I’ve been re-reading an old favorite, “You Money or Your Life” and am reminded of something I truly believe. I find that as part of the spirituality in the aging process, most of us don’t know when enough is enough. I, for one, never think I am doing enough…with the emphasis on the doing.
Midlife gives us the opportunity to pause and begin to recognize that what truly mattes in life, are not the things we’ve done or the gadgets we’ve accumulated, but the person we have become. I like who I am. I like who I am becoming. Do I HAVE it all? No – nor do I think that’s a goal anymore.
I’m in the process of clearing out – cleaning out old clothes to make room for a new look I am developing. Cleaning out old journals – because they really only capture the moment they were written in, and that moment is no longer important.
Sometimes I grieve for those old moments. Grieving is an important part of moving forward, I believe. But, the grief is simply meant to be acknowledged and noticed and not lived from. I am living from my future – and it is constantly containing newness – different from the young girl who danced and sang. Different from the student and the poet. But, none the less special. I am learning to honor this new moment. I am grateful. Are you?
Thank you, Dr Toni,
You’ve put down some wise words here, to be sure.
The steps you speak of in your ponderings, that of “clearing out” to make room for the new, and that of “grieving”, are important. These can be scary places, and sometimes it takes a lot of courage to acknowledge them, and then move on. I agree, it’s not about the gain, or the goal, it’s about who we become in trying to reach it.
I think that a critical step in remembering to love ourselves through all of the changes, is patience. Emotions are only reflections of our process. They guide us. Emotions will break, like waves on a beach, and it will all shift, and change. Always. We need to be patient with ourselves, remembering that we are not “stuck” in the difficult places, and that the process itself will see us through.
Nothing last forever, not even your troubles. But getting through the troubles, enriches us, and deepens our compassion for others. We have good reason to be grateful for that. That’s where we earn our wings.
Jean
p.s… and then there’s that other critical part: Laughter!
Like that T-shirt I read somewhere: “I used to care. But I take a pill for that, now.”
Dear DR. Toni; Had an experience with Rev. Maria at our Wed. Science of mind group meeting. We were asked to verbalize something we could remember about our growing up in our families. My remembering all of the alchoholic fights and unhappiness affected me very physically. Today on my way to Oakbrook it occured to me to make a mental list of all of the people that I think have caused me pain over my lifetime. At some I laughed and others I reviewed the painfull stuff.
Our service today was about being gratefull for everything in our lives and living in gatitude. I am grateful for everything that I have and the talents I have been blessed with.
Thank you for your messages. They mean a lot to me.
Eileen Shaffery
Yes, life is truly a process and when we remember that ‘It came to pass” with whatever happens, we’re always better off.
It’s harder, of course, to remember that when we are in-joying life. But, even joy must give way – sometimes to greater bliss when we are willing to not hold onto it.
I find emotions to be so fleeting. I once did a process called the Sedona Method — it was awesome for learning how easily and quickly we move through emotions WHEN WE LET THEM BE FULLY felt. That’s the key.