness, thinking our view is the only view that matters? Invariably, it is the ego, the most talked-about yet least understood of our human features. The ego gives us a strong sense of ourselves; it is the “me” part. This is neither good nor bad, except when self-centeredness dominates our thoughts, feelings, and perceptions of life. A positive sense of self gives us confidence and purpose, but a more negative and selfish aspect of the ego makes us unconcerned with other people’s feelings; it thrives on the idea of me-first and impels us to cry out, “What about me? What about my feelings?”

By Ed and Deb Shapiro

SONNETS TO ORPHEUS: II, 12 (stanza 1)

Desire change. Be enthusiastic for that flame
in which a thing escapes your grasp
while it makes a glorious display of transformation.
That designing Spirit, the master mind of all things on earth
loves nothing so much in the sweeping movement of the dance
as the turning point.
— Rainer Maria Rilke, translated by Br. David Steindl-Rast