Click the link below to watch Jane Fonda
giving a talk at TED on Life’s Third Act
Would love to hear your comments.
I’m writing a book that starts where she leaves off…
Dr. Toni
Quotes about Aging and Spirituality
You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair. ~Douglas MacArthur
To be seventy years young is sometimes far more cheerful and hopeful than to be forty years old. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes (Thanks Janice!)
Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. ~Henry Ford
When I was 40, my doctor advised me that a man in his 40s shouldn’t play tennis. I heeded his advice carefully and could hardly wait until I reached 50 to start again. ~Hugo L. Black
The idea is to die young as late as possible. ~Ashley Montagu
12 keys to aging well spiritually
AGING AND SPIRITUALITY: After four years of research, these 12 keys were identified as the foundational principles of aging and spirituality letting us open-up to the special grace of our mature years, and taste life in abundance.
- Transform your attitudes about aging,
- Seek love everywhere,
- Delight in connectedness,
- Live in the “Now”
- Accept your true self,
- Forgive others and self,
- Let go of anger and inner turmoil,
- Give yourself to others,
- Celebrate your faith,
- Discover personal meaning in life,
- Make your feelings work for you, and
- Achieve balance in your life
Aging with Wisdom and Grace By Dr. Maureen McCarthy
Retirement is a natural part of life cycle, just as aging is a normal aspect of living.
Even the newborn infant ages from one day to the next. The real goal of every human being should be to grow in age, wisdom and grace. Grace is the response to the daily blessings we experience, some which may be small, others great. To live with an awareness of God’s grace is to possess a profound sense of awe, gratitude, a deep respect for all human beings and an appreciation of the ecology which, in fact, was created by God for all people to enjoy.
Jack Benny joked that life began at age 39. Some say life begins when you retire because you experience a new sense of freedom; others insist you age exactly as you live. We have all met people who are old at age 20 and seventy years olds, like former President Carter, who still builds Houses for the poor. The French say, “You’re as old as you look!” Americans believe. “You’re as old as you feel!” At age 86, Pablo Picasso said, “It takes a long time to become young!”
Therefore, aging is more than health and genetics. It is closely linked with attitude, activity, resourcefulness, prayerfulness and connectedness to others and the strengthening of intergenerational ties. Blessed Teresa of Calcutta, commonly known as Mother Teresa, repeatedly stressed the need for love, even as she advocated that we should do small things with great love.
Some of the hallmarks of aging with wisdom and grace include the following:
* Do learn to see yourself as unique; no one exactly like you ever lived before. Identify some characteristics that you feel makes you unique; work on cultivating being loveable.
* Do regard retirement and aging as new opportunity to define yourself and toshare blessings.
* Do focus on reviving old interests and friends; seek new pleasures and the satisfaction that comes from volunteering.
* Be practical and realistic about life: learn about the normal processes of aging.
* Maintain a zestful and enthusiastic involvement in life. It is the best antidote to aging.
* Take time to be in prayer, silence and solitude each day with the Lord. He has promised “My peace I leave you, my peace I give to you.”
Finally, the writer has been a long term caregiver, a licensed counselor, a licensed psychologist, university professor and at age 67, has just returned from 3 years and 6 months as a volunteer in Africa. She hopes to return to the missions and age with wisdom and grace.
Top Five Regrets of the Dying
Top Five Regrets of the Dying
By Bronnie Ware
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way.
From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship.
Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier
This is a surprisingly common one.
Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice.
They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
Original source – http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html
