This morning I had breakfast with a good friend who was lamenting that life didn’t turn out the way she had planned. Mine hasn’t either. And, I have been wondering lately how few people actually can say in midlife that their life took exactly the direction they expected.
How we handle this difference is hugely responsible for how we feel about our lives and also responsible for the future we are creating. I’ve learned to focus on the ‘essence’ of what I want in life, rather than the ‘it must be THIS way’ in almost every aspect of my life and it makes a major difference in how I am living. I like my life. Of course, there is more that is possible. But, there will always be room for more. That’s the nature of growth – and it’s actually the nature of God itself – every expanding.
I’ve come to realize that unlike what I thought as a child, there is no “plan” that I have to fit into; there are no should’s in life and nothing that I am supposed to do. Instead, on a moment to moment basis, I can ask – does this feel good? AND -what am I grateful for? It’s a much better focus. Try it…
Hello Dr Toni…..
I enjoyed this post… because I enjoy the topic! My life… well… I didn’t have any expectations, nor did anybody else have any, for the way my life would turn out. I was born with SMA and have always been in a wheelchair. So the normal expectations were not there for me but I didn’t really like the expectations that many people put on people with a disability. Then thank heavens, nor did my parents!
I haven’t followed a typical path at all — and I have done more things than I think I would have if I hadn’t been in a wheelchair. 50 odd years ago the expectation was that I would have worked for a while, got married, had kids and whatever. But it didn’t happen and instead I went to Uni, travelled the world, and did a heap of other stuff.
Maybe those of us who didn’t follow a typical plan are the fortunate ones — because we found our own wings and flew our own path. And I know there are many like me.
I love your musings!
Best wishes always
Jeanne
http://www.aspirationsplus.com