In the quest for healthy aging, many people turn to doctors, self-help books or herbal supplements. But they overlook a powerful tool that could help them fight illness and depression, speed recovery, slow aging and prolong life: their friends.
Even Researchers are starting to pay attention to the importance of friendship and social networks in overall health.
One of the things I did when creating my Life Review was to write a list
(by decade) of who the important people were in my life at that time. You’d be amazed at how many people have crossed your path in a lifetime.
Yes, I did find that some of them have transitioned to another plane and some I am no longer in touch with. Even that is a great thing to ponder. Why do some friends make it for the long haul and others seem to be there for only a brief moment in time? Each of us would answer that differently.
(Would love to hear your ideas on this – please comment below this article.)
What follows is a summary of something I learned long ago in life, but the list was originally put together by Dale Carnegie. It’s worth pondering.
Dale Carnegie’s Six Rules for Winning Friends:
1. Be genuinely interested in other people.
Friend – a person who listens attentively while you say nothing.
Starhawk:Community. Somewhere, there are people to whom we can speak with passion without having the words catch in our throats.
Somewhere a circle of hands will open to receive us, eyes will light up as we enter, voices will celebrate with us whenever we come into our own power.
Community means strength that joins our strength to do the work that needs to be done. Arms to hold us when we falter. A circle of healing. A circle of friends. Someplace where we can be free.
WHERE IS YOUR COMMUNITY?
2. Smile. A man without a smiling face must not open shop.
There are some people who are very resourceful at being remorseful
And who apparently feel that the best way to make friends
Is to do something terrible and then make amends. Ogden Nash
A bumptious playwright who had a new show opening sent a couple of tickets for the first night to the mayor of the city with a note suggesting that the chief executive could bring a friend, if you have one.
The mayor returned the tickets with a courteous letter stating that previous engagements made it impossible for him to see the show the opening night, but he would purchase two tickets for the second performance – if there was one!.
3. Remember that a person’s name to that person is the sweetest and most important sound in the language.
Let you be who you are. Complement your weaknesses… not talk about them
Real friends are those who, when you’ve made a fool of yourself, don’t feel that you’ve done a permanent job.
Every man should keep a fair-sized cemetery in which to bury the faults of his friends.
Say only what is TRUE, NECESSARY , KIND
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. Many persons call a doctor when all they want is an audience.
Be more ready to visit a friend in adversity than in prosperity.
Unless you bear with the faults of a friend, you betray your own.
A false friend is like a shadow, keeping close to us while we walk in the sunshine but leaving us when we cross into the shade
WHO AM I WILLING TO COMMIT TO
A friend is one to whom we may pour out the contents of our hearts, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.
Between friends, there is a silent mental communication — telepath
5. Talk in terms of the other’s interests
What friends have in common is the best interest of each other.
Friends seek to coexist, complement and grow toward greater good with each other. One such example is the relationship between Ruth Eisenberg and Margaret Patrick, pianists who have played to audiences in Canada and the US> Because of the effect of strokes, one woman plays piano with her right hand and the other with her left. Together they produce the mutually harmonious music they both love because each woman is willing to share the best of herself.
6. Make the other person feel important – and do it with sincerity.
I had a marvelous day said the first salesman, made lots of friends of our company.Me too, said the second salesman quite understandingly. I didn’t sell anything either.
I’ll close this article today by telling you one of my favorite stories that I believe says it all.
When a woman in a certain African tribe knows she is pregnant, she goes out into the wilderness with a few friends and together they pray and meditate until they hear the song of the child. They recognize that every soul has
its own vibration that expresses its unique flavor and purpose. When the women attune to the song, they sing it out loud. Then they return to the tribe and teach it to everyone else.
When the child is born, the community gathers and sings the child’s song to him or her. Later, when the child enters education, the village gathers and chants the child’s song. When the child passes through the initiation to adulthood, the people again come together and sing. At the time of marriage, the person hears his or her song.
Finally, when the soul is about to pass from this world, the family and friends gather at the person’s bed, just as they did at their birth, and they sing the person to the next life.
In the African tribe there is one other occasion upon which the villagers sing to the child. If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around them. Then
they sing their song to them.
The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity. When you recognize your own song, you have no desire or need to do anything that would hurt another.
A friend is someone who knows your song and sings it to you when you have forgotten it. Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.
