AGEISM
Until recently, aging was regarded with disdain, with an expectancy of waning vigor and even social uselessness. But the stereotypes are changing and seniors are becoming more and more interested in true-life long learning, healthy lifestyles and even political and social activism. We are truly seeing a population reinventing itself. In many of our own minds, however, ageism still exists.
Why Survive: Being Old in America
.Robert Butler, in his insightful, ground-breaking best-seller, Why Survive: Being Old in America (Harper & Rowe, 1975), defines ageism as:
“. . . a process of systematic stereotyping of and discrimination against people because they are old, just as racism and sexism accomplish this with skin color and gender. Old people are categorized as senile, rigid in thought and manner, old-fashioned in morality and skills . . . Ageism allows the younger generation to see older people as different from themselves; thus they subtly cease to identify with their elders as human beings. . . . Ageism, like all prejudices, influences the self-view and behavior of its victims. The elderly tend to adopt negative definitions of themselves and to perpetuate the very stereotypes directed against them, thereby reinforcing society’s beliefs.” (pp 12-13)
Fear of Aging
Instead of acknowledging aging as a normal, natural process that can and ought to purify us and help us to continue our spiritual growth, ageism teaches us to fear our aging process. Society teaches us starting when we are very young to deny it and as we reach middle age and older, to do all that we can to prevent it. In fact, there is a whole new longevity field that presents itself as ‘anti-aging.’
The process of aging itself, strikes most individuals as a burden, a problem to be dealt with rather than a vehicle to learn the spiritual lessons we may have missed in our younger years.
In counteracting the negativism of ageism, as well as in developing their own personal spirituality of aging, older adults (in midlife and beyond) may wish to reflect on
Universal spiritual principles:
1. Living in the now — the present moment. The past is important; it has shaped us and brought us to the present moment. Memories, especially the good ones, need to be treasured and brought to consciousness from time to time. Good memories help provide a sense of wellbeing and validate one’s life. Painful memories remind us that there is still work to do. The future is not yet, and while planning needs to be done and relishing up-coming events can give one a reason for “getting out of bed,” the reality is that life is not lived in the future. It is in the present moment that we encounter our God. God is not a god of the past; nor is God a god of the future. God is God of the present moment. Memory lapses may be God’s way of calling us to the present moment.
2. God is near and God is Good. Deliberately engaging in memory work helps to bring home the realization that God has always been at work in the course of one’s life. Oftentimes, it is only as we look back over life’s events that we recognize how we have been aided by grace in so many circumstances of our lives. . It is sometimes only in retrospect that we can see how things that seemed to be random, actually fit perfectly in the plan of our lives. Life Review serves to help us live in a continual space of awe and gratitude.
Life Review can also be a springboard to new possibilities. There can often be a seed of new opportunity in paths we once chose not to take.
Memory work also reminds us — sometimes painfully — that there is much messiness in life and that before our life is complete, we may want to clean up loose ends. A significant part of our “letting go” is completion or release of those loose ends, perhaps especially in the delicate art of mending broken or damaged relationships.
3. It is in giving that we receive. The aging process in midlife (& beyond) is a calling, not to a time of crisis or social uselessness, but to a time of increased self-development and spiritual growth. In the past, midlife was seen as the beginning of the end. Sociologists are now calling this period a time of ‘sage-ing’ where people are taking their place as elders rather than as the elderly. Our society will be a better place as this new group learns to use this wisdom in service, or what psychologists like Erikson and Jung have called, generativity. Women and men somehow wrestle with the mystery of suffering in their lives and in our world. Old age gives one the precious opportunity to leisurely pray about and reflect on this great mystery and possibly integrate it in our lives each one in his/her own unique way. The invitation is universal and to the point:
A spirituality of aging focuses in on the aging process itself as the ordinary human process that our soul uses to bring us to closer to God. The process of aging itself is the grist for the mill that allows that experience to grow.
