As I work with more and more clients and read about and talk to others about their ‘programs’, I can’t help noticing the difference between coaching and mentoring. It led me to reflect on my own life and how I have used both.
COACHES
Voice Lessons
When I was young I wanted to sing and used to perform before a captive audience of my family whenever I could. As I grew older and discovered that I actually had a decent voice, I went out to find a voice coach. I discovered soon that I actually didn’t like the ones who praised me a lot and just let me practice some scales and whatever I wanted to sing. I resisted the one who had me singing some classical music that I didn’t relate to well at the time, but I appreciated her when I realized that my range had expanded because of it. The best coaches were the ones who had a system that I could follow. There were a series of things I had to practice and particular ways I had to learn to breathe if I were to sustain the higher notes for any length of time. I learned a lot and my voice improved.
Sports
When I talk about sports coaches, it is less from personal experience and more from observation and from what others have told me. But, once again, the best coaches have a PLAN that they follow. I’ve seen it in watching football. When the team huddles, the coach gives them the strategy to be followed – exactly. It seems that good coaches tell you what to do and how to do it.
Internet Marketing
The first thing I did when I got involved in Internet marketing was to hire a coach. I got weekly homework and to do lists which I followed exactly and reported my progress. I was encouraged along the way and told when I was doing things properly and when I was not. I paid large sums of money to get this kind of advice.
Life Coach
At times in my life I have also hired life coaches. Usually it was when I had a specific goal that I wanted to achieve. I found someone who had done what I wanted to do. One example was when I wanted to make my book a best-seller. I found someone who had done that many times over and paid her on a weekly basis to guide me in the process. I became a best seller following exactly what she told me to do.
Most life coaches I know (and I know a lot of them) have a particular focus. One, for example, works to help women find their soul mates. She works with them to uncover beliefs that may be stopping them and has a number of techniques and tools she teaches them to use to find that perfect person.
Sum it all –
A coach listens to what it is you want to achieve – with the emphasis on doing and achieving and then holds you accountable to accomplish the tasks they set out. Most of the coaches I’ve seen have a system of success that they can walk you through at whatever pace you are ready to follow. They are your cheerleader in reaching your goal.
MENTORING – on the other hand is more of a BEING process rather than a doing. The mentor is there without a plan – to watch what your life wishes to unfold and helps you see more clearly who you are being and who you might need to be in order for a given change to occur in your life.
Later this week I’ll describe the mentoring process in more detail. It’s the place I work from and feel most comfortable with these days. What about you? See the box below – let’s hear your comments. Have you had good coaching? What’s made it good? Were you able to achieve your goals? Was anything missing for you? What would you have liked to have experienced? Let me know.
